Meghan McCain continues to mourn death of father in heartbreaking post

Nearly three months after the death of her father, Senator John McCain, Meghan McCain says her sorrow is as "awful" as ever, describing the pain as "sharp and primal."

On Sunday, the 33-year-old co-host of The View shared a photo on Instagram of the longtime politician in the kitchen and lovingly remembered weekends spent having coffee and breakfast with her dad.

"Eighty-four days without you," she wrote of the war hero, who lost his battle to brain cancer in August at the age of 81. "You used to get up early in the morning and go get us all Starbucks in town in the Cottonwood Safeway and then come home and make eggs and bacon. You always had a giant venti cappuccino. We would eat on the porch and talk about life and politics while you read the newspaper and watched out for the hawks to fly by."

Meghan continued, contemplating how one can "go from talking to someone seven times a day to never."

"I want to tell you about everything and get your opinion on everything - just like we used to do," she shared. "It is still so indescribably surreal to go through the motions of life without sharing all of it with you - like some awful parallel universe I fell into. The pain of missing you and the grief that comes with it continues to be sharp and primal. Some waves are more intense than others but they come every day relentlessly. Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me."

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84 days without you. You used to get up early in the morning and go get us all Starbucks in town in the Cottonwood Safeway and then come home and make eggs and bacon. You always had a giant venti cappuccino. We would eat on the porch and talk about life and politics while you read the newspaper and watched out for the hawks to fly by. I want to tell you about everything and get your opinion on everything - just like we used to do. I don’t know how you go from talking to someone seven times a day to never. It is still so indescribably surreal to go through the motions of life without sharing all of it with you - like some awful parallel universe I fell into. The pain of missing you and the grief that comes with it continues to be sharp and primal. Some waves are more intense than others but they come every day relentlessly. Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me. I fight on because that is what you told me I had to do and demanded of me. I know you made me so tough and strong with the intensity that only you could have purposefully - and for that I am the most grateful. You raised me “Don’t let the bastards grind you down” you always said. Thank you for always, always being on my team and for being my best friend. I love you forever. To anyone else in my place or those who are not - I wish we wouldn’t put time limits or rules on grief, we all do it differently in different ways. I shared my father on social media while he was here (and he loved it) and I choose to continue sharing him now that he is not. There’s always the unfollow button if recognizing the impact of death and loss makes anyone uncomfortable. ♥️

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The emotional TV co-host elaborated on her strength and ability to be a fighter, crediting her father for making her "tough and strong." 

"I fight on because that is what you told me I had to do and demanded of me," she added. "I know you made me so tough and strong with the intensity that only you could have purposefully - and for that I am the most grateful. You raised me “Don’t let the bastards grind you down” you always said. Thank you for always, always being on my team and for being my best friend. I love you forever."

Meghan concluded with a few general thoughts on grief, encouraging those who feel uncomfortable by her posts about her father to simply click unfollow. 

"To anyone else in my place or those who are not - I wish we wouldn’t put time limits or rules on grief, we all do it differently in different ways," she said. "I shared my father on social media while he was here (and he loved it) and I choose to continue sharing him now that he is not. There’s always the unfollow button if recognizing the impact of death and loss makes anyone uncomfortable."

The Raising McCain author hasn't been shy about publicly mourning the death of her father, sharing a series of posts on social media -- a move that may prove therapeutic for some struggling with grief.

She honored her dad and celebrated naval aviator on Veterans Day with a photo of him, writing, "I miss you so much Dad, thank you for showing me what fighting for something greater than yourself means."

Meghan has been counting the days since her father's death, sharing in late October that she misses John's laugh, voice, "dark sense of humor" and "the way you always made me feel safe in a world that seems to have lost its way." She also addressed those everyday nuances like his affinity for Beach Boys tunes, John Wayne movies and old Far Side T-shirts.

"Sixty-six days," she wrote. "I wake up every morning still instinctually trying and reaching to call you on the phone. I miss you so much Dad it physically hurts my heart."

Earlier that month, Meghan visited her dad's grave site at the United States Naval Academy Cemetery in Annapolis, Maryland, sharing that Sundays are often the hardest for her. 

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I miss you the most on Sunday.

