Penn Badgley is blond now, and he looks nothing like Dan Humphrey on 'Gossip Girl'

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Greetings, Upper East Siders! Gossip Girl here—and I have the biggest Penn Badgley dish ever.

Just kidding! It's me, Chris. However, I do have some news that Gossip Girl would definitely post on her site with some cheeky caption if it was 2010. It seems Badgley (A.K.A. Dan Humphrey A.K.A. IRL Gossip Girl) has changed up his look in a pretty monumental way. Lonely Boy debuted his—wait for it—blond hair in Miami earlier this week, and he looks nothing like, well, Lonely Boy.

I don't want to keep you GG stans waiting any longer, so peep Badgley's new 'do, and then we can discuss.

They don't even look like the same person! Granted, Badgley is suave either way; it's just jarring. He is serving straight-up Sugar Ray-meets-Justin Bobby realness in this picture. Somewhere, Serena van der Woodsen's head is spinning.

But you also can't deny this is the most Dan Humphrey thing ever. Dan would 100 percent dye his hair some crazy color in order to fit his current aesthetic. In Badgley's case, he was performing in Miami with his, band, MOTHXR—hence the rock star locks. If Dan had a band, he'd pull a similar move. He'd maybe even throw in some neon highlights because why the hell not?

MOTHXR is currently in Florida for Miami Art Basel. The band performed at the Life of the Party show Monday evening, where many fans saw Badgley's new look for the first time. I'm sure MOTHXR slayed, but Badgley's frosty hair upgrade was the true MVP of the evening.

Are you living for this? Thank you, Penn Badgley, for bringing this look into our lives and confirming that you are actually Dan Humphrey.

See photos of Penn Badgley through the years:

18 PHOTOS
Penn Badgley through the years
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Penn Badgley through the years
PARIS, FRANCE - SEPTEMBER 13: Penn Badgley from MOTHXR poses backstage at La Maroquinerie on September 13, 2016 in Paris, France. (Photo by David Wolff - Patrick/Redferns)
PHILADELPHIA, PA - MAY 09: Actor Penn Badgley attends day 3 of Wizard World Comic Con at Pennsylvania Convention Center on May 9, 2015 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 13: (EXCLUSIVE COVERAGE) Actor Penn Badgley visits the SiriusXM Studios on March 13, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 12: Actor Penn Badgley attends Meet The Filmmakers: Michael Almereyda and Penn Badgley, 'Cymbeline', at Apple Store Soho on March 12, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Monica Schipper/FilmMagic)
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Pictured (l-r): Shania Twain and Penn Badgley -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 10: Penn Badgley on the set of 'The Slap' on November 10, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Bobby Bank/GC Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 29: Penn Badgley attends The Joyful Heart Foundation Presents: The Joyful Revolution Gala 10th Anniversary Celebration at Cipriani, 42nd Street on May 29, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Joyful Heart Foundation)
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 25: Actor Penn Badgley attends Meet the Filmmaker: 'Greetings from Tim Buckley' during the 2013 Tribeca Film Festival at the Apple Store Soho on April 25, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Robin Marchant/Getty Images for Tribeca Film Festival)
NEW YORK, NY - APRIL 23: Actor Penn Badgley attends the screening of 'Greetings from Tim Buckley' during the 2013 Tribeca Film Festival at BMCC Tribeca PAC on April 23, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/FilmMagic)
TORONTO, ON - SEPTEMBER 10: Actor Penn Badgley and director Dan Algrant of 'Greetings From Tim Buckley' pose at the Guess Portrait Studio during 2012 Toronto International Film Festival on September 10, 2012 in Toronto, Canada. (Photo by Matt Carr/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 05: Penn Badgley attends the ANGELO GALASSO Polso Orologio Party at The Plaza Hotel on September 5, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images for Angelo Galasso)
NEW YORK, NY - JUNE 06: Penn Badgley attends Chanel's:The Little Black Jacket Event at Swiss Institute on June 6, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - FEBRUARY 10: Actor Penn Badgley attends Rock & Republic For Kohl's during Fall 2012 Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at Hammerstein Ballroom on February 10, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Stephen Lovekin/Getty Images)
NEW YORK CITY, NY - FEBRUARY 06: Penn Badgley and Leighton Meester seen on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum while filming a scene from 'Gossip Girl' on February 6, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Christopher Peterson/BuzzFoto/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK, NY - DECEMBER 07: Penn Badgley attends Rocked: An Exclusive Photography Exhibition by Mick Rock at the W New York - Downtown on December 7, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Michael N. Todaro/WireImage)
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 19: (L-R) Actors Ed Westwick, Penn Badgley and Chace Crawford attend the 'Gossip Girl' 100 episode celebration at Cipriani Wall Street on November 19, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Charles Eshelman/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 17: Actor Penn Badgley attends the 2011 Wired Store opening night party on November 17, 2011 in New York City. (Photo by Lisa Hancock/FilmMagic)
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