Johnny Depp recalls being 'as low as I could have been' during personal and financial crisis

Johnny Depp is opening up about his legal troubles and financial woes, and trying to clear up some of the rampant rumors and speculation surrounding his tumultuous and shrouded personal life.

The Pirates of the Caribbean star sits down for a shockingly candid interview with Rolling Stone about some of the drama that has unfolded in his life -- including a highly public divorce from Amber Heard, numerous lawsuits and claims that he's hemorrhaging money.

"I was as low as I believe I could have gotten," Depp tells the publication, recalling his emotional state in the midst of his failed marriage and his simultaneously collapsing financial situation.

"The next step was, ‘You’re going to arrive somewhere with your eyes open and you’re going to leave with your eyes closed,’" he adds. "I couldn’t take the pain every day."

While his divorce from Heard was finalized in August 2016 -- following a contentious legal battle and Heard's allegations of spousal abuse, which Depp has vehemently denied --  his legal troubles continued to spiral.

In January 2017, Depp sued his former business managers, Joel and Robert Mandel of The Management Group (TMG), claiming they mishandled his money and cost him millions. 

The pair subsequently countersued and claimed Depp was the one who spent all his own money on extravagances. In their countersuit, TMG claimed that Depp spent $30,000 a month on just wine, and even had a sound engineer on his payroll to feed him lines while shooting his films, so he wouldn't have to learn them.

According to Depp's in-depth interview, the 55-year-old actor doesn't deny the reports about having a sound engineer on-hand, but claims it isn’t because he doesn't want to memorize a script. Rather, it's the engineer's job to play him specific sounds to allow his to convey emotions with his eyes.

"I’ve got bagpipes, a baby crying and bombs going off," Depp says. "It creates a truth. Some of my biggest heroes were in silent film… It had to be behind the eyes. And my feeling is, that if there’s no truth behind the eyes, doesn’t matter what the f**king words are."

As for his wine budget, Depp claims the reported figures are actually way less than what he really spent.

"It’s insulting to say I spent $30,000 on wine," Depp shares. "Because it was far more."

In TMG's lawsuit, they also claimed that Depp spent $3 million to have the ashes of his close friend, iconic journalist Hunter S. Thompson, blasted out from a specially designed cannon in Aspen, Colorado, following his death in Feb. 2005.

Depp -- who played Thompson in the 1998 drama Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas --- says that figure is also far too low.

"By the way, it was not $3 million to shoot Hunter into the f**king sky," Depp states. "It was $5 million."

The financial woes hit him emotionally as well, especially with regards to how it impacted his children -- daughter Lily-Rose, 19, and son Jack, 16 -- and their view of their father.

"My son had to hear about how his old man lost all his money from kids at school, that's not right," Depp says, getting emotional.

Finding himself depressed and feeling unable to "take the pain," Depp went on tour with his band, the Hollywood Vampires, and then decided to follow in the footsteps of his late friend, counterculture icon Thompson, by writing his memoirs on an old typewriter.

"I poured myself a vodka in the morning and started writing until the tears filled my eyes and I couldn’t see the pages anymore," Depp shares. "I kept trying to figure out what I’d done to deserve this. I tried being kind to everyone, helping everyone, being truthful to everyone… The truth is most important to me. And all this still happened."

Depp's candid interview with Rolling Stone is on stands now.

