A glorious thing happened on the Internet today. More unusual than a dress made from one long piece of string and more surreal than an affordable way to join the Balmain army—and yet at the same time, it honestly isn't all that surprising. Kim Kardashian just released an application to compete to be "Beauty Director of the Kardashian Apps" on her upcoming Lifetime reality show, Glam Masters. The form is so intense, it's like Kardashian and Co. are looking into your very soul.
A few details: If chosen, you'll be one of "Four lucky bloggers" to "go head-to-head on each week's episode of 'Glam Masters.' Only a few will make it to semi-finals and eventually finals, where one will become the Glam Master. The next big name in the beauty world could be YOU." Obviously, we immediately clicked to the application, where it became quickly clear our chances at becoming the Glam Master are small if not nonexistent.
The app opens with semi-standard Qs like "Are you a makeup artist, makeup enthusiast, beauty blogger/vlogger, or all of the above?" and "How many followers do you have on Instagram? YouTube followers?" It escalates with "How do you respond to competition?" and "What is quirky or interesting about you? OR Tell me about your guilty pleasures?" And then, "What is your biggest insecurity?," "How do you spend your free time (weekends & nights out)?"
See photos of Kim Kardashian:
Kim Kardashian's sexiest Instagrams of 2017
Kim Kardashian's sexiest Instagrams of 2017
New pics on my app #KKWAPP
Watch What Happens Live airs tonight on Bravo at 11/10c 💋 @bravoandy
Happy Mothers Day to my sister @kourtneykardash who makes it always look so easy! I love you
Thank you to my babies for choosing me and allowing me to be your mom. You've given me a deep love I can't explain. I'm always here to teach you and protect you! Thank you for making my Mothers Day so special!
Stepping up into the MET like.... I have the best glam team! ❤️💄💋 thank you @makeupbymario @michaelsilvahair
The KKW X KYLIE collab of 4 nude lip kits with the new creme liquid formula is available now! So proud to collab with my little twin sissy! KylieCosmetics.com
Wearing Kimberly KKW X KYLIE
The restock is Live on KylieCosmetics.com KKW X KYLIE collab available now
So excited about this nudes collection #KKWxKYLIE
Well damn...... she shut shit down!!! Hands down best body ever! Shit, I have to get my shit together. If this isn't motivation, than I don't know what Is!! Keeks you really look amazing!!! 👑👑👑
Kourt looking for zero fucks to give on her 38th bday looking soooo good
Last pic. Vintage Versace. The Promise Premiere
Remember this? Just want to remind all of you that if you’re miserable with #morningsickness like I was, try changing your diet & lifestyle first. If you still feel sick, don’t wait-ask your doctor about #Diclegis (doxylamine succinate & pyridoxine HCl), the only FDA-approved medication for morning sickness. It’s the most studied drug in pregnancy & it worked for me! I want to empower all moms-to-be and encourage them to speak up. #DontSufferInSilence! The most common side effect is drowsiness. Visit diclegis.com
Additional safety information can be found below & at DiclegisImportantSafetyinfo.com. Duchesnay USA encourages you to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.
For U.S. Residents Only.
Diclegis is a prescription medicine used to treat nausea & vomiting of pregnancy in women who haven’t improved with change in diet or other non-medicine treatments.
Limitation of Use: Diclegis hasn’t been studied in women with hyperemesis gravidarum.
Important Safety Information
Do not take Diclegis if you’re allergic to any of the ingredients in Diclegis. You should also not take Diclegis in combination with medicines called monoamine oxidase inhibitors, as these medicines can intensify & prolong the adverse CNS effects of Diclegis.
Do not drive, operate heavy machinery or other activities that need your full attention unless your healthcare provider says that you may do so. Do not drink alcohol or take other central nervous system depressants such as cough & cold medicines, certain pain medicines & medicines that help you sleep while you take Diclegis. Severe drowsiness can happen or become worse causing falls or accidents.
It is not known if Diclegis is safe & effective in children under 18 years of age. Keep Diclegis & all medicines out of the reach of children.
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I just like this pic
Come and meet me in the bathroom staaaaallllll 📸 @mertalas
Kris Jenner vibes
Detoxing with @fittea 💜 it tastes amazing and the ingredients are all natural 🍵 #ad
Should I be original and say long hair don't care?
Found this pic of @riccardotisci17 and I. I remember the first time you dressed me in Givenchy. So many amazing memories. I can't wait to see what's next! ❤️💋
I just like this pic
I love working out in my @waistgangsociety shaper by @premadonna87 it gives me the extra boost that I need in the gym & keeps my waist snatched.. go order yours now from #whatsawaist.com using my Discount code (Kimk) #ad
Kim x Ky Take Costa Rica 🇨🇷
Don't go chasing waterfalls 💦🌿
🌿💦 JUMP 🌿💦
Thank you @cosmesurge for saving my skin! #JetLagProblems #PsoriasisProblems
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Our favorite question is "Will you be appearing on any TV shows that are scheduled to air in the next year? If YES, which one(s)?," just because of the option to specify multiple. It reads like the Kardashians...think other people are Kardashians. We love it. The whole thing is giving us strong flashbacks to when Rihanna held an open casting call for Fenty Beauty makeup artists, with the added bonus of questions that are so obscure they'd be an HR nightmare literally anywhere else.
And to be fair, the Kardashians know stardom means surrendering your entire persona to the camera. Truly, the application scrutinizes every single one of your life choices—and adds a caution that if you're under 18, you need a parent or guardian's consent. Because it's a Kardashian show, and the Glam Master could be a 13-year old walking among us. Anything could happen.
Fingers crossed that Kylie, the big beauty boss herself, shows up in the Tournament of Masters finale (as it's being called). We can only imagine second-round interviews—they probably mean handing over your passwords for a full Kris evaluation. Our only tip for a winning application is to consider filling out the whole thing in Kimoji. "Annual salary?" *Kim crying Kimoji*