The life of a substitute is thankless and sometimes traumatizing.
Regardless, it reads as a hilarious tale of a normal life as a substitute teacher.
The note was a bit hard to read, so we transcribed it, below.
8:30 a.m. [Ja] won't stop yelling "peanuts," [Jn] has spilt her milk and fruity pebbles everywhere, everyone won't stop laughing, I can see her about to explode. I fear for the safety of these children.
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9:15 a.m. [D] has started a dance party in the corner, at first it was just the boys, after [G] joined, it's taken over half the class.
10:00 a.m. The fart noises haven't stopped for 30 minutes. It started with a real fart. I suspect [H]. Now they're arguing which one of their fake farts would smell worse. It's almost time for specials. I'm scared that once I drop them off I won't find the will to pick them up.
1:00 p.m. The decibel level in this room has reached an unhealthy level. I've fashioned ear plugs out of broken crayons. Please let me survive this.
2:00 p.m. The end is in sight. I said the words "free time" and it was as if this room was hit by a bomb.
3:00 p.m. They're gone, finally. I spent the second half of my day drafting my letter of resignation. The name [J] appears no less than eight times.
Well, at least they made it to the end of the day.
UPDATE: May 20, 2016: The names in this post were redacted.