This guy calmly eating pizza during a 20-person restaurant brawl clearly has his priorities straight
We've seen people who were blinded by love fail to recognize imminent danger around them before -- but what about people blinded by food?
Only the focus of the video isn't the estimated 20 people throwing drunken punches at each other.
It's the hero sitting down, watching the story play out, while still eating his pizza.
He doesn't even flinch when people are literally stepping over his legs to throw elbows -- truly the hero Gotham deserves, AND the one it needs right now.
Since being shared, Collins' video has racked up over 1,600 retweets and retweets and 2,100 likes, and has even been shared by famous accounts like Barstool Sports.
Collins has sent a plea into the internet ether that if anyone can identify her anonymous, pizza-loving "soulmate," to let her know ASAP.
Although this would be an adorable story for their wedding, we hate to say we think we might've found a better match for him.
See social media reactions to pizza man: