Yelp review goes viral after man has a borderline existential crisis in a cafe

Buckle up, because this is sure to be a deep, dark journey!

Review sites are great — they’re pretty much one of the main ways people decide which restaurants and bars to go to these days.

SEE ALSO: Restaurant owner has a hilarious response to rude TripAdvisor review

And at the forefront of those review sites is Yelp, which is where our existential journey begins.

Yelp Elite user named ‘Paul A.’ (who gets bonus points for quoting Julia Child in his user bio … we see you, Paul) visited a coffee shop in upstate New York back in February 2017.

It was here, at Twin Peaks Coffee and Donuts in Tannersville, New York that Paul left a five-star rating (the best rating a business can receive on the website) and had a plethora of donuts alongside … well … A LOT of feelings.

Paul’s review of the “cafe-slash-antique store-slash-cave of dreams” (really setting the scene) started off positive, as expected for such a high rating.

Paul shared that he enjoyed a bountiful variety of different flavored donuts that were all “really good” along with some “good homefries” which would make one think that everything is just, overall, pretty good.

Things, however, seemed to take an existential turn when Paul entered the the antique store that is attached to the cafe and purchased an “antique fly made out of peacock feathers and polar bear fur.”

Photo credit: Yelp

Let’s take a deep dive, shall we?

“It is amazing there could be places like this, where moments seem to be solid, as if they were not something that immediately passes but somehow permanent. Is there some way we could live that would let us experience all of life this way?”

Nope, you didn’t accidentally open up an Emerson excerpt.

Paul A. actually just went there.

Is everyone okay? Is Paul okay?

He continues on:

“A small animal I love is dying, right now, and I know the answer is no.”

Okay, verdict is in! Paul A. is by no means okay! 

Side note: Is the animal okay? Where is this animal? Did the animal survive? Why are we talking about death when we came here to talk about donuts?

Let’s continue:

“There is no way to make life a series of small objects to be put on a shelf. The moments of our lives rise up like smoke all around us.”

WHAT IS GOING ON! 

We came here to read about the samoa donut, PAUL! Why are we now sitting here contemplating the last two decades of our lives through dissociative haze!

Paul redeems himself by ending on a somewhat hopeful (albeit, still extremely depressing) note:

“But then I hold the little frame, half-broken, and inside the fly some old man made decades ago, and I think 'maybe.'" 

We need a drink. 

And a donut.

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No. 8: GoDaddy

% High Job Stress: 67%

Mid-Career Median Salary: $99,000 

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No. 7: Fujitsu

% High Job Stress: 68%

Mid Career Median Salary: $108,000 

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No. 6: Uber

% High Job Stress: 70%

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% High Job Stress: 71%

Mid Career Median Salary: $110,000 

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No. 4: Samsung

% High Job Stress: 74%

Mid Career Median Salary: $135,000

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% High Job Stress: 75%

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No. 1: SpaceX

% High Job Stress: 86%

Mid Career Median Salary: $80,800 

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