Fair warning, NFL players: Bill Belichick isn’t really interested in whether you’re having fun.
Now, this isn’t exactly a new revelation; while the New England Patriots have won often and consistently, Belichick has never really looked all that happy while they’re doing it. Regular-season NFL games are like choking down broccoli for Belichick, and the Super Bowl victories are like, oh, broccoli-flavored ice cream.
Which is fine! If you want horseplay, go play baseball, where they while away the infinite number of games in a season by staging three-act plays in the dugout. This is football, son, and football is serious [expletive] business.
And yet, people still keep criticizing Belichick for being too cranky. A few days after former Patriots defensive end Cassius Marsh criticized the Belichick regime for its profound lack of “fun,” Belichick had an apt reply.
“Is it important for you for come up ways for players to feel like they’re enjoying themselves as they’re putting in the work that you ask them to?” a reporter asked during preseason practices this week. While the idea of Belichick getting a pony and a bounce house for his players to let off a little steam in is a delightful image, it ain’t happening.
Belichick, with a scowl that looked like he was being asked to sing “I’m A Little Teapot,” gave an uber-Belichickian response:
“We feel what’s important for us is to win,” he said. “That’s what we’re trying to do.”
Bill Belichick on the importance to make players feel like they’re enjoying themselves: “We feel like it’s important to us to win.” pic.twitter.com/22Axb9nRoj
It was a direct rejoinder to Marsh’s quotes on the Patriots, though you can imagine that Belichick doesn’t give a used mouthguard about Marsh’s comments. “They don’t have fun there,” Marsh told the San Francisco Chronicle. “There’s nothing fun about it. There’s nothing happy about it. I didn’t enjoy any of my time there, you know what I’m saying? It made me for the first time in my life think about not playing football because I hated it that much.”
You can see how those comments would go over with Belichick. And you can also see the results of his no-fun approach.
Bill Belichick through his career
Bill Belichick through his career
CIRCA 1995: Defensive Coordinator Bill Belichick of the New York Giants in this portrait circa 1985. Belichick was an assistant coach for the Giants from 1979-85. (Photo by Focus on Sport/Getty Images)
(Original Caption) February 5, 1991-Berea, Ohio: Bill Belichick talks to reporters as he is announced as Cleveland Browns head coach.
PITTSBURGH, PA - DECEMBER 18: Head coach Bill Belichick of the Cleveland Browns looks on from the sideline during a game against the Pittsburgh Steelers at Three Rivers Stadium on December 18, 1994 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The Steelers defeated the Browns 17-7. (Photo by George Gojkovich/Getty Images)
NEW ORLEANS - JANUARY 20: As Patriots coach Bill Parcells is the first one off the team bus, heading into practice at Tulane University, Bill Belichick, assistant head coach, follows behind. (Photo by Jim Davis/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)
27 Jan 1997: Defensive coordinator Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots prior to the Pats' 35-21 loss to the Green Bay Packers in Super Bowl XXXI at the Superdome in New Orleans, LA. (Photo by Sporting News/Sporting News via Getty Images)
HEMPSTEAD, NY - FEBRUARY 4: Bill Belichick, former assistant coach of the New England Patriots, appears at a press conference at the New York Jets training facility 04 February after being named the new head coach of the team. It was also announced that former Patriots head coach Bill Parcells has been hired as a consultant to the Jets . AFP PHOTO/Malcolm CLARKE (Photo credit should read MALCOLM CLARKE/AFP/Getty Images)
ORCHARD PARK, NY - DECEMBER 19: New York Jets' defensive coordinator Bill Belichick hugs Jets defensive end Anthony Pleasant at the conclusion of the Jets' 17-10 win over the Buffalo Bills to clinch the AFC East championship at Orchard Park, NY 19 December. Jets quarterback Vinny Testaverde threw two touchdown passes for the victory. (Photo credit should read WAYNE SCARBERRY/AFP/Getty Images)
HEMPSTEAD, NY - JANUARY 4: Head coach Bill Belichick of the New York Jets resigns from the job at a press conference just one day after accepting the position at Hempstead, New York on January 4, 2000. (Photo by Al Pereira/Getty Images)
FOXBOROUGH, MA - AUGUST 14: New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick talks with his starting quarterback Drew Bledsoe as back up John Friesz watches during Monday afternoon's practice session in Foxboro. (Photo by John Bohn/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)
