Bride shares outrage after wedding location causes black bridesmaid to drop out of ceremony
A bride is stirring controversy after sharing her outrage over the reason one of her bridesmaids chose to drop out of her wedding.
The unnamed, 26-year-old woman, originally shared her frustration on Reddit's r/relationships forum. In a post that has since been deleted but reshared on Twitter, the bride revealed one of her bridesmaids, who is black, wrote her a message explaining that she could not attend the ceremony — which was being held at a plantation.
"I love you a lot but I have to bow out from being a bridesmaid," the 25-year-old bridesmaid, who the post identified as "J," wrote.
The bride said she was excited to host her wedding at the"incredibly beautiful plantation,” which she had “admired since I was a little girl." Her bridesmaid, however, didn't feel the same way.
"I told you then that I could not be a part of a wedding that happened at a plantation," J wrote. "I firmly believe that all plantations should be museums that highlight the atrocious injustices towards my community."
"We talked in great detail about exactly why I felt that way you told me that your love for me outweighed your desire to have a wedding at [plantation] and I wouldn’t have to worry about it," J continued.
J reportedly went on to explain that she believes being seen at a plantation could negatively affect her career — a point the bride took issue with.
"How do I convince her that she’s being ridiculous and that what happened there was a long time ago and has no bearing on my wedding? And that any colleague who would judge her is incredibly narrow-minded and shouldn’t be paid any attention to?" the woman wrote.
The viral post spread widely across Twitter last year and is continuing to receive significant attention on social media and from online media sites. Commenters on both Reddit and Twitter took issue with the bride's outrage, stating that J was justified in being offended by the venue.
"'Happened a long time ago'... the white privilege..." one Twitter user wrote. "The fact that you don't understand why she couldn't come to the wedding is baffling."
"My Jewish friend refused to be my bridesmaid just because I chose a lovely former Nazi concentration camp as the venue. How do I convince her she’s being too sensitive?" one Reddit user ironically commented on the now-deleted post.
Many users also praised J's handling of the situation, as the bridesmaid apparently offered to still pay for half of her dress, in addition to saying she "would love to still be involved" in other wedding activities, such as bridal shower and bachelorette party.
"Wow. So your friend wrote you this lovely letter, offered to pay for a dress she isn’t going to wear, and still wants to attend your other wedding activities. You lied to her face about the venue thinking she’d change her mind..." another Reddit commenter wrote. "You don’t deserve her friendship."
Still, some were more kind to the bride, suggesting that she should just accept the situation and move on.
"You will have to accept that you will not be able to change her mind in this," another commenter wrote. "So thank her for being open, let her know there will be no hard feelings and she’s still welcome to attend the bachelorette party, etc."