These Are The Best Dating Apps For Women In Their Forties, Fifties, And Beyond
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It’s no secret that online dating when you’re over 40 years old can be harder than it is for those in their twenties or thirties. Whether you’re divorced, you're widowed, or you just haven’t found your person yet, it’s more difficult to find someone you want to build a life with for several reasons.
For one, “it's very challenging to meet a romantic partner in person—the opportunities to do so are often more limited” than they are for younger groups, says Jess Carbino, PhD, a dating and relationship sociologist who has worked with Tinder and Bumble. It can also be tricky to find someone who’s in the same life phase as you, adds Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, a professor of sexual and interpersonal communications at California State University, Fullerton.
Luckily, online dating offers one crucial benefit: efficiency. Not only can it be time-consuming to meet people in person, but online dating's algorithms make it easy to meet compatible partners. The apps can weed out people who might not be a match anyway, based on their personality, dating preferences, and political and religious affiliations.
Meet the experts:
Jess Carbino, PhD, a dating and relationship sociologist who has worked with Tinder and Bumble.
Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, is a professor of sexual and interpersonal communications at California State University, Fullerton.
Another benefit? Dating apps can give you a sense of control. “Online dating makes [women] feel like they are in the driver's seat,” says Carbino.
Plus, “there's no other context where you are able to talk to ten men at the same time,” adds Suwinyattichaiporn. (True!) Having that number of options can help you learn more about your own likes, dislikes, and desires in a future partner, she explains.
Ahead, everything to know about dating over 40—plus, the best apps to download right now.
What To Know About Dating Over 40
After 40, “the overwhelming majority of [women] have had significant long-term relationships,” Carbino says. “For these women, the landscape looks different.” It’s more likely that they’ll know what they’re like in a relationship and what they want in a partner.
It’s also common for other potential partners to be divorced or have children. So, if you’re only interested in people who haven’t been married before, or people who don’t have children, think about why that is, and if it’s a dealbreaker.
Sometimes, societal expectations can deter people from wanting to date those with children, or those who have been married before. But it’s up to you to dig deep and get in touch with what you want. “When people tune into their own desires and passion and intuition, they'll realize sometimes these societal stigmas don't really matter,” Suwinyattichaiporn says.
Another thing to keep in mind: As a woman in your forties, you’re generally more successful career-wise and financially than you were in your twenties, Suwinyattichaiporn says. Because of this, she’s found that some of her clients like to take charge when it comes to online dating. While this can be a good thing (you know what you want, and what you deserve!), keep in mind that your potential partner might be feeling the same way, so you might have to learn to balance your equally assertive personalities.
Ultimately, the web (and the apps) can offer options and agency for people looking to jump back into ~the game~. With that in mind, here are 9 of the best dating apps and websites for women over 40, per relationship experts.
Best Overall Dating Site For People Over 40: eHarmony
Coming in hot at number one is eHarmony, which is great for "women in their forties that are looking for something a little bit more serious," says Suwinyattichaiporn. They have a very thorough questionnaire to build their algorithm and send you the most compatible matches possible, so it's "more serious" than other online dating apps, she says.
The app is pretty evenly split between men and women, says Suwinyattichaiporn. So it's more likely that the people on it are pretty serious, in comparison to male-dominated apps where people are just looking for hookups. And while it does cost money to join eHarmony, that's actually a pro. "When you're investing financially, I think it shows that you're already one step ahead in terms of what you're looking for and you're looking for something long-term," she says.
Pros:
Long questionnaire to match you with compatible partners
Because you have to pay, you're more likely to meet people who want a serious relationship
Cons:
The shortest membership option is six months
Price Options:
Premium Light: six months at $65.90 per month
Premium Plus: 12 months at 45.90 per month
Premium Extra: 24 months at $35.90 per month
Best Dating App For Cities: Hinge
If you want to expand your dating pool but not necessarily get too serious, Suwinyattichaiporn recommends Hinge. The app is "playful," she says, and gives a lot of opportunities to show your personality through their prompt and photo options in the profile settings. "It allows for people to show more humor and personality," she adds.
You can also play around with the locations you're willing to date in. She's also heard that the algorithm prioritizes bigger areas, like cities such as New York City, Los Angeles, or Austin. However, if you live in a smaller town, it might be harder to get matches.
Pros:
Easy to see other people's personalities
Great for those living in cities
Cons:
Some matches can only be reached with roses, which eventually start to cost money
Price Options:
Free with add-ons (Hinge Preferred Member status starts at $9.99 per month and goes up to $20)
Best Dating App For The Most Matches: Tinder
Yup, Tinder gets a bad rap, but it's here to stay, and proves well when it comes to quantity over quality. "Tinder allows you to see a lot of people," Suwinyattichaiporn says. "In dating, sometimes it's a numbers game." So, you might have to swipe left (which means pass) through a certain amount of people before you get to someone you're interested in. Buuut, that can also cause some dating app fatigue if you have to spend lots of time scrolling through people each day.
