Charlotte Latvala: Patiently waiting for a ‘Charlotte’ comeback
I had to send the meme to my friend Jenni.
The photo was of an aqua blue, 1980s rotary phone. In the middle of the dial – where you used to write your number – it said: “Jenny: 867-5309.”
At the top of the photo: “Found in an antique shop.”
(The joke here being a reference to a popular song from this long-ago era. Look it up, children.)
“Look, they spelled your name wrong,” I wrote.
“Story of my life! LOL," she responded.
I hear you, friend. Because I too have had my name slaughtered. It’s our “Liza with a Z” bond. (Google it, children.)
I have been "Charolette." I have been "Sharlott." I have even been “Charolatte.” (Which I am keeping in reserve in case I ever have a fancy coffee named after me.)
I can always tell it’s coming. When someone hesitates before writing my name, I know they are wrestling with the C and the H. Is it like checkers and chuck roast? Or chardonnay and chef?
Here’s a hint: I am not Charles. I am not Swiss chard. I am not cherubic or charming or chill, not with any of this.
No, I am the charcuterie board, the Chablis, the Charmin bath tissue being squeezed by the infernal Mr. Whipple.
(On a side note, I’m also not Charla. I’m not Charlene. I’m not Charmaine. Although I’ve known lovely people by all those names, they are not me, and I am not them.)
On one hand, I get it. The English language is hard. And Charlotte comes from the French anyway. If you write my name phonetically, you start with an “Sh” sound. And maybe “Sharlit” seems like an actual word to you. Who am I to say?
But on the other hand…Charlotte? It’s a name that’s been around for centuries. I was named after an aunt, who family lore has it was named after Charlotte Bronte. (Which is a pretty darn good legacy in my mind.)
And you can’t get through childhood (at least I hope not) without reading “Charlotte’s Web.” Charlotte the spider was herself famous for her spelling. (How many other arachnids could handle “TERRIFIC” or “RADIANT”?)
As a side note, I completely expect people to misspell my last name. I’m actually shocked when anyone gets it right. Finnish surnames are not so common in western Pennsylvania. (I have never researched this, but I’ve been told that “v” never follows “t” in English, so that combo throws off the eye. True? Maybe? At any rate, I don’t have a common last name, and I accept all that comes with that.)
But after a lifetime of misspellings, I think this Charlotte is about to get her revenge. Because Charlotte is currently number three on the Social Security Administration list of popular girl names for 2023, right behind stalwarts Olivia and Emma.
And in numbers, there is strength. Maybe there will even be a cool coffee named after us one day.
Charlotte is a columnist for The Times. You can reach her at charlottelatvala@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on Beaver County Times: Charlotte Latvala: Patiently waiting for a ‘Charlotte’ comeback
