Michelle Obama talks dating Barack Obama, a royal faux pas and her daughter's prom night in new memoir

Michelle Obama's memoir, Becoming, is giving fans a peek inside the former first lady's life.

In the highly anticipated book, which was released on Tuesday, the 54-year-old opens up about how she came to be, the beginning of her relationship with Barack Obama and their life inside and outside the White House.

Keep reading for some of the biggest revelations in Becoming.

1. Barack Obama did not make a great first impression

The future first couple met when Michelle was assigned to mentor Barack, whom she describes as "a hot shot law student," at her Chicago law firm. Michelle found herself skeptical of the wunderkind reputation Barack had amassed before his arrival.

"I was doubtful he’d earned the hype. I’d checked out his photo in the summer edition of our staff directory -- a less-than-flattering, poorly lit head shot of a guy with a big smile and a whiff of geekiness -- and remained unmoved," she admits. "His bio said he was originally from Hawaii, which at least made him a comparatively exotic geek."

With the exception of his "rich, even sexy, baritone" voice, which she heard in a phone call prior to his arrival, Barack didn't curry much favor with Michelle, especially when he showed up late on the first day. After apologizing and a tour of the office, the pair went to a fancy lunch. Though it went well, Michelle didn't see a future with the guy.

"Not once... did I think about him as someone I’d want to date. For one thing, I was his mentor at the firm. I’d also recently sworn off dating altogether, too consumed with work to put any effort into it," she writes. "And finally, appallingly, at the end of lunch Barack lit a cigarette, which would have been enough to snuff any interest, if I’d had any to begin with.”

2. Michelle initially tried to set Barack up with her friends 

During that summer, Michelle brought Barack with her to a happy hour that served as "an unofficial monthly mixer for black professionals." He immediately started talking to "a beautiful and high-powered" acquaintance of Michelle's, which was somewhat surprising to her due to his choice of non-work clothes.

"[He] was wearing a white linen blazer that looked as if it’d come straight out of the Miami Vice costume closet. Ah well," she writes. "There was no arguing with the fact that even with his challenged sense of style, Barack was a catch. He was good-looking, poised, and successful. He was athletic, interesting, and kind. What more could anyone want?”

The set-up did not go well, conversations about movies and horseback riding falling flat.

“He shot me a look, implying that he’d like to be rescued," she recalls. "But he was a grown man. I let him rescue himself.”

3. Barack was persistent in his desire to date Michelle

Though Michelle began developing feelings for Barack, she didn't think that would change anything.

"Whether I was going to admit it or not, though, something between us had started to change," she writes. "On days when we were too busy to check in face-to-face, I found myself wondering what he’d been up to. I talked myself out of being disappointed when he didn’t surface in my office doorway. I talked myself out of being too excited when he did. I had feelings for the guy, but they were latent, buried deep beneath my resolve to keep my life and career tidy and forward focused -- free from any drama."

But that "deadly combination of smooth and reasonable" eventually worked its magic and, after a couple of firm-related outings together, the couple kissed at a Baskin-Robbins. "I leaned in and everything felt clear," she writes.

“As soon as I allowed myself to feel anything for Barack, the feelings came rushing -- a toppling blast of lust, gratitude, fulfillment, wonder," she says. "Any worries I’d been harboring about my life and career and even about Barack himself seemed to fall away with that first kiss, replaced by a driving need to know him better, to explore and experience everything about him as fast as I could.”

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4. Barack and Michelle struggled with fertility

Despite being "two committed go-getters with a deep love and a robust work ethic," the couple struggled to conceive. Michelle calls their trouble with starting a family "as surprising as it was disappointing." For a while, Michelle assumed that their conflicting schedules were to blame.

"Our attempts at procreation took place not in service of important monthly hormonal markers but rather in concert with the Illinois legislative schedule. This, I figured, was one thing we could try to fix," she writes. "But our adjustments didn’t work, even with Barack flooring it up the interstate after a late vote so that he could hit my ovulation window and even after the Senate went into its summer recess and he was home and available full-time."

Michelle began treating getting pregnant "like a mission," one she succeeded in before eventually miscarrying. That miscarriage left her "physically uncomfortable and cratered any optimism we'd felt."

