Tracee Ellis Ross says she's happy to be '45, single and childless'

Tracee Ellis Ross is loving the single life!

The 45-year-old Black-ish actress covers InStyle's November issue -- due out Oct. 12 -- and dishes on her life, how she decompresses and growing up with a famous mom.

"It’s sort of fascinating to be 45 and single and childless,” she tells the magazine. “Happily single, I should add. Not at home crying about it."

Though she thinks "these are very big and very personal questions that aren’t anyone’s business but that somehow, like the right to choose, become fodder for public conversation," Ross feels a need to sort of defend herself and her choices. 

"Some of the ability to reflect on what I really want comes from pushing up against a society that shames me for not having the expected trappings," she says. "I’m very pleased with my existence these days. Have I had to learn to make friends with loneliness? Yes. I think if I were in a relationship, it would be the same.”

Ross practices what she calls "choiceful solitude," something she fully embraces.

9 PHOTOS
Tracee Ellis Ross out and about
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Tracee Ellis Ross out and about
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 11: Tracee Ellis Ross seen out and about in Manhattan on June 11, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Robert Kamau/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 11: Tracee Ellis Ross is seen in Manhattan on June 11, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Robert Kamau/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 04: Fashion designer Wes Gordon and actress Tracee Ellis Ross are seen arriving to the 2018 CFDA Fashion Awards at Brooklyn Museum on June 4, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 07: Tracee Ellis Ross and Donald Glover attend the Heavenly Bodies: Fashion & The Catholic Imagination Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 7, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/MG18/Getty Images for The Met Museum/Vogue)
Former US first lady Michelle Obama (L) and actress/activist Tracee Ellis Ross attend the United State of Women Summit at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles, on May 5, 2018. (Photo by CHRIS DELMAS / AFP) (Photo credit should read CHRIS DELMAS/AFP/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 04: Actor Sarah Paulson, Actor Claire Danes, and Actor Tracee Ellis Ross attend the Prada Resort 2019 fashion show on May 4, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Jared Siskin/Getty Images)
BLACK-ISH - The cast and executive producers of ABC's critically-acclaimed hit comedy 'black-ish' attended the ABC Studios 'For Your Consideration' event at The Walt Disney Studios in Burbank, CA on Saturday, April 28, 2018. (Aaron Poole via Getty Images) TRACEE ELLIS ROSS
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 03: Tracee Ellis Ross is seen in the Upper West Side on May 3, 2018 in New York City. (Photo by Gotham/GC Images)
BLACK-ISH - 'Dream Home' - Dre and Bow are living separate lives and switching off with the kids. They start to realize how much they relied on each other and how hard it is being on their own. Dre gets his sleek, ultra-modern dream house in the canyon with all the amenities, and Bow doesn't think it's suitable for the kids, on the season finale of 'black-ish,' TUESDAY, MAY 15 (9:00-9:30 p.m. EDT), on The ABC Television Network. (Ron Tom/ABC via Getty Images) TRACEE ELLIS ROSS
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“To get me out of the house is not so easy,” she says. “I lose my social ability after 9 o’clock. My friends joke about it: You could be on a dance floor with me and we are [dancing] and you turn around and I’m gone.”

Despite her homebody tendencies, Ross' non-stop career still makes it a necessity for her to practice real self-care.

“The ‘I woke up like this’ thing? Bullsh*t! Black-ish is in HD, darling! There’s no Vaseline on the lenses. At 18 I might have woken up like this. At 45 I f*cking work for it," she says. "I love potato chips more than anything in the world, and so I work out hard. I put masks on my face. I take care of myself. And, by the way, to me self-care does not mean going to the spa. It’s learning to say no. It’s knowing yourself so you can make choices that are an expression of you. That’s self-care.”

Tracee Ellis Ross

InStyle's November issue is on sale Oct. 12

Horst Diekgerdes

The self-care regimen has become more important for Ross in recent years as an outspoken advocate of the Time's Up and #MeToo movements. With all the on-going turbulence in the country, Ross had made it a point to look for the positives in every situation.

"If the U.S.A. were in a 12- step program, it would need a really big moral inventory," she says. "But one of the things that’s been special about this time is that there’s a space for one’s own unique experience in a way that there wasn’t always. The life promised by fairy tales and movies is not relevant in the same way -- the white picket fence, blah, blah, blah -- and there are more people telling stories that have different colors and flavors to them."

"When you can look at a story that is not in any way your story but see all the ways you identify, that’s art doing its job,” Ross adds.

With her important voice, constant humor and remarkable fashion sense, it's no wonder Ross came from someone as dynamic and special as her famous mother, Diana Ross. 

“As a kid I saw my mom as the lady in the sparkly dress on the stage who sang, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found the language to articulate that what I was seeing was a woman in her full glory being in connection with this gift she was given," Ross says. "Being glamorous and sexy but not in a way that’s ‘Look at me.’ We live in a ‘Look at me’ culture. I was raised to view sexy as being at the height of your ... self."

Ross certainly has a track record of being true to herself! When ET spoke to her at the Golden Globes back in January, she addressed her choice to wear a black turban to the awards show, something she did both for both herself and in honor of the Time's Up initiative. 

“I am obsessed with [it],” she said at the time. “I saw this Marc Jacobs turban on the runway when it walked down and…I said I will wear that turban! And so, it came true in a beautiful moment of solidarity and power that I could stand as a we but also in my own glory as an I.”

23 PHOTOS
Tracee Ellis Ross and Diana Ross at the 2017 AMAs
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Tracee Ellis Ross and Diana Ross at the 2017 AMAs
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Host Tracee Ellis Ross speaks onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Host Tracee Ellis Ross speaks onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Tracee Ellis Ross speaks onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Emma McIntyre/AMA2017/Getty Images for dcp)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Tracee Ellis Ross onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/AMA2017/FilmMagic for dcp)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Honoree Diana Ross performs onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Honoree Diana Ross (C) performs onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Guests, such as Smokey Robinson (R), Berry Gordy (4th L), host Tracee Ellis Ross (holding award trophy) and Evan Ross stand onstage as Rhonda Ross Kendrick (2nd L) presents the Lifetime Achievement award to honoree Diana Ross (C) during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Honoree Diana Ross performs onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Honoree Diana Ross performs onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Honoree Diana Ross attends the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Emma McIntyre/AMA2017/Getty Images for dcp)
2017 American Music Awards ? Arrivals ? Los Angeles, California, U.S., 19/11/2017 ? Actress Tracee Ellis Ross. REUTERS/Danny Moloshok
2017 American Music Awards ? Arrivals ? Los Angeles, California, U.S., 19/11/2017 ? Tracee Ellis Ross. REUTERS/Danny Moloshok
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Host Tracee Ellis Ross speaks onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Diana Ross attends the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Host Tracee Ellis Ross onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Chris Polk/AMA2017/Getty Images for dcp)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Tracee Ellis Ross backstage the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Emma McIntyre/AMA2017/Getty Images for dcp)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Host Tracee Ellis Ross speaks onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Tracee Ellis Ross poses backstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Emma McIntyre/AMA2017/Getty Images for dcp)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Host Tracee Ellis Ross speaks onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Host Tracee Ellis Ross speaks onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Host Tracee Ellis Ross speaks onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Host Tracee Ellis Ross speaks onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 19: Host Tracee Ellis Ross speaks onstage during the 2017 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 19, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
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