How Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott keep their romance alive

Keeping the spark alive! After almost 13 years of marriage and five children together, Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott still make time for romance, no matter what. “Finding those moments in the crazy-busy day to make eye contact, to kiss, to say ‘I love you,’ to touch in some form, I just feel like that’s really important,” the 90210 alum, 45, told Us Weekly at McDermott’s recent Tapout Fitness boxing class.

“If you go through your busy life – we’re working, we have kids – if you don’t take a moment, you’ll realize the entire day is gone, and you haven’t had that moment together and then it’s over. So we make sure we do that on a daily basis now,” continued Spelling. She also noted that improving their communication skills has “changed everything” for the parents (they share kids Liam, 11, Stella, 10, Hattie, 7, Finn, 6, and Beau, 23 months) in recent years.

“We started this some years back,” explained the Masked Singer contestant. “We communicate now, I have a voice. He probably hears too much of it but he [is so] good at listening. Women like to talk and over-explain.”

For McDermott, 52, there’s one more special thing that keeps their relationship exciting. “I have to touch her butt every day,” he said. “It started on the red carpet. It started off as a nervous thing because she was so used to red carpets and I got thrust into it and my hand just went to her butt, and I was like, ‘Ahh, such a safe place, I’m okay now.’”

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Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott and their children
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Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott and their children
Actress Tori Spelling poses with her children at the world premiere of Disney's "Christopher Robin," in Burbank, California, U.S., July 30, 2018. REUTERS/Danny Moloshok
US actress Tori Spelling and children attend the World Premiere of Disney's 'Christopher Robin' on July 30, 2018, in Burbank, California. (Photo by VALERIE MACON / AFP) (Photo credit should read VALERIE MACON/AFP/Getty Images)
US actress Tori Spelling and children attend the World Premiere of Disney's 'Christopher Robin' on July 30, 2018, in Burbank, California. (Photo by VALERIE MACON / AFP) (Photo credit should read VALERIE MACON/AFP/Getty Images)
WESTWOOD, CA - JUNE 30: Actor Dean McDermott and wife/actress Tori Spelling with children arrive for Columbia Pictures And Sony Pictures Animation's World Premiere Of 'Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation' held at Regency Village Theatre on June 30, 2018 in Westwood, California. (Photo by Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - DECEMBER 02: Tori Spelling (L) Dean McDermott (R) and their son at the 7th Annual Santa's Secret Workshop benefiting LA Family Housing at Andaz on December 2, 2017 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for Santa's Secret Workshop 2017)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - DECEMBER 02: Tori Spelling (L), Dean McDermott, and their children at the 7th Annual Santa's Secret Workshop benefiting LA Family Housing at Andaz on December 2, 2017 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for Santa's Secret Workshop 2017)
CULVER CITY, CA - OCTOBER 29: Tori Spelling and son Beau Dean McDermott attend the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation's 28th Annual 'A Time For Heroes' Family Festival at Smashbox Studios on October 29, 2017 in Culver City, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)
WESTWOOD, CA - SEPTEMBER 16: Actor Dean McDermott and actress Tori Spelling with their children arrive for the Premiere Of Warner Bros. Pictures' 'The LEGO Ninjago Movie' held at Regency Village Theatre on September 16, 2017 in Westwood, California. (Photo by Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - SEPTEMBER 07: Actress Tori Spelling (L), daughter Stella McDermott, Host Jennie Garth (R) and daughter Lola Ray Facinelli attend the Netflix Series 'Project Mc2' Part 5 Premiere hosted by Jennie Garth and MGA Entertainment at The London West Hollywood on September 7, 2017 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Rachel Murray/Getty Images for MGA Entertainment )
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - SEPTEMBER 07: Actress Tori Spelling and daughter Stella McDermott attend the Netflix Series 'Project Mc2' Part 5 Premiere hosted by Jennie Garth and MGA Entertainment at The London West Hollywood on September 7, 2017 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Rachel Murray/Getty Images for MGA Entertainment )
WESTWOOD, CA - JULY 23: Actress Tori Spelling, actor Dean McDermott and children (L-R) Finn McDermott, Liam McDermott, Stella McDermott and Hattie McDermott attend the premiere of Columbia Pictures and Sony Pictures Animation's 'The Emoji Movie' at Regency Village Theatre on July 23, 2017 in Westwood, California. (Photo by Tara Ziemba/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - AUGUST 05: (L-R) Actress Tori Spelling, husband Dean McDermott, and children Finn Davey McDermott, Hattie Margaret McDermott, and Stella Doreen McDermott attend 'The Lion King' sing-along screening at The Greek Theatre on August 5, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Rodin Eckenroth/WireImage)
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - DECEMBER 21: Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott and children attend the Grand Re-Opening Event For 'From Coraline To Kubo: A Magical LAIKA Experience' at The Globe Theatre on December 21, 2016 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Tommaso Boddi/Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - NOVEMBER 14: Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott and their children attend the premiere of Disney's 'Moana' at AFI FEST 2016 at the El Capitan Theatre on November 14, 2016 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Tibrina Hobson/Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - NOVEMBER 14: Actress Tori Spelling and her daughter Stella McDermott arrive at the AFI FEST 2016 Presented By Audi premiere of Disney's 'Moana' at the El Capitan Theatre on November 14, 2016 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Amanda Edwards/WireImage)
