Stedman Graham shares the secret to his and Oprah Winfrey's decades-long romance

There's a very simple reason why Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham's relationship works. 

On Friday's episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Graham shares insight from his new book, Identity Leadership: To Lead Others You Must First Lead Yourself, and reveals the secret to his and Winfrey's 34-year romance.

"The thing about our relationship is I want the best for her," explains the 68-year-old author, who first met Winfrey in 1986 at a charity event. "So, I'm dedicated to her happiness, so that's great for her and I want her to be the best she can possibly be and she's done a pretty good job of doing it."

"For me, I've been able to find my own happiness, and develop my own skills, my own talents, my own abilities -- and I'm satisfied with that," Graham says of dating a powerful woman. "...So, the combination, when you have a good partner that's able to self-actualize their potential and you're able to self-actualize yours, one and one equals about six."

While Winfrey, 65, has insisted that she'll never run for president, Graham thinks she'd made a great political leader. "Oh yes, you can trust her, for one. She's smart, she has a photographic memory, she works very, very hard," he tells DeGeneres in endorsement of Winfrey running for office. "She has qualifications to do it and she's very successful."

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Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham
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Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham
Talk show host and actress Oprah Winfrey, recipient of the first Bob Hope Humanitarian Award at the 54th annual Emmy Awards September 22, 2002 in Los Angeles, relaxes with companion Stedman Graham at the Governor's Ball following the show. REUTERS/Fred Prouser REUTERS FSP
Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham arrive on the red carpet for the Kennedy Center Honors at the Kennedy Center in Washington, December 5, 2010. Winfrey, former Beatle Paul McCartney, country music legend Merle Haggard, Broadway composer and lyricist Jerry Herman of "Hello Dolly!" fame, and dancer-choreographer-director Bill T. Jones are being honored in this year's instalment of the annual lifetime achievement nods. REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst (UNITED STATES - Tags: POLITICS ENTERTAINMENT MEDIA)
Talk show host Oprah Winfrey reacts to the crowd as she arrives with boyfriend Stedman Graham for the People's Choice Awards January 11 in Santa Monica. Winfrey won Favorite Television Performer at the awards show. This is the third People's Choice Award Winfrey has received. The People's Choice is a show to recognize the public's favorites as determined by polling.
Oprah Winfrey, chairman of Harpo Entertainment Group, left, attends the Allen & Co. Media and Technology Conference with Stedman Graham in Sun Valley, Idaho, U.S., on Thursday, July 7, 2011. Media executives are gathering at Allen & Co.'s Sun Valley conference this week looking to shed assets such as the Hulu LLC video website and G4 game channel amid a declining global stock market and slowing economic growth. Photographer: Peter Foley/Bloomberg via Getty Images
WHITESBORO, NJ - AUGUST 30: Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham recite the Pledge of Allegiance at the 20th Reunion Festival August 30 ,2008 in Whitesboro, New Jersey. (Photo by Donald Kravitz/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - DECEMBER 4: (AFP OUT) Oprah Winfrey, one of the 2010 Kennedy Center honorees, arrives with Stedman Graham for the formal artist's dinner for the Kennedy Center Honors at the United States Department of State December 4, 2010 in Washington, D.C. (Photo by Ron Sachs-Pool/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - AUGUST 05: Stedman Graham and Oprah Winfrey attend 'The Butler' premiere at Ziegfeld Theater on August 5, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/FilmMagic)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - FEBRUARY 22: Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham arrives at the 87th Annual Academy Awards at Hollywood & Highland Center on February 22, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)
SANTA BARBARA, CA - DECEMBER 06: Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham attend the 'Selma' and the Legends Who Paved the Way gala at Bacara Resort on December 6, 2014 in Goleta, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - FEBRUARY 22: Oprah Winfrey and Stedman Graham arrive at the 2015 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Graydon Carter at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on February 22, 2015 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)
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