Were Ross and Rachel on a break? Was there room for Jack on Rose's plank? Was it rude of Carrie's friend to ask her to take her shoes off at a party? OK, so we'll never learn the answers to those first two questions, but we gotta know: Is it bad manners to ask guests to take off their shoes in your home? Or totally OK? Here, we look at both sides of the argument before turning to etiquette experts for the final verdict.
It's your home: You should do as you damn well please. (Because if you can't be yourself in your own home then where on earth can you?) Besides, the outside world is pretty gross. Cities are filled with all kinds of germs and nasties (oh hey, pizza rat). It doesn't matter if your abode features brand new white carpeting or linoleum peeling at the corners—it's completely reasonable to request that guests don't bring outside filth into your home.
No, It's Rude to Ask Guests to Remove Their Shoes
Imagine this: Cracked heels, chipped toenails and mismatched socks all on show while everyone sips rosé and politely pretends not to notice. (And that's the best case scenario—let's not even think about the potential for bunions, hammer toes and athlete's foot.) This is a home, not airport security. Sure, the outside world may be slightly dirtier but there's an easy fix—get a doormat. Besides, if you care more about the carpet than the company then maybe you shouldn't be inviting people over.
RELATED: The perfect wines to bring as gifts:
50 great-tasting red wines under $20
50 great-tasting red wines under $20
CLINE ZINFANDEL ($14)
Cline Cellars has been making rich and indulgent wines in the family tradition from Sonoma, California, since the 1990s. Its entry-level zinfandel offers plenty of ripe berry and spice flavor. It is smooth enough to enjoy on its own and powerful enough to pair with steak.
CRANE LAKE CABERNET SAUVIGNON ($6)
This California line represents one of the best values in domestic wines. The cabernet is round and smooth, with supporting notes of raspberries, blackcurrants, and hints of earth. It is a cheerful wine that suits any occasion, be it casual or fancy
BODEGAS LUZÓN VERDE ($8)
An organic wine from Jumilla, Spain, this all-purpose red has a medium body, flavors of spicy red fruit, and notes of earthy foliage, baking spices, and ripe red berries. Soft enough to be enjoyed without food, it also pairs well with grilled meats and hearty vegetables.
QUPÉ CENTRAL COAST SYRAH ($18)
This is an elegant wine with deeply concentrated flavors of black cherry, red plums, and spice-laden cassis. The Central Coast of California is known for producing wines of considerable heft, and this full-bodied wine is typical of the bold style.
FOXGLOVE CABERNET SAUVIGNON ($15)
Made from grapes sourced from different subregions within California's Central Coast, the entire Foxglove line is quick to sell out, thanks to its reputation for delicious, high-value wines. The cabernet sauvignon is typical of the region, with notes of currants and green bell pepper.
EMILIO MORO FINCA RESALSO ($18)
Emilio Moro is a well-known producer from the Ribera del Duero region of Spain, famous for powerful and luscious red wines that are best paired with hearty meals. This wine is in line with the traditional style, offering big flavors of chocolate, blackberries, and hot and sweet spices, with a long, velvety finish.
MULDERBOSCH CABERNET SAUVIGNON ROSÉ ($13)
From one of the most popular producers from South Africa, this cabernet sauvignon rosé has been a popular bottle since it was first released in 1999. It's a particularly full-flavored rosé with tons of berry and cherry flavors.
COLUMBIA CREST GRAND ESTATES CABERNET SAUVIGNON ($12)
Situated along the Columbia River in Washington state, Columbia Crest produces wines that have won awards from Wine Spectator, among others, and has a deserved reputation for excellence. This is a full red wine with plenty of spice and fruit.
CASTLE ROCK MENDOCINO PINOT NOIR ($12)
From Mendocino, California, this medium-bodied pinot noir is one of Castle Rock's top sellers and widely recognized as a good value in domestic pinot noir. The flavors include bright cherry, hints of violet, and plenty of earthy herbs. Delicious on its own, it would also pair well with duck or turkey.
