Doris Day's grandson 'cut off' from seeing her in her final years alive: Details

Doris Day's grandson says he wasn't allowed to see his ailing grandmother in her final years alive.

Ryan Melcher, whose father is Day's late son, Terry Melcher, took to Facebook to reveal that he found out about the Hollywood legend's death at the age of 97 on Monday the same way the public did, via the news and social media.

"You see, I received the news of my grandmother’s passing like many of you -- I awoke and read the news in a social media feed Monday morning," he wrote. "Sadly, due to a divorce that I was thrown into the middle of while still an underaged child, I have not been allowed to see my grandmother for quite some time. When I was invited by Doris to dinner a few years ago after my father’s untimely death in November 2004 (melanoma), her new business manager, a former fan, intervened and asked me to meet him at the family owned Cypress Inn here in Carmel, California."

Credit: Getty Images

SEE ALSO: Here's why Doris Day won't be having a funeral

"I was asked by this man: 'Why do you want to see Doris?' I was shocked not only at the question, but also that it was coming from someone who was a stranger and outsider. I just responded, 'um....she is my grandmother!' He replied, 'I'm afraid you aren't going to be able to see your grandmother,' citing the divorce between my parents as his excuse," Melcher went on. "Looking back, I should have said more; should have drove to her home and not let a stranger come between us, but unfortunately the tall fences and 24-hour guard under her new business manager's direction prevented me taking a stand and reconnecting with my family. She had been so happy to talk to me and we were both excited for our upcoming dinner together just a week before, and this man was clearly manipulating the situation."

