Just as Western art has cultivated an "eye" for the female nude, it is now time for us to fine-tune our gaze to the male celebrity nude. Penises of famous men of many shapes and sizes are just a click away on the internet!
Seth Rogen, for one, makes no bones about the fact when he hears there's a famous penis online, he is going to look at it. (Same.) So when photos leaked of Orlando Bloom paddleboarding in the nude with Katy Perry, you bet your bottom Rogen was on top of it. This led Andy Cohen to ask the inevitable question: Who has the better penis — Orlando Bloom or Justin Bieber?
You realize that Rogen is a true connoisseur of the dick pic when he says, "Orlando's probably a bigger guy, and proportionally his penis still looked to scale. Which makes me think overall it's bigger." There you have it: Watch What Happens Live has become a literal dick-measuring contest.
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 25: Seth Rogen attends Sony Pictures' 'The Interview' opening on Christmas Day at Cinefamily in Los Angeles, CA. Sony hackers have released stolen information and threatened attacks on theaters which screened the film. (Photo by Justin Baker/WireImage)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 25: Writer/director Seth Rogen introduces the screening of Sony Pictures' 'The Interview' at Cinefamily on December 25, 2014 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 25: Writers Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen attend Sony Pictures' 'The Interview' opening on Christmas Day at Cinefamily on December 25, 2014 in Los Angeles, CA. Sony hackers have released stolen information and threatened attacks on theaters which screened the film. (Photo by Justin Baker/WireImage)
Cast members Paul Rudd (L) and Seth Rogen pose at the premiere of "Knocked Up" in Los Angeles, California May 21, 2007. REUTERS/Fred Prouser (UNITED STATES)
Seth Rogen, writer of the movie "Superbad", poses at the Culver Studios in Culver City, California August 3, 2007. The movie opens in the U.S. August 17. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni (UNITED STATES)
Presenters Seth Rogen (R) and Jonah Hill arrive backstage at the 80th annual Academy Awards, the Oscars, in Hollywood, February 24, 2008. REUTERS/Mike Blake (UNITED STATES-OSCARS)
Cast member Seth Rogen attends the premiere of "The Green Hornet" at the Grauman's Chinese theatre in Hollywood, California January 10, 2011. The movie opens in the U.S. on January 14. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT)
Cast members Seth Rogen (L) and Danny McBride attend the premiere of the film "Kung Fu Panda 2" in Los Angeles May 22, 2011. REUTERS/Phil McCarten (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT)
Actor Seth Rogen and wife Lauren Miller arrive at the 69th annual Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills, California January 15, 2012. REUTERS/Danny Moloshok (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT) (GOLDENGLOBES-ARRIVALS)
Barbra Streisand and Seth Rogen, stars of the new film "The Guilt Trip" pose as they arrive at the film's premiere in Los Angeles December 11, 2012. REUTERS/Fred Prouser (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT)
Presenters for the best shirtless performance, Seth Rogen (L), Zac Efron (C) and Danny McBride, decide to have a best bottomless competition at the 2013 MTV Movie Awards in Culver City, California April 14, 2013. REUTERS/Danny Moloshok (UNITED STATES Tags: Entertainment) (MTV-SHOW)
Seth Rogen (L) and Evan Goldberg speak after accepting their Comedy Filmmakers of the Year award at the Big Screen Achievement Awards during CinemaCon, the official convention of the National Association of Theatre Owners, at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada March 27, 2014. REUTERS/Steve Marcus (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT)
Cast members James Franco (L) and Seth Rogen pose during the premiere of the film "The Interview" in Los Angeles, California December 11, 2014. REUTERS/Kevork Djansezian (UNITED STATES - Tags: ENTERTAINMENT)
Actors Seth Rogen (R) and Lauren Miller Rogen stumble down a step as they walk on stage during We Day California in Inglewood, California, April 7, 2016. REUTERS/Danny Moloshok TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY
Cast member Seth Rogen poses at the premiere for the movie "Sausage Party" in Los Angeles, California U.S., August 9, 2016. REUTERS/Mario Anzuoni