Man sues Burger King for free Whoppers for life after being trapped inside bathroom for an hour

If one of your worst nightmares includes being locked in the bathroom of a fast-food restaurant with nothing to pry you out but a measly fly swatter and your otherwise dormant belief in a higher power, just know that for someone less fortunate than you, this was an actual reality.

But at least for Curtis Brooner, justice was served — except not exactly in the form of burgers for life as he had hoped.

Brooner, 50, was dining inside a Portland, Oregon location of Burger King on December 15th when he went to the bathroom, never to return — okay he retuned, but a full hour later.

Brooner spent the hour trapped inside waiting for a locksmith and claims that he heard employees laughing outside at his misfortune, according to KPTV.

He also claims to have cut open his hand in an attempt to use a fly swatter that the Burger King employees had slid under the door to him (which, in the end, was rendered useless.)

If you’re laughing by this point in the story, Brooner’s attorney, Michael Fuller, would like you to know:

“There are funny elements of the case, but there is nothing funny about being locked in a dank bathroom for an hour.”

Upon being freed from the bathroom, the manager of the restaurant reportedly offered Brooner a pretty sweet and greasy deal: Free meals for life inside that Burger King.

This story is truly taking ‘Have it your way’ to a whole other level.

Brooner continued to eat at that Burger King (sometimes up to two times a day_ for the next 13 days until he was denied his free eats by a regional manager on December 28th.

According to VC Star, employees told Brooner that a district manager had called the deal off.

Unwilling to let go of his Whopper winnings, Brooner filed a civil suit with the Multnomah County Circuit Court in an attempt to either restore his free meals for life or to be paid out the cost of one free Whopper per week for the ‘probable remainder of his lifetime’, as reported by KATU.

Fuller and Brooner calculated that Brooner will live to about 72 years old, minus five years off of the average lifespan because after all the man was going to Burger King up to twice a day.

One Whopper clocks in at $7.89 — multiply that by the number of weeks in the next 22 years and Burger King is looking at a $9,026 payout to Brooner (should he win the case.)

If you thought there was nothing more depressing than calculating the inevitability that you’re probably going to die in the next 22 years, imagine doing that in order to win a lawsuit over Whoppers.

Actually maybe that isn’t depressing, but rather quite genius — anyway, we digress.

According to the Willamette Week, Fuller and Brooner aren’t going down without a fight.

In the hard-hitting words of Fuller:

‘We have evidence to support our claim. And a deal is a deal.’

Looks like these Burger Kings are coming for the crown.