CASAMATTA ROSSO ($14)
From producer Bibi Graetz, this juicy wine from Tuscany, Italy, is an old standby for inexpensive, high-quality red. Made from 100 percent sangiovese grapes, it has a tart and tangy profile full of red fruit and spice that is begging to be paired with red sauce, from pizza to lasagna to mushroom bolognese.
LINDEMAN'S BIN 40 MERLOT ($7)
Hailing from southeastern Australia, this cheap and cheerful wine is an all-purpose, easy-drinking red. Round and smooth, in true merlot fashion, it features ripe red berry flavors with some herbal notes underneath. Keeping a couple of these on hand for impromptu occasions is always a good idea.
RAVENSWOOD VINTNERS BLEND OLD VINE ZINFANDEL ($11)
Ravenswood is known for its zinfandel, which gets its powerful kick from the old vines from Sonoma, California. In this yearly release, flavors of blueberry, black cherry, chocolate, and spice are all rolled up into a velvety-smooth, full body. Open it on a cozy night by the fire.
MONTINORE ESTATE PINOT NOIR ($16)
Arguably the best value in Oregon's Willamette Valley, this entire line of wines is stellar. The pinot noir is a blend of styles, incorporating the elegance and lighter body associated with traditional European wines as well as the full flavor of cherries, flowers, and earth characteristic of domestic pinot noir.
LOUIS JADOT BEAUJOLAIS-VILLAGES ($12)
A tried-and-true classic, Louis Jadot's Beaujolais-Villages is a standard among wine enthusiasts. The medium-bodied red is full of plum, berry, spice, and earth flavors that combine to make a balanced wine. It is smooth and light enough to stand alone and plenty flavorful enough to go with food.
REGALEALI NERO D'AVOLA ($14)
From producer Tasca d'Almerita in Sicily, this wine is one of many bottles proving that the Italian island is home to some of the very best wine values worldwide. The bright juicy wine is medium-bodied with considerable cherry and raspberry flavors. A long finish highlights the silky texture.
Argentinian malbec has become a darling of the wine world, and this example from Mendoza delivers on every expectation. It's a big, plush wine full of dark fruit flavors with undertones of chocolate and smoky earth. Enjoy it alongside hearty fare in cool weather.
CONO SUR BICICLETA PINOT NOIR ($10)
This all-purpose, medium-bodied red is made with sustainably grown grapes from Chile. The flavors are light and typical of the variety, offering hints of cherries and red berries. It works especially well chilled, in warm weather or with spicy foods.
BOB'S PINOTAGE ($9)
A South African specialty, the pinotage grape makes a hefty red wine that is earthy, spicy, and totally dry. This inexpensive bottle is a good, full-flavored introduction to the variety. Proceeds support HIV/AIDS awareness and research.
KINGSTON ESTATE CABERNET SAUVIGNON ($15)
This Australian wine has undertones of smoky berries, chocolate, and earthy herbs like rosemary. The texture is bold and soft, giving this full-bodied wine a velvety feel. It's meant to pair with roasts and steaks.
DINGAČ PLAVAC MALI ($15)
The plavac mali grape is a Croatian relative of zinfandel, offering many of the same flavors. This medium-bodied wine is perfumed with blueberries, mace, nutmeg, and juicy red fruit. Enjoy it on its own or with food, room temperature or chilled.
MARIUS GRENACHE SYRAH ($10)
This blend of syrah and grenache comes from Michel Chapoutier, a well-known producer of French wines from the Rhône Valley. A silky body unveils flavors of spicy berries, pink peppercorn, and wild mountain herbs. True to its European heritage, this wine is best served with food.
INDABA MOSAIC RED ($12)
Indaba is a consistently inexpensive and good-quality producer of red and white wines from South Africa. In this red blend, Bordeaux grape varieties create a supple, smooth, and rich wine with flavors of cranberry and baking spices.
BANDIT MERLOT ($10)
Packed in environmentally friendly Tetra Pak containers, this crisp and easy-drinking California wine comes in a liter size. That's 25 percent larger than a regular bottle, making the savings even more pronounced. The flavor profile is supple, round, and smooth.
BIG HOUSE RED ($10)
This juicy and powerful California wine gets its name from a nearby prison yard. The flavors are bright and concentrated, with tons of juicy cherry and raspberry flavors, hints of chocolate, and earthy elements that linger on the finish.
CHONO CABERNET SAUVIGNON ($11)
Chilean wine is becoming known for sophisticated flavors and low prices, and Chono cabernet is a good example why. This full-bodied red is laden with flavors of tobacco, cocoa, and black raspberries, with distinct green pepper notes coming through. This is the bottle for a steak dinner.
JELU MALBEC ($12)
Having a good go-to malbec is important, because it has become one of the most popular varieties in the United States. This example from an organic Argentinian producer delivers the full body, dark fruit flavors, and silky tannins that people have come to love in malbec.
BOGLE PETIT SYRAH ($9)
Petit syrah is a variety of grape that makes intense wines with a deep concentration of ripe plums and berry flavors along with considerable spice. This California version does not disappoint, offering all the typical flavors in an inexpensive bottle.
UNDERWOOD PINOT NOIR ($14)
Inexpensive pinot noir can be difficult to find from any country. This Oregon producer prides itself on upholding strict quality standards while creating an affordable, everyday wine. The pinot noir has flavors of cherries and flowers, a medium body, and a silky finish.
VRAC CÔTES DU RHÔNE ($12)
Wines from the Rhône region in central France are known for being easy drinking and pairing well with a variety of foods. This one is a medium-bodied wine with juicy red fruit flavors, undertones of cinnamon, and a balanced, dry finish.
This red blend from the Minervois region of France is a nice change of pace from many other inexpensive options. The flavors are bold and rich with notes of lilac and violets alongside ripe and spicy fruits. The producer's biodynamic practices add a lot of character.
GNARLY HEAD OLD VINE ZIN ($12)
A classic California producer, Gnarly Head has an entire line of wines made from old vines that provide depth of character and concentration. No matter what the vintage, this zinfandel is a full-bodied wine that leads with spicy blueberries and blackberries and notes of dark roasted coffee.
HEDGES CMS RED ($10)
In production since 1987, this blend from Washington state is a standby for delicious red wine at a good price. It's a structured, balanced wine with black and red fruit flavors, bright acidity, and a smooth, medium body.
LA VIEILLE FERME ROUGE ($8)
This medium-bodied, spicy, and fruity wine is an easy-drinking all-purpose red. Tasty on its own, it also pairs well with many types of food, from burgers to Thai. The blend of grapes from the Rhône region of France creates a smooth texture.
GOULEYANT CAHORS MALBEC ($14)
This medium-bodied wine from producer Georges Vigoureux comes from the homeland of malbec, in southwestern France. It is similar to malbec from Argentina but with a slightly lighter profile and a touch more elegance, rather than boldness. The flavors play between juicy blackberries and baking spices.
SAN FELICE IL GRIGIO CHIANTI CLASSICO ($19)
Chianti is one of those wines that will always be a classic. Whether it's for casual pizza night or homemade eggplant parm, this wine is an inexpensive go-to for Italian fare made with red sauce. The medium-bodied wine balances traditional flavors of cherries, spices, and earthy herbs.
IL FAGGIO MONTEPULCIANO D'ABRUZZO ($11)
From the Italian wine region Abruzzo, this is an easy-drinking wine that suits most any occasion. It's a crowd-pleaser with a medium body, flavors of red fruit, and hints of spice.
RED TRUCK CALIFORNIA RED ($10)
In this blend, five grapes from various regions in California come together to create a well-integrated and drinkable red wine. Flavors of red fruit and baking spices and a velvety finish characterize this anytime wine.
