Bill Church column: We have so much news for you to read. Never mind the orderly line.
The Dr. Rick commercials about homeowners are hilarious until you realize he’s mocking us for becoming our controlling parents.
How clever and surreal that the fake life coach from the Progressive insurance commercials has a popular (and real) book on Amazon.
Dr. Rick’s latest sketch has him signing those books.
My wife and I laugh at the interactions — the mom-like person dropping off “snackies.” the dad-like homeowner haggling over the book’s price — but our shared chuckles always diverge at the same moment.
When Dr. Rick says there is no need for a line monitor, my wife giggles and I don’t.
Why, Dr. Rick, are you doing this?
Lines matter.
Order matters.
This is a running joke for my wife. I’m the punchline.
Some spouses ask how the workday went. Mine asks about the line at Starbucks.
I respect the Starbucks crew at the downtown Raleigh Marriott because they adapt well to the ebb and flow of hotel guests each morning.
It’s the occasional guests who create Dr. Rick moments that make my day.
The ones who:
Form a line that meanders like a Slinky.
Go two or three across.
Cough but don’t cover.
Stand in line for 10 minutes and then have no clue what to order.
Take back-to-back-to-back calls on speaker mode. (I mean, dude, I can hear you. And we all know NOW why your girlfriend dumped you.)
The list of grievances has all the glamour of a parent-teacher conference these days. But before you quit reading and start mumbling #CrankyOldGeezer, there is a confession about to happen.
The news cycle? It’s less predictable and always meanders. The news stream is more of a raging river.
Chaos theorists — and we have our share in creaky Triangle campus offices — would struggle to predict how consumption behaviors are altered by when and where news happens.
I’d love to blame computer scientists at the University of Illinois for not thinking intently about the user experience (UX) when they built entrance ramps for the Information Superhighway, but maybe it’s our fault for not paying more attention to the possibilities of Max Headroom. Imagine Max, a 1980s nod to the mashup of persona with artificial intelligence, being our modern-day news concierge.
Here’s my lesson learned. It’s time to chill out about news and order. Become coolish Max The Editor or even steady Rick The News Coach.
That’s why I’m recommending three recent stories that you shouldn’t overlook:
Life sciences reporter Teddy Rosenbluth was among the first to report on the bed shortages in Triangle pediatric hospitals because of a surge in respiratory illnesses. You’ve likely seen this story grow into a national issue as other states report similar increases in what’s known as RSV.
We’ve used questionnaires from legislative candidates statewide to provide perspective on issues that should interest voters. We’ve written before about Project 170, an effort to provide this information for free to voter groups and media outlets throughout the state. State politics reporter Dawn Baumgartner Vaughan pored through the questionnaires to build a story on how lawmakers would spend the state’s tax revenue surplus tax.
All politics are local, and the future development of the PNC Arena area is hyper-local as it gets. Veteran sports journalists Chip Alexander and Luke DeCock provide context and impact on this ongoing issue that should get clarity after the November elections.
From there, meander wherever you want, especially on newsobserver.com. No line monitoring needed.
And if you want to snack while you read stories or watch videos, snackie away.
Bill Church is executive editor of The News & Observer. He prefers green tea in the morning.
