Changing lives, one arm at a time - The Funny Business of Parenting

One of the things you should not do is offer to arm wrestle a child. If you arm wrestle a child and lose, you will be reminded of it every day for the rest of your life.

I don’t know how it happened, but I made this exact mistake recently. It might surprise you to hear this, but my 10-year-old opponent wasn’t a professional sumo wrestler, a particularly large child or an actual gorilla. I didn’t let him win, either; I gave it all I’ve got.

In case you don’t know, arm wrestling is a sport in which two people who have nothing better to do try to pin down each other’s arms onto a table, in the hopes of ruining their reputations forever. Arm wrestling can also come in handy with a pouting child who needs to let off some steam and, if I’m involved, enjoy the sweet taste of success.

I probably should have told the watching crowd about the rare disease I have which causes extreme forearm muscle atrophy, but I don’t like to lie to children when it comes to athletics. And although I may think I’m a strong, capable and responsible adult, I’ve accepted that two out of three isn’t bad. In fact, other than the quiet snickering whenever I walk by, I still have the respect and admiration any good parent or teacher should have.

“What’s it like knowing that you’re stronger than a grownup?” I said to my shorter but mightier victor, as he signed autographs in the school gym. An important cable sports network had just offered him a six-figure contract to host a kids’ arm wrestling show and he was in negotiations with a personal care brand for his own line of antiperspirant products.

“It feels great,” he answered. “I didn’t think I had it in me.”

I asked him how he would use his newfound strength to help others.

He looked at the ground for a few seconds, then smiled. “It could come in handy if you turned into a zombie.”

I took his playful answer to mean that our wrestling match had significantly cheered him up.

Pam J. Hecht is a writer, instructor and mother of two (but not necessarily in that order). Reach her at pamjh8@gmail.com or pamjhecht.com.

This article originally appeared on Greenville News: Changing lives, one arm at a time - The Funny Business of Parenting