By: Donna Freydkin
Motherhood equals rainbows and unicorns, peace and love, sunshine and rainbows, tantrums and puke and meltdowns and hissy fits.
When talking to actress/author Jenny Mollen, you bypass entirely the fetishized and glossy version of parenthood peddled by many of her peers. The author of the best-selling humor tome " Live Fast Die Hot" is married to Jason Biggs, with whom she has a son, Sid. He's cute. He's precocious. And he's also, at times, a spoiled tyrant who wants what he wants when he wants. Period.
We talked to Mollen about what it takes to retain some sense of self while raising a kid.
1. Just say no. "Don't give in to everything they want or they wind up controlling you. You have to follow through. If I don't do it, he has no respect for me. Jason is like, 'Distract him with a present.' No!"
2. Pour some sugar on him -- not. "Everyone wants to give your kid sweets. But no one has to deal with the aftermath of what that means. Set up right away when he's eating candy and cookies and (expletive)."
3. Plan, plan and plan some more. "When you're on an airplane, pack ten times more clothing for yourself and your child in your carry on, You need at least three outfit changes and you don't want to end up naked in your seat. You have to pack (stuff). If you don't, it screws you."
4. Be selfish when you need to be. "You have to take time for yourself. If you don't, you're being a bad parent. Sometimes I feel so guilty going to the gym. You don't want to be the kind of mom where your kids go to school and you have nothing going on but them. Now you're not just a stay at home mom but (killjoy). That's what happens. Now what do I do?"
5. Love yourself. "My mom was so all about herself. I don't want to be that mean. But I can't be the opposite of that, mommyhood embodied. It's finding that balance."