34 PHOTOS
Doris Day through the years
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Doris Day through the years
DORIS DAY -- Pictured: Singer/actress Doris Day -- (Photo by: NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
Actor Clint Eastwood and actress Doris Day attend 46th Annual Golden Globe Awards on January 28, 1989 at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage)
Actor Clint Eastwood and actress Doris Day attend 46th Annual Golden Globe Awards on January 28, 1989 at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage)
Actor Clint Eastwood and actress Doris Day attend Monteray Film Festival Gala on February 7, 1987 at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Monteray, California. (Photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage)
Actor Clint Eastwood and actress Doris Day attend 46th Annual Golden Globe Awards on January 28, 1989 at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California.
367333 02: Living legend Doris Day walks to her car on her 65th birthday with friends April 5, 2000 in Carmel, CA. 'The Pajama Game' star and Carmel resident has not been seen in public for nearly a year. (Photo by Mike Carrillo/Online USA)
American singer and actress Doris Day in an exuberant pose with her arms outstretched, circa 1990. (Photo by Terry O'Neill/Getty Images)
Singer and actress Doris Day attending the 46th Annual Golden Globe Awards, where she received a lifetime achievement award, at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Los Angeles, January 28th 1989. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson -- Pictured: (l-r) Actress/singer Doris Day, guest host McLean Stevenson on November 26, 1973 -- Photo by: NBC/NBCU Photo Bank
THE TONIGHT SHOW STARRING JOHNNY CARSON -- Episode 9/2/1976 -- Pictured: (l-r) Singer/actress Doris Day and host Johnny Carson on September 2, 1974 -- Photo by: Fred Sabine/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank
367333 03: Living legend Doris Day walks to her car on her 65th birthday April 5, 2000 in Carmel, CA. 'The Pajama Game' star and Carmel resident has not been seen in public for nearly a year. (Photo by Mike Carrillo/Online USA)
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson -- Pictured: Actress/singer Doris Day on November 26, 1973 -- Photo by: NBC/NBCU Photo Bank
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson -- Pictured: (l-r) Announcer Ed McMahon, Actress/singer Doris Day, guest host McLean Stevenson on November 26, 1973 -- Photo by: NBC/NBCU Photo Bank
Doris Day looks caught off guard as she glances to the side in a casual portrait as Doris Martin, her character from the 'The Doris Day Show,' January 27, 1970. (Photo by CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - FEBRUARY 25: Actress Doris Day having lunch on February 25,1970 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Santi Visalli/Getty Images)
American actress Doris Day with her son, American rock producer and songwriter Terry Melcher (1942 - 2004), early 1970s. Melcher also served as the executive producer of his mother's television series 'The Doris Day Show' from 1968 - 1972. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
American actress Doris Day, as Doris Martin, and Buddy Lester (1917 - 2002), as Eddie, try to separate their fighters, Lauro Salas (as Garcia), left, and Larry Storch (as Duke Farentino) in an episode of 'The Doris Day Show' entitled 'The Prizefighter and The Lady,' October 8, 1969. (Photo by CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images)
American actress Doris Day, as Doris Martin, smiles and Denver Pyle (1920 - 1997), as Buck Webb, looks suspicious in an episode of 'The Doris Day Show,' entitled 'The Prizefighter and The Lady', October 8, 1969. (Photo by CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images)
American actress Doris Day, as Doris Martin, reads a bedtime story to Philip Brown, as Billy Martin, and Todd Starke (1961 - 1983), as Toby Martin, who play her sons on 'The Doris Day Show,' in an episode entitled 'Doris Strikes Out,' August 14, 1969. (Photo by CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images)
American actress Doris Day holds her jacket and looks to the side in a formal portrait as Doris Martin, her character on 'The Doris Day Show,' June 7, 1968. (Photo by CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images)
American actor McLean Stevenson (1929 - 1996), as Michael Nicholson, sits on the desk of Doris Day's character, Doris Martin, in episode of 'The Doris Day Show,' entitled 'Doris Strikes Out,' August 14, 1969. (Photo by CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images)
The American actress and singer Doris Day wearing a headscarf smiling to the camera in a scene of 'Caprice'. 1967 (Photo by Mondadori Portfolio via Getty Images)
The American actress and singer Doris Day pulling down her glasses looking at something in astonishment in a scene of 'Caprice'. 1967 (Photo by Mondadori Portfolio via Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES - CIRCA 1965: Actress and singer Doris Day poses for a portrait circa 1965 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Martin Mills/Getty Images)
(GERMANY OUT) Doris Day, *03.04.1924-, eigentlich: Doris Mary Ann von von Kappelhoff, Schauspielerin, Saengerin, USA, mit Cary Grant in, dem Spielfilm 'Ein Hauch von Nerz', USA 1962 (Photo by Pressefoto Kindermann/ullstein bild via Getty Images)
circa 1965: Studio headshot portrait of American actor and singer Doris Day resting her chin on her hands and wearing a brown-and-tan striped jacket with a large white fur trim in front of a yellow background. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
Doris Day, US actress and singer, wearing a yellow sleeveless top with black trim on the neck, circa 1965. (Photo by Silver Screen Collection/Getty Images)
American actress Doris Day, circa 1962. (Photo by Silver Screen Collection/Getty Images)
American actress and singer Doris Day, circa 1960. (Photo by Bud Fraker/Archive Photos/Getty Images)
(GERMANY OUT) Doris Day*03.04.1924-eigentlich: Doris Mary Ann von von KappelhoffSchauspielerin, Saengerin, USAPorträt- um 1960 (Photo by Reinhard-Archiv/ullstein bild via Getty Images)
(GERMANY OUT) Day, Doris - Actress, Singer, USA - *03.04.1924- Scene from the movie 'Pillow Talk'' Directed by: Michael Gordon USA 1959 Produced by: Arwin Productions Vintage property of ullstein bild (Photo by ullstein bild/ullstein bild via Getty Images)
Actor Clint Eastwood and actress Doris Day attend Monteray Film Festival Gala on February 7, 1987 at the Hyatt Regency Hotel in Monteray, California. (Photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage)
(Original Caption) Actress Doris Day talks about her private life during a New York press conference January 6. The press meeting was held in connection with a newly published biography, Doris Day, Her Own Story. She told reporters, 'I'm a survivor. I don't regret anything. I'm very happy now living the nicest life I can live and if I can get that in the book, I guess that will give people hope.' in the book, Miss Day says she 'Staunchly' believes no two people should get married until they have lived together.
LOS ANGELES, CA - CIRCA 1965: Actress and singer Doris Day poses for a portrait circa 1965 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Martin Mills/Getty Images)
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"All this to say: the dinner between my grandma and I never took place. Any and all communication was cut off from that point on and I was left bewildered. I later learned that the business manager had fired all the longstanding members on my grandma's Foundation board and appointed his direct family as the new board members. It seemed I was not the only one who had been cut out," he continued. "I tried for some time after this to get the word out about what transpired, however ultimately decided against causing any new emotional waves for my grandmother, who by that time was late in age. Also, from what I had heard around the community from in-the-know people, her mind had already begun slipping so I feared my outreach would only cause more stress due to the new folks surrounding her. I could not bring myself to continue to fight an uphill battle at the expense of her wellbeing or my family’s."

"I didn’t stand up for my family as I was young and still scarred; just a few years earlier while my father was very ill during the last years of his life, his wife blocked me from him, again using my involvement in my parent's divorce as a tool to divide us," Melcher added. "We later learned this woman had my father change his will, became executor of his estate and took control of our community property while preventing me from any contact with my own father. She attempted to have me arrested when I went to say goodbye to him on his deathbed. This has been a running theme in our family and a pattern I want to break."

SEE ALSO: 5 things you never knew about Doris Day

Melcher finished his lengthy social media reveal by reminiscing on his time with his beloved grandmother, noting that he'll be "forever grateful for the time" that he had with her early on in his life when his "family was so close."

Day's grandson's post follows Day's manager, Bob Bashara, revealing to People that the actress will not be having a funeral, memorial or grave marker following her death, per her own wishes, as she "had difficulty accepting death."

"She didn't like death, and she couldn't be with her animals if they had to be put down," Bashara explained, adding that she didn't "like to talk about" any plans that were to be made following her passing.

"I think it was because she was a very shy person," Bashara said when asked why she didn't want a funeral. "She never let her celebrity affect her and who she was, and she was always the little girl from Cincinnati who was extraordinarily talented and went out in the world and did what she loved to do despite herself."