"A miscarriage is lonely, painful, and demoralizing almost on a cellular level," she writes. "When you have one, you will likely mistake it for a personal failure, which it is not. Or a tragedy, which, regardless of how utterly devastating it feels in the moment, it also is not. What nobody tells you is that miscarriage happens all the time, to more women than you’d ever guess, given the relative silence around it."

After going to fertility doctors and being unable to discern why she couldn't get pregnant, Michelle and Barack opted for in vitro fertilization, something she says was akin to "a high-stakes lottery ticket, only with science involved."

With Barack away at the state legislature, Michelle was left to issue herself the necessary shots for the fertility treatment, a memory that she marks as the "first flicker of resentment involving politics and Barack's unshakable commitment to the work."

"None of this was his fault, but it wasn’t equal, either, and for any woman who lives by the mantra that equality is important, this can be a little confusing," she writes. "It was me who’d alter everything, putting my passions and career dreams on hold, to fulfill this piece of our dream."

But that all changed about eight weeks later when Michelle successfully got pregnant.

"Suddenly the responsibility and relative sacrifice meant something completely different, like a landscape taking on new colors, or all the furniture in a house being rearranged so that now everything appeared perfectly in place," she writes. "I walked around with a secret inside me. This was my privilege, the gift of being female. I felt bright with the promise of what I carried."