Staff photo by Gregory Rec -- Thursday, January 31, 2001 -- Bill Belichick listens to a question during a press conference on Thursday. (Photo by Gregory Rec/Portland Press Herald via Getty Images)
CHARLOTTE, NC - AUGUST 18: New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick holds a sideline meeting with quarterbacks Tom Brady and Drew Bledsoe during the fourth quarter of Saturday's NFL preseason game with the Carolina Panthers played in Charlotte. (Photo by John Bohn/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)
PITTSBURGH, UNITED STATES: New England Patriots' players (L-R) Anthony Pleasant, Tebucky Jones, Ty Law and Tedy Bruschi douse head coach Bill Belichick (C) with ice water at the end of the AFC Championship game against the Pittsburgh Steelers 27 January, 2002, at Heinz Stadium in Pittsburgh. The Patriots beat the Steelers 24-17 to advance to the Super Bowl. AFP PHOTO/Don EMMERT (Photo credit should read DON EMMERT/AFP/Getty Images)
NEW ORLEANS, UNITED STATES: New England Patriots' quarterback Tom Brady celebrates with head coach Bill Belichick (R) after their win over the St. Louis Rams 03 February, 2002 in Super Bowl XXXVI in New Orleans, Louisiana. The Patriots defeated the Rams 20-17 for the NFL championship. AFP PHOTO/Jeff HAYNES (Photo credit should read JEFF HAYNES/AFP/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, : US President George W. Bush (L) and New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick (R) are joined by the 2002 National Football League Super Bowl Champions New England Patriots in the Rose Garden of the White House in Washington, DC 02 April 2002. Between Bush and Belichick is Patriots cornerback Terrell Buckley. AFP PHOTO Luke FRAZZA (Photo credit should read LUKE FRAZZA/AFP/Getty Images)
UNITED STATES - OCTOBER 19: Football: Closeup of New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick upset during game vs Miami Dolphins, Miami, FL 10/19/2003 (Photo by Tom DiPace/Sports Illustrated/Getty Images) (SetNumber: D72840)
UNITED STATES - DECEMBER 14: Football: Closeup of New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick during game with snow, weather vs Jacksonville Jaguars, Foxboro, MA 12/14/2003 (Photo by Damian Strohmeyer/Sports Illustrated/Getty Images) (SetNumber: X69824 TK5)
UNITED STATES - FEBRUARY 01: Football: Super Bowl XXXVIII, (L-R) New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick, David Givens, and Tedy Bruschi victorious after game vs Carolina Panthers, Houston, TX 2/1/2004 (Photo by Damian Strohmeyer/Sports Illustrated/Getty Images) (SetNumber: X70040 TK4 R6 F47)
HOUSTON, TX - FEBRUARY 1: Bill Belichick holds up the Lombardi Trophy at the end of the game. New England Patriots face the Carolina Panthers in Super Bowl XXXVIII at Reliant Stadium in Houston, TX on Feb. 1, 2004. (Photo by Barry Chin/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)
New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick holds the two Vince Lombardi Super Bowl trophies during a victory rally held for the team in Boston, February 3, 2004. The Patriots defeated the Carolina Panthers 32-29 on Sunday was their second Super Bowl victory in the last three years. REUTERS/Jim Bourg JRB
New England quarterback Tom Brady walks off the field past coach Bill Belichick in the third quarter against the Pittsburgh Steelers in Pittsburgh on October 31, 2004. REUTERS/Pam Panchak JC/JDP
New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick (L) and linebacker Willie McGinest celebrate after defeating the Pittsburgh Steelers 41-27 in the AFC Championship game in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, January 23, 2005. The Patriots will meet the Philadelphia Eagles in Super Bowl XXXIX in Jacksonville, Florida on February 6, 2005. REUTERS/Robert Galbraith JM
New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick celebrates a fourth quarter Patriots' pass interception by safety Rodney Harrison on a Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Donovon McNabb pass, during Super Bowl XXXIX in Jacksonville, Florida, February 6, 2005. The Patriots won their third Super Bowl in four seasons, defeating the Eagles, 24-21. REUTERS/Ray Stubblebine REUTERS GAC
New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick holds the Vince Lombardi Trophy as he celebrates his team's Super Bowl XXXIX victory over the Philadelphia Eagles in Jacksonville, Florida, February 6, 2005. REUTERS/Robert Galbraith PICTURES OF THE YEAR 2005
U.S. President George W. Bush (front row, 3rd L) poses for a group picture with players and officials from the New England Patriots football team, including team owner Robert Kraft (2nd L) and head coach Bill Belichick (front row C) during a welcoming ceremony in the Rose Garden of the White House, April 13, 2005. The Patriots won the 2005 Super Bowl earlier this year.
