Billie Lourd emotionally opens up to Ellen DeGeneres on losing mom Carrie Fisher & grandma Debbie Reynolds

Billie Lourd is opening up. The 25-year-old actress and daughter of Carrie Fisher and Bryan Lourd spoke about the loss of her mother and her grandmother, Debbie Reynolds, with Ellen DeGeneres during Tuesday’s show.

The Ellen DeGeneres Show marked her late mother’s final public appearance before her December 2016 passing.  

“She always takes over any talk show in this really aggressive way, so kudos to you,” Lourd joked with the longtime host.

Declaring she has “a lot of goddesses” in her life, Lourd went on to speak about her deep loss and life afterwards. 

“Yeah, it’s completely surreal. There’s no way to really explain it,” she said. “It’s so hard to talk about. I don’t know, if I say that I’m doing good, I’m too happy. And if I say that I’m not doing good, then I’m a mess. So it’s really hard to know what to say about it because it is just so surreal and impossible to deal with.”

She’s glad that she got a chance to appear alongside her mom in 2015’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

“I’m a big believer in things happening for a reason, and I think I ended up in that movie for a reason,” she said. “It was really incredible for us to get to have that experience together.”

The film marked Lourd’s first foray into the acting world, which her parents weren’t particularly keen about her entering.

See photos of the pair:

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Billie Lourd and Carrie Fisher together
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Billie Lourd and Carrie Fisher together
HOLLYWOOD, CA - DECEMBER 14: Actors Carrie Fisher (L) and Billie Lourd attend the World Premiere of ÂStar Wars: The Force Awakens at the Dolby, El Capitan, and TCL Theatres on December 14, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jesse Grant/Getty Images for Disney)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 25: (L-R) Actresses Carrie Fisher, Screen Actors Guild Life Achievement Award recipient Debbie Reynolds, and Billie Lourd pose in the press room during the 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on January 25, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
SANTA MONICA, CA - FEBRUARY 19: Actress Billie Lourd arrives at the US-Ireland Alliance Pre-Academy Awards Honors event at Bad Robot on February 19, 2015 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Amanda Edwards/WireImage)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 11: Actress Billie Lourd attends the 2015 FOX programming presentation at Wollman Rink in Central Park on May 11, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images)
SANTA MONICA, CA - FEBRUARY 19: Actress Billie Lourd attends the US-Ireland Aliiance's Oscar Wilde Awards event at J.J. Abrams' Bad Robot on February 19, 2015 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images for US-IRELAND ALLIANCE)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 25: (L-R) Actresses Carrie Fisher, Screen Actors Guild Life Achievement Award recipient Debbie Reynolds, and Billie Lourd pose in the press room during the 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on January 25, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 03: Carrie Fisher (L) and Billie Lourd attend the 2011 Silver Hill Hospital gala at Cipriani 42nd Street on November 3, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Andy Kropa/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 03: Carrie Fisher (L) and Billie Lourd attend the 2011 Silver Hill Hospital gala at Cipriani 42nd Street on November 3, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Andy Kropa/Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - DECEMBER 14: (L-R) Actress Billie Lourd, cinematographer Todd Fisher and actress Carrie Fisher attend the premiere of Walt Disney Pictures and Lucasfilm's 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' at the Dolby Theatre on December 14, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
LONDON, ENGLAND - JUNE 29: Carrie Fisher and daughter Billie Catherine Lourd attend the World Premiere of 'Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie' at Odeon Leicester Square on June 29, 2016 in London, England. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
LONDON, ENGLAND - JUNE 29: Carrie Fisher (C) and daughter Billie Catherine Lourd attend the World Premiere of 'Absolutely Fabulous: The Movie' at Odeon Leicester Square on June 29, 2016 in London, England. (Photo by David M. Benett/Dave Benett/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 25: (L-R) Todd Fisher, actress Debbie Reynolds, recipient of the Screen Actors Guild Life Achievement Award, actresses Carrie Fisher and Billie Lourd pose in the press room at the 21st Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards at The Shrine Auditorium on January 25, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JUNE 07: Actress and writer Carrie Fisher (R) and her daughter Billie Lourd arrive at The Paley Center For Media & TCM Present Debbie Reynolds' Hollywood Memorabilia Exhibit Reception on June 7, 2011 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Amanda Edwards/Getty Images)
Billie Lourd and mother Carrie Fisher attend Paley Center & TCM present Debbie Reynolds' Hollywood memorabilia exhibit reception at The Paley Center for Media on June 7, 2011 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Brian To/FilmMagic)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JANUARY 29: Carrie Fisher and Billie Lourd attend 'Snow Day' Premiere on January 29, 2000 at the Paramount Theater in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Ron Galella/WireImage)
UNIVERSAL CITY, CA - DECEMBER 3: Carrie Fisher, Billie Lourd and Debbie Reynolds attend Radio City Christmas Opening on December 3, 1999 at the Universal Ampitheater in Universal City, California. (Photo by Ron Galella/WireImage)
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“They did not want me to act at all – my dad and my mom – because they were both in the industry and saw that it’s not really the best place to want your child to go into,” she explained.

But after she enjoyed her time on set, Lourd took some advice from her mom. 

“I came home and my mom said, ‘You know, this is really weird that you’re comfortable here. This is one of the most uncomfortable environments in the world. If you’re comfortable here, you should do this,’” she recalled.

Lourd went on to play Chanel #3 on Ryan Murphy’s Scream Queens before switching over to the role of Winter Anderson in the new season of American Horror Story.

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