CULVER CITY, CA - AUGUST 22: Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott and children Finn Davey McDermott, Stella Doreen McDermott, Hattie Margaret McDermott and Liam McDermott attend the LG 'Fam To Table' series at The Washbow on August 22, 2015 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)
CULVER CITY, CA - OCTOBER 25: Tori Spelling and son attend King Of Harts By Melissa Joan Hart Supports The 26th Annual Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation A Time For Heroes Family Festival at Smashbox Studios on October 25, 2015 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Michael Bezjian/Getty Images for Melissa Joan Hart)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 08: Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott and children attend the premiere of 'Inside Out' at the El Capitan Theatre on June 8, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 27: (L- R) Dean McDermott and actress Tori Spelling (with their children), attend with philanthropist Candy Spelling and actor Randy Spelling the LA's BEST (Better Educated Students for Tomorrow) Annual Family Dinner 2015 at Skirball Cultural Center on June 27, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by David A. Walega/WireImage)
BUENA PARK, CA - MAY 14: Actress Tori Spelling and son Finn Davey McDermott attend the launch of 'Voyage To The Iron Reef' at Knott's Berry Farm on May 14, 2015 in Buena Park, California. (Photo by Chelsea Lauren/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 06: Tori Spelling (L), Dean McDermott (R) and thei children Hattie, Stella, Finn and Liam attend the 4th Annual Santa's Secret Workshop Benefiting LA Family Housing at Andaz Hotel on December 6, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Tiffany Rose/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 12: TV personalities Dean McDermott (L) and Tori Spelling pose with daughter Hattie Margaret McDermott at 'Rockin' Ever After' presented by Disney On Ice at Staples Center on December 12, 2013 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - MAY 10: Actress Tori Spelling (C) and children Finn Davey McDermott (L) and Hattie Margaret McDermott (R) attend The Helping Hand of Los Angeles annual mother's day luncheon at Beverly Hills Hotel on May 10, 2013 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Chelsea Lauren/WireImage)
BURBANK, CA - AUGUST 28: Actress Tori Spelling (C), her daughter Stella McDermott (L) and her son Liam McDermott (R) join the Lunchables Team and Club Kids to build a sport court at Boys and Girls Club of Burbank on August 28, 2012 in Burbank, California. (Photo by Amanda Edwards/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 17: Actress Tori Spelling and husband actor Dean McDermott pose with their daughter Hattie McDermott at a signing for Spelling's book 'celebraTORI' at Barnes & Noble at The Grove on April 17, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 14: Actors Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott pose with their children Stella McDermott and Liam McDermott at Disney On Ice, Children's Hospital LA and AEG's Season of Giving Create Holiday Magic on LA Kings Holiday Ice at L.A. LIVE on December 14, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)
�2010 RAMEY PHOTO Beverly Hills, California, August 8, 2010 TORI SPELLING, her husband DEAN McDERMOTT and their children go to the Farmer's Market in Encino, California. Tori carried her daughter Stella in her arms most of the time. PGpg68 (Photo by Philip Ramey/Corbis via Getty Images)
Actor Dean McDermott and son Liam McDermott attend Tori Spelling's book signing of 'Uncharted TerriTORI' at Barnes & Noble bookstore at The Grove on June 21, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.
LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 21: From L to R : Dean McDermott, son Liam Aaron McDermott, daughter Stella Doreen McDermott and actress Tori Spelling attend Tori Spelling Book Signing for 'Uncharted TerriTori' on June 21, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Valerie Macon/Getty Images)
SAN DIEGO - MARCH 26: Actors Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott with their children Stella McDermott and Liam McDermott arrive to the launch of the Polar Bear Plunge at the World Famous San Diego Zoo on March 26, 2010 in San Diego, California. (Photo by John Shearer/WireImage)
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - MARCH 21: Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott and children arrive at the Los Angeles Premiere of 'How To Train Your Dragon' at the Gibson Amphitheatre on March 21, 2010 in Universal City, California. (Photo by Gregg DeGuire/FilmMagic)
NEILL J. SCHUTZER/�2009 RAMEY PHOTO September 17, 2009, Malibu, California Tori Spelling and son Liam out in Malibu. NJSZO09 (Photo by Philip Ramey/Corbis via Getty Images)
BELLE PICTURES/�2009 RAMEY PHOTO LOS ANGELES, 8/19/09 TORI SPELLING AT THE PARK WITH HER FAMILY. JMI (Photo by Philip Ramey/Corbis via Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 20: Actress Tori Spelling (R) and daughter Stella Doreen McDermott attend a signing for Spelling's book 'Mommywood' at Barnes & Noble Booksellers at The Grove on April 20, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)
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When asked about the possibility of expanding their brood, the The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time actor said, “I’m good!,” but noted that his wife sometimes “has this gleam in her eyes like ‘I can do more.’”

