Man's mother slams him as being 'very rude and cold' for setting newborn visitation rules
A man took to Reddit to ask fellow users whether he was in the wrong for setting visitation rules for his newborn son.
Late last month, the anonymous father, who goes by Mission_Ear on the social media platform, revealed that he and his wife had a baby boy. As an anxious parent, he said that he held off visitations for the first day before sending an invitation to friends and family to visit his son.
"I asked that nobody sick come to visit, and no children under 18, since schools are a breeding ground for viruses," the man wrote. "As well, because my mother is a heavy perfume user, I made a general note asking everyone to either go with light or no fragrance. There were some other things I threw in, asking people to let me know what time they'd like to come, keep it between 9-5, stay for an hour or less, no gifts since it'll be a hassle to bring home, and try to keep visits to 3-4 people at a time."
Though the man admitted that he felt "overbearing," his wife allegedly supported his demands.
At one point, the man's parents dropped by the hospital as his aunt, her husband and two adult children were still visiting the baby, the Reddit user said. After his aunt and her family decided to cut their visitation short, the man's mother purportedly took the boy and undid his swaddle.
The Reddit user went on to describe how his in-laws came to visit an hour later with one of their grandchildren. When his wife told her parents that the child could not come in due to his age, the child allegedly cried.
"[My mother-in-law] starts to scold us for forbidding children, so my father pipes up saying that we're being too coddling," the man wrote.
The user's mother also apparently chimed in.
"Then, my mother starts up and tells us that we've been very rude and cold and says that as grandmother, it's her right to visit the baby when she pleases and she shouldn't have to 'RSVP' to her grandson's birth," he wrote. "She calls me impolite for sending out a 'demanding' email like I did and insists that if I regulate my son as strictly as I did his visitings, he'll grow up resenting my wife and I."
The man and his wife proceeded to tell his parents to leave, causing both his mother and his mother-in-law to scold him.
"My wife has changed her tune about the whole thing and thinks I was being too combative," he wrote. "I really don't think I was that wrong in exercising my boundaries, and I think that them not listening is proof it was needed."
Responses to the user's post were mixed.
"Your kid, your rules," one person wrote. "You and your wife need to have a serious conversation about expectations in dealing with family and how best to project a united front while dealing with them."
Some were less forgiving.
"These are all reasonable requests outside of a demanding email, but it isn't very appropriate for communicating to the grandparents," another replied.
Others said all the parties involved were at fault.
"They were disrespectful and the grandma doesn't have the right to see her grandkid as she pleases, but you WERE cold and [slightly] demanding," one Redditor wrote. "An email may work for extended family and acquaintances, but for the grandparents, immediate family and close friends it's inappropriate. Couldn't you have called them about this?"