VERAMONTE MERLOT ($10)
The flavors of this soft wine from Chile are characteristic of merlot, offering ripe plum, blackberries, and a smooth, velvety texture. Hand harvesting ensures only high-quality grapes go into the wine.
PORTILLO MALBEC ($9)
Not all malbec from Mendoza, Argentina, is created equal, and the Portillo from Bodegas Salentein has been recognized as one of the top examples. Bold flavors of cocoa, coffee, and tobacco are complemented by juicy dark fruit flavors and a smooth finish.
LIBERTY SCHOOL CABERNET SAUVIGNON ($16)
This straightforward cabernet is spice forward, with elements of black peppercorn, menthol, and cinnamon all wrapped up in fine tannins that are satiny on the palate. This wine from Paso Robles, California, has been given high scores by Wine Spectator for its quality.
GEYSER PEAK CABERNET SAUVIGNON ($14)
Having made appearances on various lists for its quality and value, Geyser Peak sets a benchmark for inexpensive wines that taste good. The cabernet sauvignon is a blend of flavors, mixing blackberry preserves with herbs like rosemary and thyme and a hint of nuttiness on the back end.
WOLFFER ESTATE CLASSIC RED ($18)
This is one of the few New York wines that sells for less than $20 and maintains a high level of quality. A food-friendly red from a leading producer, it's rich with smoky cedar notes that mingle with the intense red fruit and overall smooth and dry palate.
FONTANAFREDDA BRICCOTONDO BARBERA ($12)
Barbera is one of the premier grapes from the Piedmont region of Italy. While most of the wines from this area are quite expensive, this juicy, medium-bodied wine allows drinkers to savor the flavors of the region for less.
D'ARENBERG STUMP JUMP SHIRAZ ($13)
When grown in Australia, the syrah grape is called shiraz and makes a richer, fuller wine than syrah from other areas of the world. This example is full-bodied and full of plush red and black fruit flavors, along with baking spices like cinnamon, nutmeg, and mace.
CANTINA ZACCAGNINI MONTEPULCIANO D'ABRUZZO ($14)
This traditional Italian wine still comes with a straw and twig decoration that people who have been drinking wine for 30 years will remember. With easygoing flavors of red raspberry, baked cherry, and herbal undertones, it's a crowd-pleasing choice for any occasion.
HESS SELECT CABERNET SAUVIGNON ($13)
This sturdy wine from California can be a workhorse during any season. The full body encompasses traditional flavors of red and black currants, blackberries, and hints of green peppers that are classic and balanced.
MEIOMI PINOT NOIR ($14)
A fuller style of pinot noir from California, this wine is for those who love the delicate floral and cherry flavors of pinot but want a rich and bold wine. The silky body continues to develop and unveil flavors of mushroom and earth as the bottle breaths.
NOVECENTO MALBEC ($9)
A classic Argentinian malbec from producer Dante Robino, this red is full-bodied, with smooth flavors of blackberry, black cherries, and juicy plums. Undertones of cocoa powder and hints of cayenne pepper keep the overall profile dry and well-matched for rich meat dishes.
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The Expert Opinions
Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette, weighs in: "A guest (whether in a restaurant or a home) should always practice the customs and culture of the place that they are in. In other words, it's perfectly acceptable to ask guests to remove their shoes." But here's the catch—if you ask a guest to take off their shoes, you should let them know beforehand or offer them a pair of house shoes to wear.
Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick, founder of The Etiquette School in New York, says there is one notable exception to the rule: If you're hosting a party where guests will be wearing suits and dresses, then the "no shoes allowed" rule is, well, not allowed. "For parties with a guest list that includes people who are not close friends, it is rude and inconsiderate to ask guests to remove their shoes before coming inside the house." She continues, "The cost of having carpets and floors cleaned the day after the party should be factored into the cost of the party."