Still, if you're looking for something casual, Tinder is a solid choice. The app is easy to set up, and you can see people right away, Suwinyattichaiporn explains. "Statistically, there's also a lot more diversity on Tinder," she adds.
Pros:
Great to use when visiting a new city and meeting up with someone there
With more matches, you can evaluate what you like and dislike in potential partners
Cons:
It can be tiring to go through so many profiles
Cost:
Tinder Plus: $7.99 for one month, $4.00 monthly for six months, or $2.67 for 12 months
Tinder Gold: $24.99 for one month, $12.50 monthly for a six months, or $8.33 for 12 months
Best Dating App For Women Who Like To Take Charge: Bumble
Move aside, boys! Women take charge on Bumble, an app where only women can message first. This can weed out men you may not be interested in based on their profiles, since you don't even have to talk to them if you don't want to.
Plus, "Bumble's algorithm is more conservative, in terms of how many matches it shows and how many data points have to match in order for these profiles to be shown on your account," Suwinyattichaiporn says. So, your matches are legit based on science. Then, you can add in your own intuition when deciding who to message.
Pros:
Women message men first
Conservative algorithm, so you should be more compatible with your matches than on other dating apps
Cons:
One month of Bumble's add-ons is pricier than some other apps
Cost:
Free with add-ons
Bumble Boost: one week at $8.99, one month at $16.99, three months at 33.99, six months at $54.99
Bumble Premium: one week at $19.99, one month at $39.99, three months at $76.99, lifetime for $229.99
Best Exclusive Dating App: The League
If you're in your forties or older, you *may* want someone who's in the same boat as you, financially, or even better off. In that case, The League is about to become your bestie. First off, there's an application and waitlist—and while this may seem exclusive, it really does narrow down people who are seriously interested in finding a partner.
And it's a quite a financial investment to even get on the app, costing $299.99 at the lowest subscription tier. But, you're getting mostly college-educated matches, people with higher education and grad school degrees, and people who can afford to be on an app that costs hundreds of dollars a month. Your matches will likely "be people who are quite serious about finding someone," Suwinyattichaiporn says.
Pros:
You'll be matching with people who are likely well off in their careers and financially
You can pay for one month at a time
Cons:
Quite pricey
Cost:
Member: $299.99 monthly
Owner: $399.99 monthly
Investor: $999.99 monthly
Best Dating App For Non-Monogamous Relationships: Feeld
If you're into untraditional types of dating, Feeld might be for you—from non-monogamous to polyamorous people, there are tons of ways you can explore yourself on this app. "Even though we have this stereotype of women in their forties probably wanting to get serious, get married, have kids, that's not always true," Suwinyattichaiporn says.
Feeld has 20+ different sexuality and gender options, and is also really great if you're thinking you want to get a bit kinky. There are options for seeing how far away someone is, too, as well as when they were last active on the app.
Pros:
Great for exploring your sexuality
Inclusive and diverse
Cons:
Some features are off-limits for non-premium accounts
Cost:
Free with add-ons (premium features start at about $12 a month)
Best Dating App For All Kinds Of Relationships: OkCupid
For all types of relationships, from casual to serious, Suwinyattichaiporn recommends OkCupid. Plus, it's very LGBTQ-friendly! If you're interested in a relationship but you're not willing to commit to eHarmony, this is a great place to start.
The standard plan is free, and it includes personality quizzes, which can help you find better matches. However, to get the most out of the app, you might have to answer a lot of questions so the app can learn your personality.
Pros:
Awesome app if you're interested in a somewhat serious relationship
Includes fun personality quizzes
Cons:
A little more obscure than Tinder or Hinge
Cost:
Standard: free
Basic: one month at $29.99, three months at $19.99 monthly, or six months, or $14.99 monthly
Premium: one month at $39.99, three months at $26.66 monthly, or six months at $19.99 monthly
Incognito: one month at $19.99, three months at $14.99 monthly, or six months at $9.99 monthly
Best O.G. Dating App: Match
ICYDK, Match has been around since 1995, so it's the O.G. Plus, it "has had a long standing marketing research and product relationship with people in their forties," Carbino says. "They really understand their users and the experience of people who are in their forties."
Your profile can include up to 26 photos, plus, it allows you to select preferences in the person you're looking for. It's now in 24 countries and def helped kick off the dating app industry. Thanks, Match!
Pros:
Has been around (and yielded success!) for a long time
Your profile can hold up to 26 photos
Cons:
Not free
Cost:
Free with add-ons
Standard: from $21.84 per month
Premium: from $23.11 per month
Best Dating App For The LGBTQ Community: HER
HER has a great reputation for members of the LGBTQ community, specifically for queer women, says Carbino. "I've heard wonderful things about [HER] from people with whom I've done research," she says.
What's amazing about the app is that it has virtual community-building events, like movie nights, webinars, and other activities. It's inclusive and meant for queer women, lesbian, bi, nonbinary, trans, and gender non-comforming folks.
Pros:
Offers an incognito mode, so people can't see you without you liking their profile first
Inclusive community
Cons:
Pricier than other dating apps
Cost:
Premium: one month for $14.99, six months for $59.99, 12 months for $89.99
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