While Spelling played coy about the possibility of having another little one, she was adamant that recent reports of her marriage being in trouble are false. “They’ve created this relationship that we have. This aggressive, tumultuous relationship and this doesn’t exist! But they’ve created it over the last year and that’s the story now, and it’s like, they have no idea,” said the Mother, May I Sleep with Danger? actress. “We don’t have relationship problems.”

However, the pair do have some financial troubles. They were recently ordered to report to court to have their finances examined by City National Bank, which filed a lawsuit against them in December 2016 after they allegedly failed to repay a $400,000 bank loan.

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Tori Spelling through the years
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Tori Spelling through the years
UNITED STATES - JANUARY 22: THE LOVE BOAT - Season Six - 1/22/83, Tori Spelling (Sarah) in the 'Doc's Big Case' episode of ABC's 'The Love Boat.', (Photo by ABC Photo Archives/ABC via Getty Images)
Candy Spelling and Tori Spelling at the Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hilton, California (Photo by Ron Galella/WireImage)
HOTEL - 'Barriers' - Airdate: March 11, 1987. (Photo by ABC Photo Archives/ABC via Getty Images) L-R: SHARI BELAFONTE;TORI SPELLING;CONNIE SELLECCA
Tori Spelling, 1988. (Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)
Tori Spelling (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)
SAVED BY THE BELL -- Pictured: (l-r) Tori Spelling as Violet Anne Bickerstaff, Dustin Diamond as Screech Powers (Photo by Alice S. Hall/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES - 1990: Actress Tori Spelling poses for a portrait in 1990 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Harry Langdon/Getty Images)
Brian Austin Green and Tori Spelling (Photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage)
Jason Priestley, Tori Spelling, Aaron Spelling, Shannen Doherty and Luke Perry at the Universal Studios in Universal City, California (Photo by Ron Galella/WireImage)
Tori Spelling (Photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage)
Tori Spelling & Brian Austin Green (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)
THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO -- Episode 647 -- Pictured: (l-r) Actress Tori Spelling during an interview with host Jay Leno on March 7, 1995 -- (Photo by: Margaret Norton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
Tori Spelling (Photo by Jim Smeal/WireImage)
Tori Spelling at the Mann's Village Theater in Westwood, California (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)
Tori Spelling during Planet Hollywood Beverly Hills Grand Opening at Planet Hollywood in Beverly Hills, California, United States. (Photo by Jim Smeal/WireImage)
Tori Spelling (Photo by Steve Granitz Archive 1/WireImage)
Brian Austin Green, Gabrielle Carteris, Joe E. Tata, Vincent Young, Ian Ziering, Jennie Garth, Luke Perry & Tori Spelling (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic, Inc)
Tori Spelling (Photo by Jim Smeal/WireImage)
Tori Spelling (Photo by SGranitz/WireImage)
Tori Spelling (Photo by SGranitz/WireImage)
Tori Spelling during Women With Heart Auction At Christies at Christie's in Los Angeles, California, United States. (Photo by Iris/WireImage)
Tori Spelling (Photo by Tony Barson/WireImage)
Tori Spelling during 'Sol Goode' DVD Release Party at Club 1650 in Hollywood, California, United States. (Photo by Jean-Paul Aussenard/WireImage)
Jamie Kennedy & Tori Spelling during Jamie Kennedy Book Release Party at Shelter in West Hollywood, California, United States. (Photo by Barry King/WireImage)
Tori Spelling and Jason Priestley during 'Silver Spoon Dog and Baby Buffet Benefitting Much Love Animal Rescue - Day One at Private Residence in Beverly Hills, California, United States. (Photo by Jean-Paul Aussenard/WireImage for Silver Spoon (formerly The Cabana))
