'Yes we cran': 9 dad jokes from Obama's final turkey pardoning

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Thanksgiving has gone to the birds.

For the eighth and final time, President Barack Obama has pardoned a pair of turkeys — Tater and Tot — before Thanksgiving, but, for the first time, he did so without his daughters Malia and Sasha.

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President Obama's final turkey pardon
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President Obama's final turkey pardon

Tater and Tot, the National Thanksgiving Turkey and its alternate, are shown to members of the media during a press conference held by the National Turkey Federation November 22, 2016 at the Willard Hotel in Washington, DC. The two turkeys will both be 'pardoned' following the presentation of the national turkey to U.S. President Barack Obama scheduled for tomorrow.

(Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

Tater and Tot, the National Thanksgiving Turkey and its alternate, are wheeled away on luggage carts following a press conference held by the National Turkey Federation November 22, 2016 at the Willard Hotel in Washington, DC. The two turkeys will both be 'pardoned' following the presentation of the national turkey to U.S. President Barack Obama scheduled for tomorrow.

(Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

U.S. President Barack Obama embraces his nephews Aaron and Austin Robinson after he pardoned the National Thanksgiving Turkey in a ceremony in the Rose Garden at the White House November 23, 2016 in Washington, DC. The President celebrated the 69th anniversary of the National Thanksgiving Turkey presentation. Hatched and raised in Iowa, the 2016 National Thanksgiving Turkey and its alternate will retire to 'Gobblers Rest' at Virginia Tech.

(Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Tater and Tot, the National Thanksgiving Turkey and its alternate, are placed into their transportation crates following a press conference held by the National Turkey Federation November 22, 2016 at the Willard Hotel in Washington, DC. The two turkeys will both be 'pardoned' following the presentation of the national turkey to U.S. President Barack Obama scheduled for tomorrow.

(Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

Tater and Tot, the National Thanksgiving Turkey and its alternate, are shown to members of the media during a press conference held by the National Turkey Federation November 22, 2016 at the Willard Hotel in Washington, DC. The two turkeys will both be 'pardoned' following the presentation of the national turkey to U.S. President Barack Obama scheduled for tomorrow.

(Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)

President Barack Obama pardons Tater, his last National Thanksgiving Turkey as President, during a ceremony in the Rose Garden at the White House in Washington, USA on November 23, 2016.

(Photo by Samuel Corum/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)

U.S. President Barack Obama delivers a speech filled with puns with his nephews Aaron and Austin Robinson before pardoning the National Thanksgiving Turkey during a ceremony in the Rose Garden at the White House November 23, 2016 in Washington, DC. The President celebrated the 69th anniversary of the National Thanksgiving Turkey presentation. Hatched and raised in Iowa, the 2016 National Thanksgiving Turkey and its alternate will retire to 'Gobblers Rest' at Virginia Tech.

(Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

President Barack Obama pardons Tater, his last National Thanksgiving Turkey as President, during a ceremony in the Rose Garden at the White House in Washington, USA on November 23, 2016.

(Photo by Samuel Corum/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)

President Barack Obama pardons Tater, his last National Thanksgiving Turkey as President, during a ceremony in the Rose Garden at the White House in Washington, USA on November 23, 2016.

(Photo by Samuel Corum/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)

U.S. President Barack Obama attends the pardoning of National Thanksgiving turkey accompanied by his nephews Aaron Robinson and Austin Robinson at the Rose Garden of the White House in Washington, U.S. November 23, 2016.

(REUTERS/Carlos Barria)

US President Barack Obama stands with his nephews Austin and Aaron Robinson as he pardons the National Thanksgiving Turkey in the Rose Garden of the White House in Washington, DC, on November 23, 2016. The President pardoned Tater and its alternate Tot, both 18-week old, 40-pound turkeys. As part of the naming process, Iowa school children submitted pairs of names for this years turkeys.

(NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/Getty Images)

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Obama has made a habit out of doing his best to embarrass them with terrible puns at previous turkey pardons and even the president himself on Wednesday admitted, "they just couldn't take my jokes anymore, they were fed up."

SEE ALSO: How you'd love to troll your Trump-supporting family this Thanksgiving and what to say instead

So, instead, the president was flanked by his two small nephews, Austin and Aaron Robinson, who, he said, "have not been turned cynical by Washington."

Even without his daughters, though, Obama unloaded a basket of puns and we at Mashable are here to rank them, from worst to first.

9. "Everyone knows that Thanksgiving traffic can put people in a fowl mood."

A joke about traffic plus the fowl/foul pun does not a good joke make, President Obama. Too easy. You can do better.

8. "I want to take a moment to recognize the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky, who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom and who met their fate with courage and sacrifice and proved that they weren't chicken."

This one was so bad, a child cried.

You can't defend this to a crying child, Mr. President.

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Obama awards Presidential Medals of Freedom
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Obama awards Presidential Medals of Freedom

US President Barack Obama presents actress and comedian Ellen DeGeneres with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor, during a ceremony honoring 21 recipients, in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC, November 22, 2016. 

(SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

U.S. President Barack Obama awards NBA star Michael Jordan the Presidential Medal of Freedom during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Carlos Barria)

US President Barack Obama presents vocalist and musician Diana Ross with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor, during a ceremony honoring 21 recipients, in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC, November 22, 2016.

(SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

U.S. President Barack Obama awards actor and director Robert Redford the Presidential Medal of Freedom during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Yuri Gripas)

U.S. President Barack Obama awards broadcaster Vin Scully the Presidential Medal of Freedom during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Yuri Gripas)

US President Barack Obama presents actress Cicely Tyson with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor, during a ceremony honoring 21 recipients, in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC, November 22, 2016.

(SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

Actor Robert Redford, Diana Ross and others wait before US President Barack Obama presents the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor, during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC, November 22, 2016.

(SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

US President Barack Obama presents musician Bruce Springsteen with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor, during a ceremony honoring 21 recipients, in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC, November 22, 2016.

(SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

WASHINGTON, DC - NOVEMBER 22: Robert DeNiro embraces Ellen DeGeneres after she was presented with the 2016 Presidential Medal Of Freedom at the White House on November 22, 2016 in Washington, DC.

(Photo by Leigh Vogel/WireImage)

U.S. President Barack Obama speaks at a ceremony awarding the Presidential Medal of Freedom to various receipients in the East Room of the White House in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Yuri Gripas)

US President Barack Obama presents actor RobertDe Niro with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor, during a ceremony honoring 21 recipients, in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC, November 22, 2016.

(SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

U.S. President Barack Obama presents the Presidential Medal of Freedom to actor Tom Hanks during a ceremony in the White House East Room in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Yuri Gripas)

US President Barack Obama reaches up to NBA star Kareem Abdul-Jabbar as he presents him with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor, during a ceremony honoring 21 recipients, in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC, November 22, 2016.

(SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)

US First Lady Michelle Obama looks on as President Barack Obama presents the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor, during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC, November 22, 2016.

(NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/Getty Images)

U.S. President Barack Obama presents the Presidential Medal of Freedom to Saturday Night Live creator and producer Lorne Michaels during a ceremony in the White House East Room in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Yuri Gripas)

US President Barack Obama speaks as former NBA basketball player Michael Jordan looks on before being presented with the Presidential Medal of Freedom, the nation's highest civilian honor, during a ceremony honoring 21 recipients, in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC, November 22, 2016.

(NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/Getty Images)

U.S. President Barack Obama awards the President of Miami Dade College Eduardo Padron the Presidential Medal of Freedom during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Carlos Barria)

Singer Diana Ross is hugged by U.S. President Barack Obama before he awards her a Presidential Medal of Freedom during a ceremony in the White House East Room in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Yuri Gripas)

Musician Bruce Springsteen thanks U.S. President Barack Obama for his Presidential Medal of Freedom during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Yuri Gripas)

NBA star Michael Jordan and musician Bruce Springsteen attend the Presidential Medal of Freedom awards in the East Room of the White House in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Carlos Barria)

Comedian Ellen DeGeneres applauds actor Robert DeNiro at a ceremony awarding the Presidential Medal of Freedom in the East Room of the White House in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Carlos Barria)

U.S. President Barack Obama awards artist and designer Maya Lin the Presidential Medal of Freedom during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Carlos Barria)

U.S. President Barack Obama presents the Presidential Medal of Freedom to physicist Ricahrd Garvin during a ceremony in the White House East Room in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Yuri Gripas)

U.S. President Barack Obama awards polymath scientist Richard Garwin the Presidential Medal of Freedom during a ceremony in the East Room of the White House in Washington, U.S., November 22, 2016.

(REUTERS/Yuri Gripas)

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7. "They will go to their new home at Virginia Tech, which is, admittedly, a bit hokey."

You probably only got this joke if you went to Virginia Tech or if you're a big college sports fan. It's not bad, really, just too narrow of an audience.

6. "That's worth gobbling about."

Eh, a little forced and we're pretty turkey-heavy with the jokes this year. Nothing about ham or mashed potatoes?

5. "A corny-copia of dad jokes about turkey."

This one is middle of the road but gets points for being self-aware. Or maybe the fact that it's self-aware actually makes it worse?

4. "We're not leaving any room for leftovers"

This was in reference to this being his final turkey pardoning and it's hard to think of Donald Trump being so gregarious in this role.

"Tater, you are a failing turkey. The worst. We will not pardon you. SAD!"

Obama's bad dad jokes will be missed.

3. "We should also make sure everyone has something to eat on Thanksgiving, except for the turkeys because they're already stuffed."

On its surface, this doesn't seem that great. But once you let it sink in, you realize how dark meat it is (get it? no?) and you have to hand it to the president for sneaking it in.

2. "No way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey."

This one came as Obama promised to continue the tradition of using terrible puns even when the family returned to be private citizens, so it's fun to imagine the Obama girls, fully grown, still suffering from their dad's eye-rollers.

It's also sneaky good because it harkens back to the president's well-known smoking habit he was forced to give up upon entering the White House.

1. "Yes we cran."

As the president himself said, yes, that was good. It wasn't just a bad pun about Thanksgiving food, it was a terrific call-back to Obama's 2008 optimism-fueled presidential campaign. And it was a terrific way to cap off eight years of terrible puns to go along with the silliest of presidential duties.

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