Where will you be on the Fourth of July?
Alex Jones thinks Americans will be fighting in a vicious battle over avocados and soy milk. The often disgraced conspiracy theorist and self-proclaimed "performance artist" claimed that Democrats are planning to launch a civil war on Independence Day in a tweet on Monday.
In the video Jones posted, he ranted that "establishment publications" that communicate with the government instead of the general public "began to develop a plan" using civil unrest and "racial strife" in order to "force Trump out."
OK, Alex. Maybe he misinterpreted the annual fireworks displays as "civil unrest."
But his attempt at riling up the public was turned into a patriotic meme as Twitter users imagined where they would be if a second civil war broke out.
Twitter users responded with the hashtag #SecondCivilWarLetters, joking about battling incels and searching for Starbucks safe houses.
Like the correspondence between soldiers and their loved ones during the "first" American Civil War, Twitter users kept their spouses and family members posted with updates from the front lines of battle.
It seems like everyone's running away to Canada.
The leftist battalions also made fun of the alt-right's fondness for tiki torches, which is just about as intimidating as their khakis.
War is rough, everyone. Where are the avocados??
They did it to own the libs, obviously.
It's all quiet on the far right front.
In the video he released with his tweet, Jones actually admitted: "I'm not that smart!"
"How did you know they were planning a civil war," Jones asked nobody in particular, before claiming that news organizations have been planning this "civil war" all along. "I told you! I'm not that smart!"
So no worries, you won't have to fight through Chick-Fil-A on the Fourth of July. Alex Jones himself said he isn't that smart.