Caregiver finds her friend’s family after he and his estranged sister die on same day

Jesse Alexander was estranged from his family when he died on Aug. 24, and his friend and caregiver knew little about them.

Alexander, who was homeless when Rosanne Kinley met him in Anderson, South Carolina, said he had mentioned family before, yet she was never sure what to believe.

But after Kinley wrote and published his obituary, it led her not only to meet some of his children, but also to learn that on the day he died, his long-lost sister had died two hours earlier.

Alexander was a well-known homeless person in Anderson, about 120 miles northwest of Columbia.

He pushed a bicycle with a cart and a flag and often sat in front of a convenience store waving to people, Kinsely told McClatchy News.

Kinley, who owns a salon and day spa in Anderson and works for the National Interstate Council of State Boards of Cosmetology, would sometimes stop and give him money or bring him lunch.

But in September 2017, she learned that Alexander, who was known in town as the “Man on Main Street,” had been beaten, robbed and sprayed in the eyes with mace.

Kinley went to visit him at the Red Roof Inn, where he was staying, and decided, with the help of donations from friends, family members and strangers, to pay for his hotel room so he could remain comfortable and safe.

“I couldn’t stand the thought of him out in the cold,” she said.

The following year, she was able to move him into an apartment complex off of North Main Street. He contributed $300 toward his rent, and she and her friends and family members covered the rest of his expenses.

‘Happy as could be’

Kinley said she became his power of attorney, got him a doctor and was eventually able to get him qualified for a local housing authority, which helped pay his rent. Every day, Kinley would visit with him to check on his health and give him his medications.

“He was just as happy as he could be for the last five years of his life,” she said.

Alexander had mentioned to Kinley that he had two sisters, but that he didn’t know where they were. He suffered from severe mental health issues, and would sometimes talk about things that weren’t real, so Kinley said she wasn’t sure what was true.

But as she continued to care for him, she learned about his likes, preferences and quirks that made him special, such as his love of Dr Pepper, which was “his only addiction.”

“When he started turning Dr Pepper away, we knew the end was near,” his obituary Kinley, reads. “He always said, ‘find me a good-looking red head!’ He loved Jesus, Red Heads and Dr Pepper. In that order!!”

‘He never bounced back’

Over the summer, Kinley began to notice that Alexander’s health was deteriorating.

“He kept falling and they determined that he had severe stenosis of the spine and he needed surgery,” she said.

He did well after the first operation, but then developed a hematoma and had to go back in for surgery.

After the second operation, “he never bounced back,” she said.

He died at the age of 79 at around 10 a.m. on Wednesday, Aug. 24, she said.

‘I think it’s Jesse’s sister’

Kinely penned Alexander’s obituary as best she could.

“There’s not much known about Jesse prior to 2018 other than “the little guy that pushes his bicycle with the American Flag,” she wrote. “... Law Enforcement knew Jesse..not because of problems, but just because he was homeless and elderly…and loved everyone.”

After she published the piece, a friend called.

She said, “you may already know this but there’s another obituary in the paper and I think it’s Jesse’s sister,’” Kinsley recalled.

The woman’s obituary, written for Helen Christine Alexander Cantrell Hawkins Horne, said that the 86-year-old, of Anderson, died on Aug. 24 and was survived by family members, including a brother named O’Dell Alexander.

Kinely said she always thought O’Dell was Alexander’s middle name. The possibility that she could now have a link to his long-lost family members was too special a coincidence to pass up.

So, on Aug. 27, she drove to the funeral home where Horne’s service was being held.

She found the woman’s son and explained to him who she was and how she knew O’Dell Alexander, or Jesse. He told her that Jesse Alexander was his uncle, and he introduced her to Jesse Alexander’s daughter.

“I just told her who her father was when he passed away, and with 100% certainty I could tell her that her father was with Jesus, and she cried,” Kinley said. “I said, ‘Whatever happened in your life, I hope you can forgive him because he was a wonderful man when he passed away.’”

Kinely said she also learned that Alexander’s sister had died at 8 a.m. on Aug. 24, just two hours before her brother.

“To think that they went hand-in-hand to heaven just made me cry,” she said. “The stars just lined up for this ending.”

‘You can’t save the world, but you can save one person’

Kinley said that her story of helping care for Alexander over the course of five years can help raise awareness about the mental health crisis in America.

“I don’t know what the answer is,” she said, “but someone out there has to be able to help the mentally ill in this country and this nation because (Alexander) couldn’t help himself.”

And even though she never learned how exactly Alexander became estranged from his family or how long it had been since they’d seen each other, being able to meet some of his loved ones at his sister’s memorial service brought her peace.

“Regardless of whatever happened in the past, I could tell them the man he was today,” she said.

She hopes people will remember the impact that they can have on someone’s life with an act of kindness.

“You can’t save the world, but you can save one person,” she said, “and if everybody did (that) for one person, the world would be a better place.”

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