We've all made mistakes with money, and some of us have made very big ones. It can be hard to get back on your feet when you've experienced a financial setback of your own making.
But if you can view your screw-up with the right perspective and learn from it, you can emerge stronger and better-prepared for a healthy relationship with your money. Here's how:
1. Admit You Goofed
Mistakes only become failures if you don't learn anything from them. And the first step to learning is to admit that you goofed.
Don't think of it as a failure or interpret it to mean that you're a bad person. Think of it as a minor setback or a lesson. Your mistake may even teach you something valuable about yourself that you never realized before.
2. Identify What Went Wrong
Step back and identify what went wrong, so that you might avoid making that same mistake over again.
If you made a bad investment, what drove you to do so? Were you listening to bad advice? If so, you may want to reconsider your financial advisers. You may choose to educate yourself more instead of being swayed by trends.
If you took on debt to fund a lifestyle you couldn't afford, what drove you to do that? Are you secretly unhappy at your job and looking for a way to distract yourself? Do you rely on shopping sprees to make yourself feel better at the end of a bad day?
3. Stop Blaming Yourself
There's a difference between taking responsibility for your actions and dwelling them on.
We often tend to equate our bad choices with our being a bad person: "I made that bad investment because I'm an idiot," or "I got into debt because I'm irresponsible." You need to let go of these negative self-narratives and start thinking of yourself as a good person who has slipped up.
Why does this matter? Because calling yourself names only traps you in a negative cycle. It prevents you from believing you have the ability to do better, and it can often become a self-fulfilling prophecy that causes us to make the same mistakes all over again. Your bad decisions don't have to define who you are as a person.
4. Start Looking Forward
It's not enough to simply vow to "do better" in the future. Developing concrete goals and actionable steps will set you up for success and give you a task that you can start doing now to improve your situation and take your mind off the past.
Yes, you need to spend time reflecting on what you've done wrong to learn from it, but at a certain point, you need to stop look backward and start looking forward. Begin by identifying a major long-term goal, such as repaying your debt.
5. Make One Small, Immediate Change
Pick a small, immediate action step that can move you toward your long-term goal. For example, if you want to pay down debt, you can immediately cut your cable TV subscription so you can put more toward your credit cards. If your long-term goal is saving more for your retirement, the immediate step could be setting up an appointment with a financial adviser.
Keep repeating this step. Major changes occur one small step at a time.
6. Accept Yourself
Be honest with yourself about the mindsets and assumptions that drove you to make your bad decisions. Then find small ways to change those attitudes and habits.
Mistakes will happen. It's how you move on from those mistakes that defines your financial health in the long-term.
Paula Pant ditched her 9-to-5 job in 2008. She's traveled to 30 countries, owns six rental units and runs a business from her laptop. Her blog, Afford Anything, is a gathering spot for rebels who refuse to say, "I can't afford it." Visit Afford Anything to learn how to shatter limits and live life on your own terms.
15 Easy Ways to Cut Your Health Care Costs Without Cutting Quality
Recover From Your Money Mistakes in 6 Simple Steps
From general practitioners to dentists to acupuncturists, many health care providers offer discounts when you send them a word-of-mouth referral. It may only be $50 or so, but money is money.
It doesn't hurt to ask for a discount: The worst your doctor can say is "no." Many practitioners offer lower rates when you pay with cash or check instead of a card. (They also offer payment plan options if you can't afford to pay all at once.)
Bring up as many concerns with your primary-care physician during an office visit as possible, advises Adam Beck, assistant professor of health insurance at The American College, which trains people in the finance industry. "Your doctor will be able to test and treat you for a variety of potential ailments or conditions while paying one co-pay, as opposed to returning each time you think something is awry."
Always review your medical bills the same way you would a restaurant bill. If you feel like a billing mistake was made -- or that you've been overcharged -- speak up. "The Medical Billing Advocates of America estimates that roughly eight out of 10 medical bills contain errors," says Allen Erenbaum of the Consumer Health Alliance, a national association for non-insurance discount health care programs. "All prescription drugs and medical procedures have codes, and sometimes there could be a costly mistake." If you need help, you can find patient and billing advocates through MedicalBillMediation.com and Medical Billing Advocates of America.
"Establish a relationship with a primary-care physician and have all the routine screening done that is recommended for someone of your age and gender," advises John Garner, author of the "Health Insurance Answer Book." "Catching problems early is not only less expensive, but it could save your life." (Of course, you are exercising daily and eating nutritiously.)
Make a habit of requesting the generic alternatives for prescriptions. Your doctors may write their prescriptions this way automatically, but it never hurts to remind them. Additionally, ask if there's a different form of the same medication. "For example, if you are prescribed tablets, ask if you may take capsules or lozenges. Sometimes the difference in cost with your insurance can mean a difference in half the tablet price. I've saved lots of customers this way just by calling their doctor for them personally," says pharmacist Steve Levin, owner of Woodland Hills Pharmacy in California. The wisdom of buying cheaper generics also applies to over-the-counter medications. For example, Target sells a 100-tablet bottle of Tylenol for $6.99, while its store brand of acetaminophen costs $5.29 for 250 tablets.
The emergency room may seem like your best bet when you don't have time to wait for an appointment, but it should only be used in life-threatening situations. The ER is much more expensive than a visit to your family doctor, sometimes by hundreds of dollars -- and that's before you even get to your actual treatment. If you can't wait to see a physician, or you're out of town, your best option is an urgent care center. They are often a little more expensive than visiting a general practitioner, but definitely less costly than the ER.
Medical bills can add up quickly, especially when a doctor starts doing test after test. Garner says to always ask questions such as, "Is this test or procedure necessary?" and don't settle for vague answers.
Get the insurance coverage that works best for your family's needs. If you're a relatively healthy person who goes to the doctor once a year and the dentist every six months, but usually nothing more, skip the ultra-expensive premium with a low deductible. Contrarily, if you find yourself visiting the doctor more often, an insurance plan with a low deductible could save you much more even though your premium is higher. To better understand your choices, consult a licensed health insurance agent.
"Non-insurance discount health plans can save you money on ancillary services your insurance typically does not cover, like dental care, vision, prescriptions, alternative medicine and more," explains Erenbaum. According to the Consumer Health Alliance, you can save 20 percent to 60 percent on services with a non-insurance discount plan. Check out America's Premier Benefits, New Benefits, Careington and DentalPlans.
"If you require a medication that isn't available as a generic yet, joining a discount club could reduce what you pay for prescription drugs dramatically," notes Beck. These discount cards are often free. Also ask if your pharmacy has any prescription reward programs. These provide the incentive for pharmacy loyalty, saving you money and ensuring repeat business for the pharmacy.
Your annual vision exam may require an updated prescription, but buying glasses or contacts from your doctor may mean paying up to 50 percent more. Instead, go online to find less expensive -- and sometimes more fashionable -- options.
Receiving medical care from a provider out-of-network can cost you much more than using someone who's in-network. Before booking an appointment, call to confirm the office's network status with your insurance company. Ensuring you only see in-network providers can become difficult in a hospital, but make sure the hospital staff knows you have a strong preference for in-network physicians.
"Be aware and take advantage of treatment at free clinics when available," advises Beck. "Particularly in urban areas, there are opportunities to treat some conditions for free, namely those that pose a risk to public health. For example, if you are concerned about a sexually transmitted infection, a visit to the city health center may involve a depressing waiting room, but the screening and treatments will be free."