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Michelle Obama after the White House
NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 11: (L-R) Michelle Obama and Hota Kotb Celebrate International Day of the Girl on NBC's 'TODAY' at Rockefeller Plaza on October 11, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Debra L Rothenberg/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 11: (L-R) Karlie Kloss, Zendaya, Kelly Clarkson, Freida Pinto,and Michelle Obama ainor take a selfie while they Celebrate International Day of the Girl on NBC's 'TODAY' at Rockefeller Plaza on October 11, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Debra L Rothenberg/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 11: Michelle Obama Celebrates International Day of the Girl on NBC's 'TODAY' at Rockefeller Plaza on October 11, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Debra L Rothenberg/FilmMagic)
CORAL GABLES, FL - SEPTEMBER 28: Former First Lady Michelle Obama speaks during a 'When We All Vote Rally' in Miami at the Watsco Center at the University of Miami on September 28, 2018 in Carol Gables, Florida. (Photo by Thaddaeus McAdams/FilmMagic)
CORAL GABLES, FL - SEPTEMBER 28: Former United States of America First Lady Michelle Obama speaks during a 'When We All Vote Rally' in Miami at the Watsco Center at the University of Miami on September 28, 2018 in Carol Gables, Florida. (Photo by Johnny Louis/FilmMagic)
CORAL GABLES, FL - SEPTEMBER 28: Former United States of America First Lady Michelle Obama is seen participating in the 'When We All Vote Rally' at Watsco Center at the University of Miami on September 28, 2018 in Coral Gables, Florida. (Photo by Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images)
LAS VEGAS, NV - SEPTEMBER 23: Former first lady Michelle Obama speaks during a rally for When We All Vote's National Week of Action at Chaparral High School on September 23, 2018 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Obama is the founder and a co-chairwoman of the organization that aims to help people register and to vote. Early voting for the 2018 midterm elections in Nevada begins on October 20. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 1: (L-R) Former U.S. President Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, former U.S. Vice President Al Gore, and former U.S. President George W. Bush arrive for the funeral service for U.S. Sen. John McCain at the National Cathedral on September 1, 2018 in Washington, DC. The late senator died August 25 at the age of 81 after a long battle with brain cancer. McCain will be buried at his final resting place at the U.S. Naval Academy. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)
NEW ORLEANS, LA - JUNE 22: Former First Lady of the United States Michelle Obama speaks during the Opening General Session of the 2018 American Library Association Annual Conference at Ernest N. Morial Convention Center on June 22, 2018 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Erika Goldring/WireImage)
NEW ORLEANS, LA - JUNE 21: Former First Lady of the United States Michelle Obama speaks during the Opening General Session of the 2018 American Library Association Annual Conference at Ernest N. Morial Convention Center on June 21, 2018 in New Orleans, Louisiana. (Photo by Erika Goldring/WireImage)
WASHINGTON, DC - JUNE 14: Former First Lady Michelle Obama talks to the audience at the Reach Higher Initiative Beating the Odds Summit to support first-generation college-bound students on June 14, 2018 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Shannon Finney/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Former First Lady of The United States Michelle Obama at The United State of Women Summit 2018 - Day 1 on May 5, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Rodin Eckenroth/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - MAY 05: Former First Lady of The United States Michelle Obama (L) and actress Tracee Ellis Ross have a conversation on stage at The United State of Women Summit 2018 - Day 1 on May 5, 2018 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Rodin Eckenroth/Getty Images)
Former US first lady Michelle Obama (L) and actress/activist Tracee Ellis Ross attend the United State of Women Summit at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, on May 5, 2018. (Photo by CHRIS DELMAS / AFP) (Photo credit should read CHRIS DELMAS/AFP/Getty Images)
Michelle Obama is joined by students, stars, performing artists and athletes for the fifth annual College Signing Day, hosted by Reach Higher, at Temple Universitys Liacouras Center in North Philadelphia, on May 2, 2018. The Former First Lady is joined by 7.000 students and (on stage) stars, performing artists and athletes including Bradley Cooper, Rebel Wilson, Zendaya, Robert De Niro, Camila Cabello, Questlove, Anthony Mackie and Janelle Monae. (Photo by Bastiaan Slabbers/NurPhoto via Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 27: Michelle Obama attends MUSE New York 2018 at One World Observatory on February 27, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Ryan Emberley/Getty Images for Klick Inc.)
WASHINGTON, DC - FEBRUARY 12: Former First Lady Michelle Obama and former President Barack Obama are seen after their portraits were unveiled at the Smithsonian National Portrait Gallery on Monday February 12, 2018 in Washington, DC. The former President's portrait was painted by Kehinde Wiley while the former First Lady's portrait was painted by Amy Sherald. (Photo by Matt McClain/The Washington Post via Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - FEBRUARY 12: Former U.S. first lady Michelle Obama participates in the unveiling of her official portrait during a ceremony at the Smithsonian's National Portrait Gallery, on February 12, 2018 in Washington, DC. The portraits were commissioned by the Gallery, for Kehinde Wiley to create President Obama's portrait, and Amy Sherald that of Michelle Obama. (Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)
Former US First Lady Michelle Obama stands before her portrait by artist Amy Sherald after an unveiling at the Smithsonian's National Portrait Gallery in Washington, DC, February 12, 2018. / AFP PHOTO / SAUL LOEB / RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE - MANDATORY MENTION OF THE ARTIST UPON PUBLICATION - TO ILLUSTRATE THE EVENT AS SPECIFIED IN THE CAPTION (Photo credit should read SAUL LOEB/AFP/Getty Images)
(Center L-R): Kristen Perry of Chicago, Ill., former First Lady Of the U.S. Michelle Obama, and other school counselors, pose for a photo after the 2018 School Counselor of the Year awards ceremony, at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, D.C., on Friday, Feb. 2, 2018. (Photo by Cheriss May) (Photo by Cheriss May/NurPhoto via Getty Images)
Former First Lady Of the U.S. Michelle Obama presented the 2018 School Counselor of the Year award to Kristen Perry of Chicago, Ill., at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington, D.C., on Friday, Feb. 2, 2018. (Photo by Cheriss May) (Photo by Cheriss May/NurPhoto via Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - FEBRUARY 02: Michelle Obama, former First Lady of the United States, honors the 2018 School Counselor of Year at a special celebration at The Kennedy Center on February 2, 2018 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Paul Morigi/Getty Images)
