OnlyOnAOL: What shocked Mila Kunis the most about motherhood
By: Donna Freydkin
One time in the not-so distant past, Mila Kunis and her husband, Ashton Kutcher, were leaving a restaurant with their daughter Wyatt, almost 2. It was close to naptime, the kid was on the verge of a meltdown, and Kunis turned to her better half, saying that their daughter was being, well, difficult.
She got side-eye from a bystander for being honest. But let's face it. Kids are irrational and demanding. They have tantrums in public. They demand all the berries. They won't share. And that's perfectly ok. Her husband got it. "That's how you know you've found your human," she says.
Kunis plays a woman on the verge of her own breakdown in "Bad Moms," a raunchy, honest, smart, spot-on comedy about women striving to have it all -- and failing. Kunis' Amy works full-time at a part-time job. Her husband doesn't pull his weight. Her kids are entitled. And she spends her tidbits of free time rushing from soccer to PTA meetings to vet appointments. She finds her soulmates in Kathryn Hahn and Kristen Bell, who help her face down her nemesis (Christina Applegate).
"I'm so proud of this movie," says Kunis. "If you're a guy you'll find it just as funny. Men innately struggle with the same issues. Men try to have it all. In the grand of scheme of things, it's the same idea. Humor is humor. It transcends everything."
In her real life, Kunis, pregnant with her second child, can relate. "I'm learning that it's ok to take a moment. And my husband totally supports that," she says. "I'm my own last priority. I can only be as good of a mom as I am of a woman. You have to be true to yourself and be a little selfish."
And yet, motherhood is fetishized, and it's largely verboten to talk about how boring and exhausting so much of it can be. Which is why it's so refreshing to see a movie in which having a kid isn't the be-all, end-all path to self-actualization.
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"It's about somebody who's acknowledging reality and takes the power back in her hands to try and make herself a little bit happier. I know that I, as a mother of only 21 months, have completely put myself last, in every aspect of life," says Kunis.
She adores her daughter. "The type of love you have for this human is unexplainable. There's nothing she can do that wouldn't make me love her. I love my husband. I love my family. This is just different," says Kunis.
And Kunis has learned a few lessons over the past two years.
"Here's what shocked me the most. Before having a kid, I always wondered whether something was affected by nature versus nurture? What I learned from having a baby is that so much of who she is, is nature. I could nurture that nature. I can help mold who she is. I can't change her. It has nothing to do with my husband or I. She is who she is," says Kunis.
