From dancing to egg rolls: Families unite to ensure Appleton senior with autism has prom of her life

For many high schoolers, prom is an evening to remember.

By all expectations, Appleton Area School District's senior prom, held April 13 at the Hilton Paper Valley and themed around Vincent van Gogh's famous "Starry Night" painting, would be magical, with games, refreshments, photo booths, decorations and, of course, dancing.

Appleton East senior Bailey Piepenhagen, 17, knew she wanted to be there.

But Bailey has autism, which presented challenges for her prom dream. Going by herself would risk "having my emotions trigger me," she said. "I was going to feel anxious, excited, lonely."

Still, there was "no way" she wanted to go to prom with either of her parents, said her mom, Kris Reynebeau. Bailey's strong feelings prompted Reynebeau to look for a way for Bailey to go with another student.

Local mom group on Facebook connects two moms and their high-school daughters

Reynebeau said she looked for help for Bailey for weeks, contacting her daughter's school and other parent and support groups. Finally, she posted a plea for help on a Facebook group for Appleton-area moms.

Jessica Heinz, who works as an educational assistant at the nearby Neenah Joint School District, saw the post.

Another mom, Jessica Heinz, said her daughter would help, but couldn't go to prom since she wasn't a senior. Reynebeau saw a glimmer of hope, as she knew that her daughter — a senior — could invite a high school student of any grade level to prom.

As it turned out, Heinz's daughter, Aubrey, 15, recognized Bailey in a photo thanks to AASD's Adapted Sports League, where Aubrey volunteers and Bailey plays soccer, hockey and wiffleball. Aubrey, who also works in respite care, said she was "really excited" for the chance to help out.

Bailey got busy preparing for prom. She picked out her dress at Windsor's in the Fox River Mall, and her dad, Jason Piepenhagen, took her to get her nails done. Her nails and dress were purple, one of her favorite colors.

Aubrey found a time to hit the racks, as well, and got her dress in two hours, thanks to the help of her "power shopper" grandmother.

Bailey also reached out to a classmate, senior Josiah Reeves, and invited him to go to prom with her and Aubrey. In less than a week, the party of three was set.

Although Bailey was 'shaking like crazy' at first, she 'knew a lot of the songs' and danced much of the night away

That Saturday, Bailey, Aubrey and Josiah started their evening at a pavilion near Pullman's to take photos. Dozens of other seniors were there doing the same thing; Bailey said she was already feeling nervous: "My legs were shaking like crazy."

After dinner at Good Company, the trio headed to Appleton East, where students boarded buses destined for prom.

Reynebeau guessed about 800 students were there that night, packed into the Hilton Paper Valley hotel ballroom. Students danced in a ballroom lit in many colors, partying among the yellow and blue balloons and crepe paper decorations that festooned the hallways.

Bailey said she "knew a lot of the songs" and danced much of the time. Still, she, Josiah and Aubrey kept to the edges of the crowd to keep from getting "too squished," and Bailey and Aubrey also helped make sure Josiah was comfortable.

Josiah, whose mother describes him as having "high-functioning" autism, doesn't enjoy strobe lights, Aubrey said, adding that he wore a pair of sunglasses indoors to counter that.

And they took plenty of refreshment breaks: "I ate so many egg rolls," Aubrey said.

During prom, Reynebeau volunteered to check coats at the hotel, so any of the teens could easily check in with her. As the night wore on, Reynebeau said, "the more tired Aubrey looked, the more energy Bailey and Josiah had."

But as tired as she might have been, Aubrey said that "when (Bailey and Josiah) were having a good time, so was I."

Post-Crescent prom photo was 'everything we wanted for Bailey'

Shortly after the three teens arrived at the hotel for prom, Post-Crescent photographer Dan Powers captured a shot of Bailey and Josiah sitting on a bench.

Reynebeau loved the photo, saying in a note to Powers that it "captured everything innocent, happy and magical I wanted for Bailey that night."

Since the prom, Bailey has been "on Cloud 9," Reynebeau said. Her dress has been hanging up in her room ever since, alongside her jewelry collection and across from her posters of the superhero Black Panther.

During an interview with both families, Bailey's family thanked the Heinzes for their help; Reynebeau said she "couldn't thank (Aubrey and Jessica) enough."

Bailey's older brother, Travis Piepenhagen, said his own prom was "pretty lackluster" because of the pandemic, and it meant a lot to him that Bailey was able to get the senior prom experience he didn't.

Aubrey said the experience taught her "little things I should know for my own senior prom," like the importance of bringing along a dance-friendly pair of shoes.

Families stress importance of inclusion: 'Just be kind'

Part of the reason Reynebeau wanted to share the story behind Bailey's prom was that "we want others to see the happiness (kids like Bailey) can have in a non-special needs environment," she said.

Throughout her time in school, Bailey has always wanted — and struggled — to be accepted and included by her neurotypical peers, Reynebeau said.

"They are kids for so short a time," Reynebeau said. "If we can't include everyone as kids, how can (kids with differing abilities) expect to be included as adults?"

Heinz said she has worked in special education and helped kids with autism for most of her professional life; exposing Aubrey to people from "all walks of life" was important to her.

Heinz added that she teaches the kids in her life to "just be kind. They don't have to be BFFs — just treat people with respect."

Still, during an interview, Aubrey and Bailey discussed plans to meet up this summer, like going swimming and cheering on Bailey at Miracle League games.

"Seeing Bailey happy and doing these things (like any other kid) means a lot to us," Jason said.

Rebecca Loroff is a K-12 education reporter for the USA TODAY NETWORK-Wisconsin. She welcomes story tips and feedback. Contact her atrloroff@gannett.com. Follow her on X (formerly Twitter) at @RebeccaLoroff.

This article originally appeared on Appleton Post-Crescent: Appleton East teen with autism found acceptance, inclusion at prom