The Best Fan Theories About Every. Single. Track. From 'The Tortured Poets Department'

We're T-minus a few days away from Taylor Swift's The Tortured Poets Department dropping on April 19, and fans have already managed to analyze the (potential!) meaning behind every song on the album without it even coming out yet. And honestly, there's a lot of mind-blowing speculation to go through so let's dive straight into the brilliant brain of Taylor Swift.

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[table-of-contents] stripped

"Fortnight" (feat. Post Malone)

"Fortnight" is the first song on Tortured Poets, and there are a couple things to note about the word itself:

1. It's British. Much like a certain recent ex-boyfriend of Taylor Swift's.

2. It's shorthand for fourteen days.

3. It seems to have some significance to Taylor simply based on her tweeting this on April 5, 2024:

And thanks to all of the above, fans speculate that a fortnight (aka 2 weeks) was the amount of time it took for Taylor's relationship with Joe Alwyn to end.

Meanwhile, this person notes that in the two weeks before Joe and Taylor's breakup went public, she hinted at it by switching out "Invisible String" for "The 1" (a breakup song) on The Eras Tour—which we wrote about at the time over here.

"The Tortured Poets Department"

From the moment Taylor announced Tortured Poets, fans have been convinced the album's name (and this song) are direct references to Joe Alwyn's WhatsApp group with Paul Mescal and Andrew Scott called “The Tortured Man Club.”

As for how Joe feels about this, a source told the Daily Mail that "It’s undeniable that the name of her upcoming album is in reference to Joe’s WhatsApp group chat. Taylor knocked him for the name of this when they were together. She didn’t want people to think that it had anything to do with her, so when he spoke out about it, she was, of course, bothered."

"My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys"

Much like every other song on this album, fans think this one is—you guessed it!—about Joe Alwyn. Who, as one person pointed out, starred in The Favourite. A reach, yes, but one that I am very much invested in.

Interestingly, Taylor has played around with the use of "toy" in other songs. Just saying!

"Down Bad"

This one is a little confusing since most of the songs on Tortured Poets are assumed to be breakup-related, and the phrase "down bad" typically means, AHEM, "When someone is depressingly horny." Which I guess kinda makes sense if you're in the denial phase—which Tay actually wrote about while chatting about her "Denial" Apple Music playlist on April 5:

"This is a list of songs about getting so caught up in the idea of something that you have a hard time seeing the red flags, possibly resulting in moments of denial and maybe a little bit of delusion. Results may vary."

"So Long, London"

I mean, this one speaks for itself, right? Taylor spent a ton of time living with Joe Alwyn in London, and then they broke up and she booked it outta there.

More importantly: there are RUMORS that this song is 9:28. And fans think Joe and Taylor started dating on September 28 due to her singing "do you remember the 28th night of September" during a previous cover of Earth Wind & Fire's "September."

"But Daddy I Love Him"

'Kay, pivoting away from Joe real quick, fans actually think this song might be about...Harry Styles? Obviously, "but daddy I love him" is a line from The Little Mermaid, an iconic Disney movie that came out the year Taylor was born (1989). That said, the phrase has most recently been associated with Taylor's ex Harry, thanks to him wearing this amazing shirt.

Then again, Taylor might just be making a Little Mermaid reference. Or maybe Harry is featured on the track! Who knows!

"Fresh Out the Slammer"

Remember when Taylor told TIME: “Me locking myself away in my house for a lot of years—I’ll never get that time back." Yeah, she was with Joe Alwyn during that era, and "Fresh Out the Slammer" seems to be making...points.

Meanwhile, fans are just like:

"Florida!!!" (feat. Florence + the Machine)

Mmmky, this one is a little confusing. Not a lot of theories—mostly because the track's title doesn't give too much away—but! It's worth pointing out that Florence Welch told Billboard back in 2015 that Taylor helped her through a breakup, explaining, “Taylor said that you must sing about what’s happening in your life.”

Taylor herself even added, “She’s the most fun person to dance with at a party, but then five minutes later you find yourself sitting on the stairs with her having an in-depth conversation about love and heartbreak.”

"Guilty as Sin?"

Truly 👀 at what we uncovered from this one: Turns out the lyrics "guilty as sin" are included on Taylor's song "Carolina." And the rest of the verse is...um...telling as to what we can potentially expect from the song of the same name.

"Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?"

My personal theory? This is Taylor referencing the tired stereotype of her boyfriends being "scared" that she might write songs about them. Meanwhile, some fans are convinced that the recent eclipse-themed lyrics Tay teased are going to appear in this song.

"I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)"

Joe Alwyn can finally breathe a sigh of relief because Swifties think "I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)" is actually about Taylor's relationship with Matty Healy—which her fans were absolutely not here for.

"loml"

"loml" typically stands for "love of my life," but fans think there could be a different meaning behind the acronym. Like...loss of my life?

Or, even more interestingly, the song could transition from one meaning to another:

"I Can Do It With a Broken Heart"

Gonna go on a limb and predict this song will be about Taylor having to perform the Eras Tour with a broken heart.

FYI, Taylor named one of her Apple Music playlists after this song, writing, "Here we finally find acceptance and can start moving forward from loss or heartbreak. These songs represent making room for more good in your life, making that choice because a lot of time when we lose things, we gain things too."

"The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived"

'Kay, no one knows for sure that this song is about Joe Alwyn, but Twitter has used the opportunity to air its grievances and then some.

What we do know is there are some additional theories speculating that those aforementioned eclipse-themed lyrics could be about Joe ~blocking Tay's light~:

"The Alchemy"

Literally just going to leave these here while I put my blown mind back together:

"Clara Bow"

Clara Bow was a 1920s American silent film star, and get this: Taylor actually may have visually referenced her during Midnights.

Clara was extremely successful during her time in Hollywood, so perhaps this song will explore the impact of fame?

"The Manuscript" (Bonus Track)

This one is still completely open to interpretation and theories are pretty sparse. Me, personally? I like to think Taylor will be summarizing what she's learned about her experience with heartbreak in a wrap-up song.

"The Bolter" (Bonus Track)

Fans are deeply convinced this song is about Joe Alwyn thanks to a viral video of him running (sorry, ~bolting~) out of a building and into a car while they were dating:

Speaks for itself, next!

"The Albatross" (Bonus Track)

Swifties also think this song is about Joe thanks to Merriam-Webster defining an albatross as "something that causes persistent deep concern or anxiety" and "something that greatly hinders accomplishment."

An albatross is also a type of bird, and there's mythology about how they can fly for years without touching land:

"The Black Dog" (Bonus Track)

So interestingly, "the black dog" can be a metaphor for depression/sadness. But even more significantly, the meaning of "the black dog" in English folklore is "impending death."

And that's that! We'll update this when The Tortured Poets Department drops!

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