Tori Spelling, engaged to Charlie Shanian, shows her new ring at the Hollywood & Highland in Hollywood, California (Photo by Gregg DeGuire/WireImage)
Tori Spelling during CA Boom Opening Night Extravaganza at Santa Monica Civic Auditorium in Santa Monica, California, United States. (Photo by Chris Polk/FilmMagic)
Tori Spelling (r) and husband Charles Shanian during 16th Carousel of Hope Presented by Mercedes-Benz to Benefit the Barbara Davis Center for Childhood Diabetes - Arrivals at The Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, California, United States. (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK - FEBRUARY 05: Actress Tori Spelling attends the Ann Bowen Fall 2005 show during Olympus Fashion Week at Bryant Park February 5, 2005 in New York City. (Photo by Thos Robinson/Getty Images)
Tori Spelling during American Eagle Outfitters 'Live Your Life' Awards Celebration at American Eagle Outfitters Flagship Store in New York City, New York, United States. (Photo by Jemal Countess/WireImage)
Tori Spelling during VH1 Big in '05 - Red Carpet at Sony Studios in Los Angeles, California, United States. (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK - MARCH 31: Tori Spelling (L) and Dean McDermott (R) attend Tori Spelling promoting her new VH1 scripted comedy 'So Notorious' at XL Lounge March 31, 2006 in New York City. (Photo by Amy Sussman/Getty Images)
Tori Spelling (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage)
Tori Spelling at Principessa during 2007 Silver Spoon Golden Globes Suite - Day 2 in Los Angeles, California, United States. (Photo by Matthew Simmons/WireImage for Silver Spoon (formerly The Cabana))
NEW YORK - NOVEMBER 09: Tori Spelling and Dean McDermott arrive at the 2007 Out 100 Awards at Cipriani Wall Street on Novemeber 9, 2007 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 09: Tori Spelling and daughter Stella at the launch of TotSpot.com sponsored by Little Tikes and benefiting Generation Rescue at the Treehouse Social Club. (Photo by Chris Polk/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK - FEBRUARY 19: Actress Tori Spelling poses backstage at Christian Siriano Fall 2009 during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at The Salon in Bryant Park on February 19, 2009 in New York City. (Photo by Steve Mack/FilmMagic)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - FEBRUARY 27: Actress Tori Spelling arrives at the 19th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation's Oscar viewing party held at the Pacific Design Center on February 27, 2011 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JULY 16: Actress Tori Spelling attends the 29th annual Gay & Lesbian Film Festival's premiere of 'Hoarders: Untold sTORI' at John Anson Ford Amphitheatre on July 16, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - APRIL 21: Tori Spelling attends the 17th Annual Los Angeles Times Festival Of Books - Day 1 at USC on April 21, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jonathan Leibson/FilmMagic)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - MAY 10: Actress Tori Spelling and children Finn Davey McDermott (L) and Hattie Margaret McDermott attend The Helping Hand of Los Angeles' Annual Mother's Day Luncheon at the Beverly Hills Hotel on May 10, 2013 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 24: Tori Spelling attends the 'Mystery Girls' Screening hosted by The Moms at Park Avenue Screening Room on June 24, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by John Lamparski/WireImage)
CULVER CITY, CA - AUGUST 22: Tori Spelling attends the LG 'Fam To Table' series at The Washbow on August 22, 2015 in Culver City, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)
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