"She was guileless, and I had discussions with her about how popular she was, and she would say, ‘I don’t understand it’ about why she was so loved," he went on. "She knew her fans loved her from all the letters, and that meant a lot to her."

23 PHOTOS
Doris Day and her love for animals
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Doris Day and her love for animals
American actress and singer Doris Day playing with one of her French Poodles at her home in Toluca Lake, Los Angeles, California, 1951. (Photo by Phil Burchman/Pictorial Parade/Archive Photos/Getty Images)
American actress Doris Day cradles a monkey as Doris Martin, her character in 'The Doris Day Show,' in an episode entitled 'Doris Leaves Today's World,' August 5, 1970. (Photo by CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images)
Doris Day (1922 - 2019) Actress - August 1980 at her home in Beverley Hills, with one of her dogs called 'Tip'. (Photo by Kent Gavin /Mirrorpix/Getty Images)
Actress Doris Day and Hugh Hefner hold 'Jane Doe' at a party benefiting a group called Actors and Others for Animals. The wine tasting party was held at the Playboy Mansion West and the dog was scheduled to go to the dog pound but was given to one of the party goers.
LOS ANGELES - OCTOBER 4: THE DORIS DAY SHOW featuring (from left) Doris Day (as Doris Martin) Billy De Wolfe (as Mr. Jarvis) and John Dehner (as Cy Bennett) in episode: 'It's a Dog's Life'. Image dated October 4, 1972. (Photo by CBS via Getty Images)
Actress Doris Day wearing midi-length skirt, petting dog. (Photo by John Dominis/The LIFE Picture Collection/Getty Images)
Doris Day giving a skunk to Peter Graves in a scene from the film 'The Ballad of Josie', 1967. (Photo by Universal Pictures/Getty Images)
(Original Caption) Doris Day and husband, Martin Melcher, with pet French poodle, Smudgie, relaing between scenes of Pillow Talk.
CARMEL CA, - JULY 16: Doris Day with one of her dogs at a press conference at the dog friendly hotel she owns in Carmel, California July 16, 1985 ( Photo by Paul Harris/Getty Images )
American actress Doris Day cradles a monkey as Doris Martin, her character in 'The Doris Day Show,' in an episode entitled 'Doris Leaves Today's World,' August 5, 1970. (Photo by CBS Photo Archive/Getty Images)
(Original Caption) Segio Fantoni, Doris Day and Rod Taylor are shown on the set as they amuse themselves with a wolf between scenes of Do Not Disturb in which the trio co-star.
ETATS UNIS - FEVRIER 19: L'actrice americaine Doris Day pose avec son chien Andy qui jouera avec elle dans un film le 19 fevrier, 1960 aux Etats-Unis . (Photo by Keystone-France/Gamma-Rapho via Getty Images)
(Original Caption) Doris Day and husband, Martin Melcher, with pet French poodle, Smudgie, relaing between scenes of Pillow Talk.
1960: American actor Doris Day with mutt co-star Hobo on the set of director Charles Walters's film, 'Please Don't Eat the Daisies'. Also pictured is an unshaven toy poodle standing up on his hind legs. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
(Original Caption) 4/3/1959-Hollywood, CA: Know who's the most popular American singer in Russia (discounting Paul Robeson)? Doris Day? No one was more surprised than the breezy, All American blonde to learn than her recording outsell any other U.S. platters in the USSR- and she can't understand why. Doris quipped "maybe I should sing a special song in Russian and send it over. Something like 'When the Communists Flock to Vladivostok'"- It just might make their hit parade.
(Eingeschränkte Rechte für bestimmte redaktionelle Kunden in Deutschland. Limited rights for specific editorial clients in Germany.) Doris Day*03.04.1924-Actress, USAwith a poodle in her car.- about 1955 (Photo by ullstein bild/ullstein bild via Getty Images)
(Original Caption) Doris Day and David Niven in a scene from the movie: Please don't Eat the Daisies.
American actress and singer Doris Day poses with an array of multi-coloured poodles, 1952. Originally used on the cover of 'Collier's' magazine - pub. 9th August 1952. (Photo by Silver Screen Collection/Archive Photos/Getty Images)
American actress and singer Doris Day with her horse, Silver, during fiming of David Butler's musical, 'Calamity Jane', 1953. (Photo by Phil Burchman/Pictorial Parade/Archive Photos/Getty Images)"n"n
circa 1955: Studio portrait of American actor Doris Day looking at a live turkey perched on a fence next to her. (Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)
American actress and singer Doris Day playing with her French Poodles, Beanie and Smudge, at her home in Toluca Lake, Los Angeles, California, 1951. (Photo by Phil Burchman/Pictorial Parade/Archive Photos/Getty Images)"n"n
(Original Caption) "Since you're such a good doggy, suppose you just sit up here and have your picture taken?" purrs Doris Day to this fortunate canine. Oh for a day's life in the day of Doris Day!
American actress and singer Doris Day by the pool at her home in Toluca Lake, Los Angeles, California, circa 1955. (Photo by Phil Burchman/Pictorial Parade/Archive Photos/Getty Images)"n"n
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