Building a network of support for in-home care

May 25—Peter Anders, 77, has always been a social butterfly.

A photographer and Santa Fe resident, he was "the kindest person I've ever known," said Kay Anders, his wife of 26 years, whom he met while both were working at Los Alamos National Laboratory.

None of that has changed as Peter Anders' dementia has slowly set in over the last 10 years.

"He still has a wonderful sense of humor," said Kay Anders, who cares for her husband at home. "He still is very caring, and especially when we're not in a crowd, when it's with people he knows or just the two of us, he can carry on a conversation."

Several years ago, Kay Anders tried to find an assisted living center with a memory care option where the couple could live together, but the costs were high, and finding a space that worked for them both was difficult. She's able to continue caring for her husband at home, she said, thanks to community support services she's found, such as Life Circle New Mexico's adult day care service in Santa Fe. The center gives her breaks to run errands or go to a water aerobics class — while giving her husband a much-needed social outlet.

Residential long-term treatment for Alzheimer's disease and other types of dementia isn't just expensive and hard to find. For many aging New Mexicans, it's not how they want to live.

That's why it's become a priority for the state to shore up the system of services that allow aging people in New Mexico to remain in their homes for as long as possible, said New Mexico Aging and Long-Term Services Cabinet Secretary Jen Paul Schroer.

"The most important thing is to try to help families keep their loved one in their own home, or with a family member, and providing that network of supports, even with family members that have dementia or Alzheimer's," Paul Schroer said.

State leaders are looking at a number of ways to help increase in-home and community-based services, Paul Schroer said, an effort that comes as New Mexico sees a rise in both its aging population and the costs for residential long-term care, and a decrease in facilities offering such services.

The state effort includes New MexiCare, a program rolled out last year that offers financial support to some state residents who wouldn't otherwise qualify for a paid caregiver through Medicare or Medicaid. The program, which offers stipends of up to $12,000 for existing caregivers, is now only available in Harding, Catron, Sierra, Lincoln, San Miguel and De Baca counties, but the state plans to expand it.

The state also aims to raise awareness of services and support for patients and caregivers through the upcoming launch of a network Paul Schroer said will bring together "those caregivers into a community so they have that comprehensive support around even counseling and resources."

She noted such a network could aid memory care patients in particular.

"The dementia piece, it adds in another component that's difficult for families to navigate and communicate with their loved ones," she said.

Lea VanMerkestyn, the director of Life Circle New Mexico, said many families don't want to put their loved ones in long-term facilities until it's "absolutely necessary," and services like Life Circle helps those family members keep functioning.

"We're providing what they call respite," she said. "We are giving a break to the family — getting a few hours to yourself to run errands. ... I've had families who are undergoing cancer treatment, and the amount of time that they need to be in a physician's office would not always be easy for their person."

Kay Anders takes her husband to the center twice a week. "It is the best thing I have found to help him and myself," she said.

"This gives him a chance to talk to people, and nobody's making fun of him or looking at him like he's crazy," she said. "It is just a very warm and welcoming group. ... It is incredible."

Consuelo Walker, another Santa Fe resident who's caring for her 85-year-old husband at home, said community supports have been incredibly helpful as she's navigated his dementia.

"He asked us, if at all possible, not to put him in an institution, so that's what we are trying to do," said Walker, 79, who has adult children and other relatives in the area.

Walker said she's has attended trainings offered by the Memory Care Alliance in Santa Fe and has sought guidance from the Alzheimer's Association. She also has connected with neighbors whose family members have had dementia, receives support from her children and other relatives, and keeps herself engaged volunteering for her church's environmental committee, which she said "keeps me alive."

"It's taken some time to get to this level," she said, adding, "you realize you are not Wonder Woman."

David Davis, executive director of the Memory Care Alliance, said it focuses on education to combat fear and stigma around dementia, and on keeping caregivers and memory loss patients from becoming isolated.

Many people fear dementia, Davis said, which makes coping with a diagnosis more difficult.

"People are afraid to ask for help," he said. "People don't know there is help."