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LONDON, ENGLAND - JANUARY 19: Actors Johnny Depp (L) and Amber Heard attend the UK Premiere of 'Mortdecai' at Empire Leicester Square on January 19, 2015 in London, England. (Photo by Dave J Hogan/Getty Images)
LONDON, ENGLAND - JANUARY 19: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the UK Premiere of 'Mortdecai' at Empire Leicester Square on January 19, 2015 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are married!The lavish island wedding is still to come, but People reports that The Rum Diary co-stars made it official Tuesday, marrying each other at their home in Los Angeles.People reports that Depp, 51, and Heard, 28, signed the papers to become man and wife in advance of their ceremony this weekend on Depp's private island in the Bahamas.The couple got engaged over the holidays in 2012 after meeting on the set of The Rum Diary in 2011.
LONDON, ENGLAND - JANUARY 19: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the UK Premiere of 'Mortdecai' at Empire Leicester Square on January 19, 2015 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
LONDON, ENGLAND - JANUARY 19: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the UK Premiere of 'Mortdecai' at Empire Leicester Square on January 19, 2015 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
LONDON, ENGLAND - JANUARY 19: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the UK Premiere of 'Mortdecai' at Empire Leicester Square on January 19, 2015 in London, England. (Photo by Anthony Harvey/Getty Images)
US actor Johnny Depp (L), accompanied by his fiancee US actress and model Amber Heard (R), arrive at Tokyo International Airport on January 26, 2015 for the Japan premiere of his latest movie 'Mortdecai'. The action comedy movie will be screened in Japan from February 6. AFP PHOTO (Photo credit should read YOSHIKAZU TSUNO/AFP/Getty Images)
US actress and model Amber Heard, accompanied by her fiance US actor Johnny Depp (unseen), arrives at Tokyo International Airport on January 26, 2015 for the Japan premiere of his latest movie 'Mortdecai'. The action comedy movie will be screened in Japan from February 6. AFP PHOTO (Photo credit should read YOSHIKAZU TSUNO/AFP/Getty Images)
LONDON, ENGLAND - JANUARY 19: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the UK Premiere of 'Mortdecai' at Empire Leicester Square on January 19, 2015 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
LONDON, ENGLAND - JANUARY 19: (EDITORS NOTE: Retransmission of #461785548 with alternate crop.) Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the UK Premiere of 'Mortdecai' at Empire Leicester Square on January 19, 2015 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
US actor Johnny Depp (L) jokes with fiancee US actress and model Amber Heard (R) as they arrive for the UK premiere of the film 'Mortdecai' in London on January 19, 2015. AFP PHOTO / LEON NEAL (Photo credit should read LEON NEAL/AFP/Getty Images)
LONDON, ENGLAND - JANUARY 19: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the UK Premiere of 'Mortdecai' at Empire Leicester Square on January 19, 2015 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 15: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are seen at 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' on January 15, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by RB/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
SANTA MONICA, CA - JANUARY 10: Actor Johnny Depp and actress Amber Heard arrive at The Art Of Elysium 8th Annual Heaven Gala at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)
SANTA MONICA, CA - JANUARY 10: (L-R) Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the Art of Elysium and Samsung Galaxy Marina Abramovic's HEAVEN Gala at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Tibrina Hobson/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 10: Honoree Amber Heard (L) and actor Johnny Depp attend the 8th Annual HEAVEN Gala presented by Art of Elysium and Samsung Galaxy at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Art of Elysium)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 10: Actors Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the 8th Annual HEAVEN Gala presented by Art of Elysium and Samsung Galaxy at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Art of Elysium)
TOKYO, JAPAN - JANUARY 26: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are seen upon arrival at Haneda Airport on January 26, 2015 in Tokyo, Japan. (Photo by Jun Sato/GC Images)
TOKYO, JAPAN - JANUARY 26: Amber Heard is seen upon arrival at Haneda Airport on January 26, 2015 in Tokyo, Japan. (Photo by Jun Sato/GC Images)
SANTA MONICA, CA - JANUARY 10: Actors Johnny Depp (L) and Amber Heard attend the The Art Of Elysium 8th Annual Heaven Gala at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Santa Monica, California.(Photo by Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage)