Former first lady Michelle Obama speaks at the Obama Foundation Summit in Chicago, Illinois, November 1, 2017. / AFP PHOTO / Jim Young (Photo credit should read JIM YOUNG/AFP/Getty Images)
Former first lady Michelle Obama speaks at the Obama Foundation Summit in Chicago, Illinois, November 1, 2017. / AFP PHOTO / Jim Young (Photo credit should read JIM YOUNG/AFP/Getty Images)
Former first lady Michelle Obama speaks with poet Elizabeth Alexander at the Obama Foundation Summit in Chicago, Illinois, November 1, 2017. / AFP PHOTO / Jim Young (Photo credit should read JIM YOUNG/AFP/Getty Images)
Former First Lady Michelle Obama (L) holds hands with poet Elizabeth Alexander at the Obama Foundation Summit in Chicago, Illinois, November 1, 2017. / AFP PHOTO / Jim Young (Photo credit should read JIM YOUNG/AFP/Getty Images)
Former First Lady Michelle Obama laughs during the Obama Foundation Summit in Chicago, Illinois, November 1, 2017. / AFP PHOTO / Jim Young (Photo credit should read JIM YOUNG/AFP/Getty Images)
Former US President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle arrive at the Obama Foundation Summit in Chicago, Illinois, October 31, 2017. / AFP PHOTO / Jim Young (Photo credit should read JIM YOUNG/AFP/Getty Images)
CHICAGO, IL - OCTOBER 31: Former first Lady Michelle and former president Barack Obama are introduced at the inaugural Obama Foundation Summit on October 31, 2017 in Chicago, Illinois. The two-day event will feature a mix of community leaders politicians and artists exploring creative solutions to common problems, and experiencing art, technology, and music from around the world. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
Former US President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle arrive at the Obama Foundation Summit in Chicago, Illinois, October 31, 2017. / AFP PHOTO / Jim Young (Photo credit should read JIM YOUNG/AFP/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 25: Michelle Obama speaks onstage The Streicker Center hosts a Special Evening with Former First Lady Michelle Obama at The Streicker Center on October 25, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 25: Michelle Obama (L) and David Letterman speak onstage as The Streicker Center hosts a Special Evening with Former First Lady Michelle Obama at The Streicker Center on October 25, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 25: Michelle Obama (L) and David Letterman speak onstage as The Streicker Center hosts a Special Evening with Former First Lady Michelle Obama at The Streicker Center on October 25, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by Michael Kovac/Getty Images)
PHILADELPHIA, PA - OCTOBER 03: Former First Lady of the United States Michelle Obama watches the surprise video message from her husband Former President of the United States Barack Obama during Pennsylvania Conference For Women 2017 at Pennsylvania Convention Center on October 3, 2017 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Marla Aufmuth/Getty Images for Pennsylvania Conference for Women)
PHILADELPHIA, PA - OCTOBER 03: Former First Lady of the United States Michelle Obama and Screenwriter, director and producer Shonda Rhimes speak on stage during Pennsylvania Conference For Women 2017 at Pennsylvania Convention Center on October 3, 2017 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Marla Aufmuth/Getty Images for Pennsylvania Conference for Women)
DENVER, CO - JULY 25: Former First Lady Michelle Obama speaks, emphasizing that women must celebrate their strength, during a live conversation with The Women's Foundation of Colorado President and CEO Lauren Y. Casteel at Pepsi Center on July 25, 2017 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Jason Bahr/Getty Images for The Women's Foundation of Colorado)
PHILADELPHIA, PA - OCTOBER 03: Screenwriter, director and producer Shonda Rhimes and Former First Lady of the United States Michelle Obama pose for a photo together during Pennsylvania Conference For Women 2017 at Pennsylvania Convention Center on October 3, 2017 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Marla Aufmuth/Getty Images for Pennsylvania Conference for Women)
DENVER, CO - JULY 25: Former First Lady Michelle Obama speaks, emphasizing that women must celebrate their strength, during a live conversation with The Women's Foundation of Colorado at Pepsi Center on July 25, 2017 in Denver, Colorado. (Photo by Jason Bahr/Getty Images for The Women's Foundation of Colorado)
THE 25TH ESPYS - Theatre - The world's best athletes and biggest stars join host Peyton Manning for 'The 25th ESPYS presented by Capital One' live from the Microsoft Theater on WEDNESDAY, JULY 12 (8:00-11:00 p.m. EDT) on ABC. (Photo by Image Group LA/ABC via Getty Images) MICHELLE OBAMA
LOS ANGELES, CA - JULY 12: Former First Lady Michelle Obama (C) speaks onstage with Special Olympics athletes at The 2017 ESPYS at Microsoft Theater on July 12, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
WASHINGTON, DC - MAY 7: Former U.S. President Barack Obama receives the 2017 John F. Kennedy Profile In Courage Award from Caroline Kennedy as Michelle Obama and Jack Schlossberg look on at the John F. Kennedy Library May 7, 2017 in Boston, Massachusetts. Obama was honored for 'his enduring commitment to democratic ideals and elevating the standard of political courage in a new century,' with specific mention of his expansion of healthcare options, his leadership on confronting climate change and his restoration of diplomatic relations with Cuba. (Photo by CJ Gunther-Pool/Getty Images)
CHICAGO, IL - MAY 03: Former President Barack Obama and his wife Michelle arrive for a roundtable discussion at the South Shore Cultural Center about the Obama Presidential Center, which is scheduled to be built in nearby Jackson Park, on May 3, 2017 in Chicago, Illinois. The Presidential Center design envisions three buildings, a museum, library and forum. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
CHICAGO, IL - MAY 03: Former first lady Michelle Obama and Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel arrive for a roundtable discussion at the South Shore Cultural Center about the Obama Presidential Center, which is scheduled to be built in nearby Jackson Park, on May 3, 2017 in Chicago, Illinois. The Presidential Center design envisions three buildings, a museum, library and forum. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
ORLANDO, FL - APRIL 27: Former United States first lady Michelle Obama waves and greets the audience during the AIA Conference on Architecture 2017 on April 27, 2017 in Orlando, Florida. Michelle Obama is making one of her first public speeches at the Orlando Conference since leaving the White House. (Photo by Gerardo Mora/Getty Images)
ORLANDO, FL - APRIL 27: Former United States first lady Michelle Obama speaks during the AIA Conference on Architecture 2017 on April 27, 2017 in Orlando, Florida. Michelle Obama is making one of her first public speeches at the Orlando Conference since leaving the White House. (Photo by Gerardo Mora/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 10: Michelle Obama leaves Upland restaurant on March 10, 2017 in New York City. (Photo by James Devaney/GC Images)
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5. Michelle bonded with Queen Elizabeth over hurt feet, made a major royal faux pas

