Ariana Grande shared on Friday a heartbreakingly vulnerable message to Mac Miller, one week after his unexpected death at age 26.
She posted the open letter on Instagram with an undated video taken before his passing. In the clip, the then-couple is seemingly out to dinner, and Miller is wearing a sweatshirt that reads "Everything will be okay."
"If we walk -- baby, stop!" Miller says, laughing, upon realizing she's recording him.
"It makes me happy!" Grande protests from behind the camera.
"I'll tell you the story as many times as you want," Miller replies. The video ends before he actually tells the story in question.
i adored you from the day i met you when i was nineteen and i always will. i can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. i really can’t wrap my head around it. we talked about this. so many times. i’m so mad, i’m so sad i don’t know what to do. you were my dearest friend. for so long. above anything else. i’m so sorry i couldn’t fix or take your pain away. i really wanted to. the kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved. i hope you’re okay now. rest.
A post shared by Ariana Grande (@arianagrande) on Sep 14, 2018 at 12:40pm PDT
The note begins, "I adored you from the day I met you when I was nineteen and I always will. I can’t believe you aren’t here anymore. I really can’t wrap my head around it."
She continues, "We talked about this. So many times. I’m so mad, I’m so sad I don’t know what to do. You were my dearest friend. For so long. Above anything else. I'm so sorry I couldn’t fix or take your pain away. I really wanted to. The kindest, sweetest soul with demons he never deserved. I hope you’re okay now. Rest."
Grande and Miller first met in 2012, around the time they collaborated on the hit song "My Way." They wouldn't begin publicly dating until 2016. The two called it quits in May 2018, and Grande subsequently alluded to a "toxic relationship" plagued by substance abuse.
Miller died of a reported overdose on Sept. 7.