Michelle Williams says raising daughter Matilda without Heath Ledger 'won't ever be right'

Michelle Williams admits that her life at 36 isn't what she imagined.

In an interview with the December issue of Porter magazine, the actress opens up about raising her daughter, Matilda, without Heath Ledger, who died in January 2008 when his daughter was just 2 years old. "In all honesty, for pretty much everything else, I feel like I'm a believer in not fighting circumstances, accepting where you are and where you've been. In pretty much all senses but one," Williams explains. "I would be able to go totally down that line of thinking were it not for Matilda not having her dad. You know, that's just something that doesn't... I mean, it just won't ever be right."

PORTER magazine

The Manchester By the Sea star adds that being a single mother is a constant challenge. "Talk about a learning process. I think, God, what would I say about it?" she says. "I feel really sensitive about it and certainly did not expect to still be dating at 36 with an 11-year-old."

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See photos of Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams together:

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Heath Ledger, Michelle Williams and daughter Matilda
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Heath Ledger, Michelle Williams and daughter Matilda
Actor Michelle Williams (L) dances on the red carpet with her fiance Heath Ledger (R), nominated as best actor for the film "Brokeback Mountain" at the 78th annual Academy Awards at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood, California March 5, 2006. Williams is wearing a dress designed by Vera Wang and Ledger is wearing a Dunhill tuxedo. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson FOR BEST QUALITY IMAGE: ALSO SEE GM1E62O09V301
Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams at the "Vanity Fair" OscarS Party. (West Hollywood, CA)
Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger arrive on the red carpet. (Photo by Yui Mok - PA Images/PA Images via Getty Images)
Michelle Williams, nominee Best Actress in a Supporting Role for 'Brokeback Mountain' and Heath Ledger, nominee Best Actor in a Leading Role for 'Brokeback Mountain' (Photo by Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic, Inc)
Michelle Williams, nominee Best Female Lead for Land of Plenty, and Heath Ledger (Photo by Ron Galella, Ltd./WireImage)
NEW YORK - OCTOBER 27: (L-R) Matilda Ledger and Michelle Williams are seen on October 27, 2009 in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. (Photo by Christopher Peterson/BuzzFoto/FilmMagic)
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 03: *** EXCLUSIVE*** Actor Heath Ledger with actress girlfriend Michelle Williams in Bondi Beach January 3, 2005 in Sydney, Australia. The pair were living in Australia and enjoyed a rare public display of their romance while overlooking cliffs in Bondi Beach, (Photo by Photonews International Inc./Getty Images)
BROOKLYN - MAY 23: (L-R) Michelle Williams and Matilda Ledger sighting on May 23, 2009 in Brooklyn, New York. (Photo by Christopher Peterson/BuzzFoto/FilmMagic)
NEW YORK - OCTOBER 27: (L-R) Matilda Ledger and Michelle Williams are seen on October 27, 2009 in the Brooklyn borough of New York City. (Photo by Christopher Peterson/BuzzFoto/FilmMagic)
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 22: Actor Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams attend the Australian Premier of Brokeback mountain at the Cinema Paris on the 13 January 2006 in Sydney, Australia. The Australian actor was found dead on his hotel floor in New York on January 22, 2008. (Photo by Mike Flokis/Getty Images)
Michelle Williams and her fiance Australian actor Heath Ledger arrive at the Independent Spirit Awards in Santa Monica March 4, 2006. Ledger is nominated for Best Male Lead and Williams is nominated for Best Supporting Female in the film "Brokeback Mountain". REUTERS/Fred Prouser
Actor Heath Ledger (L) speaks to actress Michelle Williams as they arrive at the 58th Annual Directors Guild Awards in Century City, California January 28, 2006. REUTERS/Fred Prouser
Oscar nominated actor in a leading role Heath Ledger, for his role in "Brokeback Mountain", and his co-star and fiance Oscar nominated actress in a supporting role Michelle Williams, attend the 78th annual Academy Awards nominees luncheon in Beverly Hills February 13, 2006. The Academy Awards will be given out in Hollywood on March 5. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni
Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger during The 63rd Annual Golden Globe Awards - Arrivals at Beverly Hilton Hotel in Beverly Hills, California, United States. (Photo by SGranitz/WireImage)
Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger (Photo by Dimitrios Kambouris/WireImage for IFP)
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Williams also recalls some tough love she received from her longtime friend and former Dawson's Creek co-star, Busy Phillips, in regard to her dating life. "My friend Busy and her husband Marc [Silverstein] said, 'Michelle, you're in like a blackout zone, everybody is now partnered up and you have to wait for people to start getting divorced.' Oh my f--king God. Are you kidding me?" she exclaims. "I'm just sitting around and waiting for marriages to crumble? Oh wow! No!"

PORTER magazine

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