Boston park bans ‘Philadelphia-themed products’ before Super Bowl

If you thought Philadelphia was a tough place for opposing fans, try bringing a tub of Crisco into Boston.

Ahead of the Super Bowl, Boston issued ban on “Philadelphia-themed products” at the Esplanade, a popular park that follows the Charles River from the Museum of Science to the Boston University Bridge.

The hilarious ban outlaws Philadelphia sports apparel, actual bald eagles, cheesesteak sandwiches, cracked copper bells, soft pretzels, Philadelphia brand cream cheese, anything in the shade midnight green, mummers, Will Smith and Sylvester Stallone, and Crisco, one of the breakout stars of the NFL playoffs.

"We realized that appearing in a Super Bowl for only the third time — and first time since losing to the Patriots in 2005 — was disorienting for Philadelphia fans and that clarity on acceptable items to bring in our park should be offered," said Michael Nichols, executive director of the Esplanade Association, via WCVB5.

According to the station, the ban will be in effect until the "Duck Boats return to Boston’s streets after Super Bowl LII."

It seems like the entire nation outside of New England is rooting for the Eagles to knock off the Evil Empire. But the entire world is also piling on those wild animals affectionately known as Philadelphia sports fans, who were named the nation’s most hated in a 2015 Sports Illustrated poll.

Philly fans may be getting a bad rap because of a drunken, stupid few, combined with the colorfulness of their crimes.

But the same fans that have been trying to escape a perception stained by someone throwing a few snowballs at Santa Claus many years ago are keeping the myths alive in modern times. Philly fans are now burdened by members of their group getting caught punching police horses (twice), sliding down Crisco-covered lamp posts and running blindly into subway columns.

Say what you want about those terrible Eagles fans, but they haven’t stopped serving New England clam chowder in Philly.

They'll just dump it in your lap.