The disappearing two-parent household is the elephant hiding in plain sight

There’s a lot more agreement that America is headed in the wrong direction. Regardless of party, region, ideology or much else, people have been on a collective extended downer.

Things may be getting worse. Today’s young people are a troubled generation. The culprit of the day is social media. The unindicted co-conspirators are the cellphone and the internet. People are writing about it and talking about how to deal with it. One can hope, but good luck with limiting texting and app use.

It’s hard to put techno-cultural toothpaste back in the tube. But it is worth a try. It’s critical to at least observe, discuss and hope parents do a better job limiting or at least moderating its use.

There’s an elephant hiding in plain sight that makes it hard to rely on parental leadership. Where the norm was once two parents at home, it's rapidly becoming only one. This affects the lives and almost certainly the happiness of children.

Fewer Americans are being raised in two-parent households than at any time in our history. This trend is a bridge to somewhere. Nobody knows exactly where. But from all indications, it’s not a good place.

This isn't about judging single parents

Not many people want to talk about this. That’s understandable. Nobody wants to minimize the wonderful job millions of single parents do. Nobody wants to appear to judge others. I get that. I was a single parent for a number of years. But it's also regrettable to ignore a major, if not the major, factor underlying our present social and economic malaise.

It's building on itself. Kids who grow up without the benefits of two parents will certainly be more likely to follow a similar path.

In 2018, 23% of American children lived in single-family households. The United Kingdom was second at 21%. Russia followed at 18%. At the other end of the spectrum were China and Japan at 3% and 7%, respectively.

The comparative data supporting this notion is from six years ago. It’s almost certainly worse now. Putting causes, judgments, moralizing and everything else aside, this has incontrovertible negative impacts on both the children and the society. It probably has a negative impact on the single parent as well as the non-present partner in conception.

Start with fundamental household economics. Two working parents can generate significantly more income than one and much better handle the cost of housing. Fewer adults sharing a household means more living units are required. One less adult puts additional demand on an overburdened child care system.

The role of American institutions and culture

So why is this happening here and not in Africa, Asia, South America or most of Europe? It does seem to have something to do with the evolution of American institutions and culture.

The negative consequences are real. There’s ample evidence that young people in single-parent households do worse in school, are more likely to drop out, earn lower incomes and are more likely to end up trapped in the criminal justice system. Boys and young men are increasingly at risk.

Policy can help. Changes in values would help more.

There are a few policy levers that can affect this behavior. Eliminate any possible disincentives embedded in public assistance programs. Don’t penalize a couple financially for getting married. Sounds easier than it is for need-based programs. While engineering social programs might do something in the margins, the real challenge is cultural. Legislation and regulation just won’t do much. It will take long, sustained changes in values.

Social media, family structure, mass media and popular entertainment all feed off each other in ways that transcend society’s control. Awareness and then small turns on the ocean liner’s steering wheel are all that’s possible.

Even small improvements require a will to change. Or better accommodate greatly expanded day care. If we don’t acknowledge and address this trend, we had better alter our societal expectations for generations to come.

William Lyons is Professor Emeritus of Political Science and Interim Associate Director of The Institute of American Civics at the Howard Baker School of Public Policy and Public Affairs at the University of Tennessee. He also served as Chief Policy Officer for Knoxville Mayors Bill Haslam, Daniel Brown and Madeline Rogero. The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of the Institute of American Civics or the University of Tennessee.

This article originally appeared on Knoxville News Sentinel: Disappearing two-parent household is elephant hiding in plain sight