But for pageant purists — those special individuals who believe a woman's worth is valued, even partially, by how she looks in a swimsuits — it was a magnificent evening, full of sights and sounds and... did I already mention the bikinis?
Hosted once again by the mustachio'd king of Family Feud, this year's ceremony featured musical performances from Flo Rida and Boyz II Men. The panel of judges included The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Cynthia Bailey, Paper magazine's Mickey Boardman and producer Francine LeFrak, as well as Miss Universes 2011, 1994 and 1993.
Now for why you really came here: the winner! Though all 86 international hopefuls gave the competition their best shot, there can only be one Miss Universe — well, one at a time, anyway — and the latest is... Miss France, Iris Mittenaere. (The second runner-up was Miss Colombia, Andrea Tovar, while second place went to Miss Haiti, Raquel Pélissier.)
See photos from the beginning of Miss Universe 2017: