Ruby Rose is bringing awareness to World Mental Health Day by sharing her journey with depression. On Thursday, the “Orange is the New Black”star opened up about struggling "with mental health my entire life" in a candid post on Instagram.
"I was first diagnosed with depression at 13, then major depressive disorder at 16. When I was 18 I found out I had Dissociative amnesia," she began. Dissociative amnesia occurs when a person blocks out certain information, usually due to a stressful or traumatic event. Rose realized she had done just that when she ran into a friend from primary school.
"She remembered me but I didn’t recognize her at all,” Rose, 33, revealed. “She remembered our teachers, things we did and my monkey backpack... things I didn’t remember even when she said them with such innocent conviction.” She started asking her mom some questions and her "life changed."
"I found out I went from a smiling laughing child to a quiet mute who sat alone and stared off to the distance during recess after one of many traumatic events that I didn’t remember," she explained. Doctors at the time said she was "too young to process what had happened and that it was for the best." The actress didn't elaborate on the event.
"I was also diagnosed with Bipolar [disorder] for a long time until it turned out I just had depression," she wrote, adding, "the pure sad depression without the fun and not so fun parts of mania, it was an overactive thyroid that created that misdiagnosis. Cut to many dark times. On medication, off medication, on and off and on and off per each wrong diagnoses."
The “Batwoman” star continued, "There were hospitalizations, suicide attempts as young as 12. Cut to therapy and meditation, cut to seeing me at [every] self-help section of every bookstore. Cut to a brain scan which showed I had severe PTSD... cut to more therapy and tests that led me to my final diagnosis... C-PTSD. Complex PTSD." The condition is the result of experiencing trauma for months or years, rather than a single traumatic incident.
"What I have learned from the struggles of mental health is just how strong I am," she concluded. "It’s how amazing people are because they love me and support me and yet you can’t judge those who don’t understand and don’t know how to do that either. It’s that you cannot judge people at all because you can never know what they have been through. It’s that self love and self care is more important than anything else."
Rose's post was met with overwhelming support from fans and her celebrity friends.
"Love u Ruby," Hailey Bieber wrote.
"Thank you for sharing you have such an open heart!! You show others they can open up about their struggles as well," Ester Dean commented.
"Thank you for sharing Ruby. The internet needs people ready to be open and vulnerable on their platform," another person added. "Posts like this do make a difference and impact your entire community."
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 01: Actress Ruby Rose attends the ONE Campaign and (RED)Âs concert to mark World AIDS Day, celebrate the incredible progress thatÂs been made in the fights against extreme poverty and HIV/AIDS, and to honor the extraordinary leaders, dedicated activists, and passionate partners who have made that progress possible. At Carnegie Hall on December 1, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images for The ONE Campaign)
MIAMI, FL - JANUARY 09: Ruby Rose Performs At The Grand Opening Of ICON MIAMI on January 9, 2016 in Miami, Florida. (Photo by Aaron Davidson/Getty Images)
MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA - NOVEMBER 15: Ruby Rose (R), Australian model, DJ, recording artist and actress poses during the UFC 193 event at Etihad Stadium on November 15, 2015 in Melbourne, Australia. (Photo by Jeff Bottari/Zuffa LLC/Zuffa LLC via Getty Images)
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - NOVEMBER 10: Ruby Rose arrives ahead of the 2015 GQ Men Of The Year Awards on November 10, 2015 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Don Arnold/WireImage)
MILAN, ITALY - OCTOBER 25: Ed Sheeran and Ruby Rose speak onstage at the MTV EMA's 2015 at Mediolanum Forum on October 25, 2015 in Milan, Italy. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage)
MILAN, ITALY - OCTOBER 25: Ruby Rose speaks onstage at the MTV EMA's 2015 at Mediolanum Forum on October 25, 2015 in Milan, Italy. (Photo by Kevin Mazur/WireImage)
MILAN, ITALY - OCTOBER 25: Host Ruby Rose poses with fans the MTV EMA's 2015 at Mediolanum Forum on October 25, 2015 in Milan, Italy. (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - SEPTEMBER 17: Actress Ruby Rose attends Kari Feinstein's Style Lounge at Sunset Marquis Hotel & Villas on September 17, 2015 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Rebecca Sapp/WireImage)
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - AUGUST 21: Ruby Rose performs at Temple Nightclub on August 21, 2015 in San Francisco, California. (Photo by Kimberly White/Getty Images for Temple Nightclub)
LAS VEGAS, NV - AUGUST 20: Actress/DJ Ruby Rose performs at the Surrender Nightclub in Encore at Wynn Las Vegas early August 20, 2015 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by David Becker/Getty Images for Wynn Las Vegas)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 15: Ruby Rose is seen on July 15, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - JULY 08: Ruby Rose visits 'Extra' at Universal Studios Hollywood on July 8, 2015 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Noel Vasquez/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JULY 04: Ruby Rose is seen on July 04, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Nancy Rivera/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JULY 06: Actress/Dj Ruby Rose is seen outside 'Today Show' on July 6, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JULY 04: Actress Ruby Rose DJ's at Pacha's Independence Day bash on July 4, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Noam Galai/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 29: Ruby Rose is seen at LAX. on June 29, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by GVK/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 12: Actress Ruby Rose attends the 'Orange is the New Black' season 3 premiere party benefiting the Women's Prison Association at The Ainsworth on June 12, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Mike Pont/WireImage)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 15: Actress Ruby Rose attends The Max Mara 2015 Women In Film Face Of The Future event at Chateau Marmont on June 15, 2015 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images for Max Mara)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 12: Singer/Actress Ruby Rose is seen walking in Soho on June 12, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 11: Ruby Rose attends the 'Orangecon' Fan Event at Skylight Clarkson SQ. on June 11, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/FilmMagic)