During her first visit to Buckingham Palace -- which she calls "breathtaking and incomprehensible" -- for the G20 Summit, Michelle had her first of many interactions with the queen. After their private audience, the two eventually met up again at a reception for world leaders. The queen -- whom Michelle liked "immediately" -- approached the first lady during the event and told her, "You're so tall."

Michelle accepted the remark, commenting that her Jimmy Choo heels gave her "a couple of inches." After looking down at Michelle's feet the queen questioned, "These shoes are unpleasant, are they not?"

"I confessed then to the Queen that my feet were hurting. She confessed that hers hurt, too. We looked at each other then with identical expressions, like, When is all this standing around with world leaders going to finally wrap up? And with this, she busted out with a fully charming laugh," Michelle writes. "Forget that she sometimes wore a diamond crown and that I’d flown to London on the presidential jet; we were just two tired ladies oppressed by our shoes."

That interaction, though, escalated into an "epic faux pas" when Michelle touched the queen's shoulder. Media reports circulated, speculating that Michelle was "generally uncouth and lacking the standard elegance of a First Lady." Michelle, though, didn't particularly regret the royal exchange.

"If I hadn’t done the proper thing at Buckingham Palace, I had at least done the human thing," she writes. "I daresay that the Queen was okay with it, too, because when I touched her, she only pulled closer, resting a gloved hand lightly on the small of my back."

6. Malia Obama begged her parents to "be cool" on prom night

At age 16, the eldest first daughter told her parents that she had been invited to prom "by a boy she kind of liked." Though usually a no-no due to security, Malia was being allowed to ride with her date to the prom. When he arrived to the White House to pick her up -- taking the path "heads of state and other visiting dignitaries normally arrived" -- Malia implored her parents -- Michelle with bare feet and Barack in flip-flops -- "Just be cool please, okay?"

By Michelle's account, she and Barack managed to "play it cool," though Malia still laughs and calls the experience "a bit excruciating."

"Barack and I shook the young man’s hand, snapped a few pictures, and gave our daughter a hug before sending them on their way," Michelle writes of her daughter and black suit-clad date. "We took what was perhaps unfair comfort in the knowledge that Malia’s security detail would basically ride the boy’s bumper all the way to the restaurant where they were going for dinner before the dance and would remain on quiet duty throughout the night."

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