New England coach Bill Belichick watches from the sidelines during the first quarter against the Pittsburgh Steelers in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania September 25, 2005. The Patriots beat the Steelers 23-20. REUTERS/Pam Panchak
New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick reacts during the second quarter of the NFL's AFC Championship football game against the San Diego Chargers in Foxborough, Massachusetts January 20, 2008. REUTERS/Mike Segar (UNITED STATES)
New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick listens to questions during media day for the NFL's Super Bowl XLII in Glendale, Arizona January 29, 2008. REUTERS/Shaun Best (UNITED STATES)
New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick watches his team during the first session of their NFL football pre-season training camp in Foxborough, Massachusetts July 30, 2009. REUTERS/Brian Snyder (UNITED STATES SPORT FOOTBALL IMAGES OF THE DAY)
New England head coach Bill Belichick watches his team play against the Baltimore Ravens during the NFL AFC wild-card playoff football game in Foxborough, Massachusetts January 10, 2010. The Ravens won the game. REUTERS/Brian Snyder (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL)
New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick yells to his players during a break in the second quarter of their NFL football game against the Pittsburgh Steelers in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, October 30, 2011. REUTERS/Jason Cohn (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL)
New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick addresses the media at the University Place Conference Center in Indianapolis, Indiana, January 29, 2012. The New York Giants will play the New England Patriots in Super Bowl XLVI on February 5. REUTERS/Jeff Haynes (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL)
NFL coach Bill Belichick arrives with Linda Holliday at the Time 100 Gala in New York, April 24, 2012. The Time 100 is an annual list of the 100 most influential people in the last year complied by Time Magazine. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT SPORT FOOTBALL)
New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick speaks to players on the bench, against Buffalo Bills in the first quarter of their NFL football game in Orchard Park, New York September 30, 2012. REUTERS/Doug Benz (UNITED STATES - Tags: SPORT FOOTBALL)
Nov 23, 2014; Foxborough, MA, USA; New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick congratulates wide receiver Danny Amendola (80) after a touchdown during the second quarter against the Detroit Lions at Gillette Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Greg M. Cooper-USA TODAY Sports
Jan 28, 2015; Chandler, AZ, USA; New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick smiles as he answers questions during a press conference at Chandler Wild Horse Pass. Mandatory Credit: Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports
Feb 1, 2015; Glendale, AZ, USA; New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick (right) celebrates with quarterback Tom Brady (12) after defeating the Seattle Seahawks in Super Bowl XLIX at University of Phoenix Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports
U.S. President Barack Obama (C) holds a replica jersey he was given as he plays host to the reigning NFL Super Bowl champion New England Patriots, including head coach Bill Belichick (center L) and team owner Robert Kraft (center R), on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington April 23, 2015. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst
Nov 29, 2015; Denver, CO, USA; New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick before the game against the Denver Broncos at Sports Authority Field at Mile High. Mandatory Credit: Chris Humphreys-USA TODAY Sports
FOXBORO, MA - JANUARY 22: Head coach Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots is interviewed by Jim Nantz after his team victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers in the AFC Championship Game at Gillette Stadium on January 22, 2017 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. The New England Patriots defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers 36-17. (Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)