Kim Kardashian's new beauty reality show application is bananas

A glorious thing happened on the Internet today. More unusual than a dress made from one long piece of string and more surreal than an affordable way to join the Balmain army—and yet at the same time, it honestly isn't all that surprising. Kim Kardashian just released an application to compete to be "Beauty Director of the Kardashian Apps" on her upcoming Lifetime reality show, Glam Masters. The form is so intense, it's like Kardashian and Co. are looking into your very soul.

A few details: If chosen, you'll be one of "Four lucky bloggers" to "go head-to-head on each week's episode of 'Glam Masters.' Only a few will make it to semi-finals and eventually finals, where one will become the Glam Master. The next big name in the beauty world could be YOU." Obviously, we immediately clicked to the application, where it became quickly clear our chances at becoming the Glam Master are small if not nonexistent.

The app opens with semi-standard Qs like "Are you a makeup artist, makeup enthusiast, beauty blogger/vlogger, or all of the above?" and "How many followers do you have on Instagram? YouTube followers?" It escalates with "How do you respond to competition?" and "What is quirky or interesting about you? OR Tell me about your guilty pleasures?" And then, "What is your biggest insecurity?," "How do you spend your free time (weekends & nights out)?"

See photos of Kim Kardashian:

Kim Kardashian's sexiest Instagrams of 2017
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Kim Kardashian's sexiest Instagrams of 2017
New pics on my app #KKWAPP
Just because
Watch What Happens Live airs tonight on Bravo at 11/10c 💋 @bravoandy
Happy Mothers Day to my sister @kourtneykardash who makes it always look so easy! I love you
Thank you to my babies for choosing me and allowing me to be your mom. You've given me a deep love I can't explain. I'm always here to teach you and protect you! Thank you for making my Mothers Day so special!
not today
Stepping up into the MET like.... I have the best glam team! ❤️💄💋 thank you @makeupbymario @michaelsilvahair
The KKW X KYLIE collab of 4 nude lip kits with the new creme liquid formula is available now! So proud to collab with my little twin sissy!
Wearing Kimberly KKW X KYLIE
The restock is Live on KKW X KYLIE collab available now
So excited about this nudes collection #KKWxKYLIE
Well damn...... she shut shit down!!! Hands down best body ever! Shit, I have to get my shit together. If this isn't motivation, than I don't know what Is!! Keeks you really look amazing!!! 👑👑👑
Kourt looking for zero fucks to give on her 38th bday looking soooo good
Last pic. Vintage Versace. The Promise Premiere
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I just like this pic
Come and meet me in the bathroom staaaaallllll 📸 @mertalas
Good morning
Kris Jenner vibes
Detoxing with @fittea 💜 it tastes amazing and the ingredients are all natural 🍵 #ad
Should I be original and say long hair don't care?
Found this pic of @riccardotisci17 and I. I remember the first time you dressed me in Givenchy. So many amazing memories. I can't wait to see what's next! ❤️💋
I just like this pic
Sister ❤️
I love working out in my @waistgangsociety shaper by @premadonna87 it gives me the extra boost that I need in the gym & keeps my waist snatched.. go order yours now from using my Discount code (Kimk) #ad
Kim x Ky Take Costa Rica 🇨🇷
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🌿💦 JUMP 🌿💦
Thank you @cosmesurge for saving my skin! #JetLagProblems #PsoriasisProblems

Our favorite question is "Will you be appearing on any TV shows that are scheduled to air in the next year? If YES, which one(s)?," just because of the option to specify multiple. It reads like the Kardashians...think other people are Kardashians. We love it. The whole thing is giving us strong flashbacks to when Rihanna held an open casting call for Fenty Beauty makeup artists, with the added bonus of questions that are so obscure they'd be an HR nightmare literally anywhere else.

And to be fair, the Kardashians know stardom means surrendering your entire persona to the camera. Truly, the application scrutinizes every single one of your life choices—and adds a caution that if you're under 18, you need a parent or guardian's consent. Because it's a Kardashian show, and the Glam Master could be a 13-year old walking among us. Anything could happen.

Fingers crossed that Kylie, the big beauty boss herself, shows up in the Tournament of Masters finale (as it's being called). We can only imagine second-round interviews—they probably mean handing over your passwords for a full Kris evaluation. Our only tip for a winning application is to consider filling out the whole thing in Kimoji. "Annual salary?" *Kim crying Kimoji*

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