SANTA MONICA, CA - JANUARY 10: Actor Johnny Depp and actress Amber Heard arrive at The Art Of Elysium 8th Annual Heaven Gala at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 15: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard are seen at 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' on January 15, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by RB/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 10: Honoree Amber Heard (L) and actor Johnny Depp attend the 8th Annual HEAVEN Gala presented by Art of Elysium and Samsung Galaxy at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Art of Elysium)
Actor Johnny Depp attends the cast of 'Benny & Joon' present Planet Hollywood with memorabilias from the film on March 22, 1993 at Planet Hollywood, California.
BEVERLY HILLS,CA - MARCH 25: Actor Johnny Depp attends the 'Benny & Joon' Beverly Hills Premiere on March 25, 1993 at the WGA Theatre in Beverly Hills, California. (photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage)
UNITED STATES - OCTOBER 01: Johnny Depp and Guest (Photo by The LIFE Picture Collection/Getty Images)
1988 File Photo of Johnny Depp at the Nosotros Benefit in Los Angeles, California taken May 13, 1988 in Los Angeles, California (Photo by Barry King/WireImage)
Nicolas Cage & Johnny Depp (Photo by Barry King/WireImage)
Actor Johnny Depp attends the 18th Annual Los Angeles Police/Celebrity Golf Tournament on May 14, 1988 at Rancho Park Golf Course in Los Angeles, California.
SHERMAN OAKS,CA - DECEMBER 13: Actor Dustin Nguyen, actor Johnny Depp and actor Peter DeLuise attend the FOX Television Stars Feed the Homeless on December 13, 1987 at Sherman Oaks Galleria in Sherman Oaks, California. (photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage)
POMPANO BEACH, FL - AUGUST 29: Johnny Depp greets fans after performing as part of the Sheila Witkin Memorial Reunion Concert at Club Cinema on August 29, 2008 in Pompano Beach, Florida. (Photo by Mike Franklin/FilmMagic)
UNITED STATES - AUGUST 22: Matthew Perry and Johnny Depp in New York to promote their first network series on the Fox Network in 1987 (Photo by Vinnie Zuffante/Getty Images)
LONDON - JANUARY 10: Johnny Depp attends the Sweeney Todd film premiere held at the Odeon Leicester Square on January 10, 2008 in London, England. (Photo by Eamonn McCormack/WireImage)
SANTA MONICA, CA - JANUARY 10: Johnny Depp; Amber Heard attend the The Art Of Elysium 8th Annual Heaven Gala at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Santa Monica, California.(Photo by JB Lacroix/WireImage)
SANTA MONICA, CA - JANUARY 10: Actors Johnny Depp and Amber Heard arrive at The Art Of Elysium's 8th Annual Heaven Gala at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Gregg DeGuire/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 10: Honoree Amber Heard (L) and actor Johnny Depp attend the 8th Annual HEAVEN Gala presented by Art of Elysium and Samsung Galaxy at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Art of Elysium)
SANTA MONICA, CA - JANUARY 10: Actors Johnny Depp and Amber Heard arrive at The Art Of Elysium's 8th Annual Heaven Gala at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Gregg DeGuire/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 10: Honoree Amber Heard (L) and actor Johnny Depp attend the 8th Annual HEAVEN Gala presented by Art of Elysium and Samsung Galaxy at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images for Art of Elysium)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 10: Actor Johnny Depp (L) presents the Spirit of Elysium award to honoree Amber Heard during the 8th Annual HEAVEN Gala presented by Art of Elysium and Samsung Galaxy at Hangar 8 on January 10, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Michael Buckner/Getty Images for Art of Elysium)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 05: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the 'Charles James: Beyond Fashion' Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 5, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 05: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the 'Charles James: Beyond Fashion' Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 5, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 05: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard attend the 'Charles James: Beyond Fashion' Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 5, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by George Pimentel/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - FEBRUARY 12: Actor Johnny Depp (L) and his fiancee actress Amber Heard arrive at the premiere of Relativity Media's '3 Days To Kill' at the Arclight Theatre on February 12, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - FEBRUARY 12: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard arrives at the '3 Days To Kill' at ArcLight Cinemas on February 12, 2014 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage)
Actor Johnny Depp kisses actress Amber Heard as they attend the US premiere of '3 Days To Kill,' at Arclight Cinemas, February 12, 2014 in Hollywood, California. AFP PHOTO ROBYN BECK (Photo credit should read ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)
Actor Johnny Depp and actress Amber Heard attend the US premiere of '3 Days To Kill,' at Arclight Cinemas, February 12, 2014 in Hollywood, California. AFP PHOTO ROBYN BECK (Photo credit should read ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images)
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