A post shared by Meghan McCain (@meghanmccain) on

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Moments from John McCain's Washington, D.C. memorial service
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Moments from John McCain's Washington, D.C. memorial service
UNITED STATES - SEPTEMBER 1: Cindy McCain, wife of the late Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., their daughter Meghan, sons Jimmy, a Marine, and Jack, a Naval officer, are seen as before the casket of the senator is brought into his funeral at the Washington National Cathedral on September 1, 2018. (Photo By Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call)
UNITED STATES - SEPTEMBER 1: The casket of late Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., is brought is into the Washington National Cathedral for his funeral on September 1, 2018. (Photo By Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call)
UNITED STATES - SEPTEMBER 1: Sen. Kamala Harris, D-Calif., and John Kerry, former senator and secretary of state, arrive for the funeral of the late Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., at the Washington National Cathedral on September 1, 2018. (Photo By Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call)
UNITED STATES - SEPTEMBER 1: Roberta McCain, 106, the mother of of the late Sen. John McCain, R-Ariz., talks with former Vice President Joe Biden, before the senator's funeral at the Washington National Cathedral on September 1, 2018. (Photo By Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 01: Honor Guards removes the casket of Senator John McCain arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 1: The casket of Senator John McCain arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 01: Honor Guards removes the casket of Senator John McCain arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 01: Honor Guards removes the casket of Senator John McCain arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 01: Honor Guards removes the casket of Senator John McCain arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 01: Honor Guards removes the casket of Senator John McCain arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 01: Honor Guards removes the casket of Senator John McCain arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 01: Honor Guards removes the casket of Senator John McCain arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 1: Former U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 1: Former Senator Bill Bradley arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 1: Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI) has his bag checked by security as he arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 1: Jay Leno arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 01: Honor Guards removes the casket of Senator John McCain arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 1: Honor Guards carry the casket of Senator John McCain arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 1: Honor Guards carry the casket of Senator John McCain arrives at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images)
Meghan McCain, daughter of US Senator John McCain, speaks during a memorial service for her father at the Washington National Cathedral in Washington, DC, on September 1, 2018. (Photo by SAUL LOEB / AFP) (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
Meghan McCain, daughter of US Senator John McCain, speaks during a memorial service for her father at the Washington National Cathedral in Washington, DC, on September 1, 2018. (Photo by SAUL LOEB / AFP) (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
People attend a memorial service for US Senator John McCain at the Washington National Cathedral in Washington, DC, on September 1, 2018. (Photo by SAUL LOEB / AFP) (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
Former US Senator Joe Lieberman speaks during a memorial service for US Senator John McCain at the Washington National Cathedral in Washington, DC, on September 1, 2018. (Photo by SAUL LOEB / AFP) (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
Former US Senator Joe Lieberman speaks during a memorial service for US Senator John McCain at the Washington National Cathedral in Washington, DC, on September 1, 2018. (Photo by SAUL LOEB / AFP) (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 1: The casket of U.S. Sen. John McCain sits in the nave during the funeral service at the National Cathedral on September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. The late senator died August 25 at the age of 81 after a long battle with brain cancer. McCain will be buried at his final resting place at the U.S. Naval Academy. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)
(L-R) Former US President Bill Clinton, former First Lady Hillary Clinton, former Vice President Dick Cheney, Lynne Cheney and former US Vice President Al Gore attend a memorial service for US Senator John McCain at the Washington National Cathedral in Washington, DC, on September 1, 2018. (Photo by SAUL LOEB / AFP) (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
Former senator Joe Lieberman speaks at the memorial service of U.S. Senator John McCain (R-AZ) at National Cathedral in Washington, U.S., September 1, 2018. REUTERS/Chris Wattie
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 1: Former Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge (2nd from L) and former U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry (C) arrive at the Washington National Cathedral for the funeral service for the late Senator John McCain, September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. Former presidents Barack Obama and George W. Bush are set to deliver eulogies for McCain in front of the 2,500 invited guests. McCain will be buried on Sunday at the U.S. Naval Academy Cemetery. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
Former US President George W. Bush speaks during a memorial service for US Senator John McCain at the Washington National Cathedral in Washington, DC, on September 1, 2018. (Photo by SAUL LOEB / AFP) (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
Former US President George W. Bush speaks during a memorial service for US Senator John McCain at the Washington National Cathedral in Washington, DC, on September 1, 2018. (Photo by SAUL LOEB / AFP) (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 1: Former U.S. President Barack Obama speaks at the funeral service for U.S. Sen. John McCain at the National Cathedral on September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. The late senator died August 25 at the age of 81 after a long battle with brain cancer. McCain will be buried at his final resting place at the U.S. Naval Academy. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)
Former US President Barack Obama speaks during a memorial service for US Senator John McCain at the Washington National Cathedral in Washington, DC, on September 1, 2018. (Photo by SAUL LOEB / AFP) (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
Former U.S. President Barack Obama speaks at the memorial service of U.S. Senator John McCain (R-AZ) at National Cathedral in Washington, U.S., September 1, 2018. REUTERS/Chris Wattie
Photographer David Hume Kennerly works at the memorial service of U.S. Senator John McCain (R-AZ) at National Cathedral in Washington, U.S., September 1, 2018. REUTERS/Chris Wattie
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