'Real Housewives of Dallas' star Cary Deuber: Being a 'Real Housewife' has 'been harder than I thought'
By: Gibson Johns
Cary Deuber wears many hats, and we're not just talking about the one she wore at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party on the second episode of "Real Housewives of Dallas."
As one of the stars of Bravo's newest "Housewives" franchise, Deuber has made it a point to remain an "open book," putting a big ole Dallas spotlight on the many roles she plays in her daily life: Mother, wife, certified nurse first assistant and, now, "Real Housewife."
Throughout the first three episodes of Dallas' first season, the mother to a baby daughter and two step-children has positioned herself smack dab in the middle of two opposing sides of Texas' glitziest city. There's LeeAnne Locken and Tiffany Hendra on one side, while Brandi Redmond and Stephanie Hollman are on the other. Though it appears as though she gravitates more towards the latter side, Deuber told us that she doesn't want to choose sides.
We chatted exclusively with Deuber recently at the AOL headquarters in New York City about the "Real Housewives of Dallas," why being a Housewife is harder than it seems, that fake poop incident at the Mad Hatter's Tea Party and those accusations that she fat-shamed her husband.
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Check out our full conversation with Cary Deuber below:
What has it been like, now that a couple of episodes have aired?
It's been harder than I thought. I'm a nurse, I'm a mom, I'm a friend, I'm a wife and I have a million responsibilities. I'm a certified nurse first assistant, so I operate with my husband. I do injectables for his practice, as well. So, I'm spread pretty thin. And "Housewives" is not just the filming: There's also a ton of press, and I'm not sure I was totally prepared for that aspect of it.
I don't know that I was prepared for some of the negative comments, either, because people can be really mean. I'm so positive; I'm a yogi. Negativity really affects me and goes against my inner self. My whole being, really. It's shocking to me how negative people can be. That's definitely been harder than I thought, but everything is part of the journey, and I think you have to go through those darker areas to get to the positive ones.
I must say, it's been refreshing to have you on the show. I love it when "Real Housewives" have additional careers and showcase them on the show, and you've been doing that with yours as a nurse. Was it important for you to put a spotlight on that aspect of your life?
Yeah, because I think that it's something that's unique to me, especially compared to other Housewives. It's hard to hold down two jobs, because being a Housewife on the show is also a job. Actually, I have three jobs, because I'm also a mom! I wanted people to see that I have a strong work ethic, and that I'm a strong, working mother. I think that it's a nice thing for people to see that they maybe haven't seen before.
It's not like I run a business where I can just be like, "You guys do that for me." I have to actually physically be there to operate at my practice.
Was it difficult to balance your work as a nurse during filming?
Very. Luckily, my husband is my boss, though, so he gave me some slack -- but not a ton! He expects me to be there.
Going into filming, was there anything that you didn't want to show?
No, I'm an open book. I'm one of those people who's probably honest to a fault. It's not that I don't care what people think -- everyone, to some extent, cares what people think. But I'm proud of how I live my life, and I'm proud of my mistakes and my accomplishments. Hopefully that's helpful for people to see!
A lot of reality TV stars talk about getting so used to being filmed that they forget the cameras are even there. When did that first happen for you, where you did something you previously wouldn't have done in front of cameras?
Probably a couple of weeks in when we went on our little trip, because [the cameras are] with you the entire time. You definitely forget [about them], but it does take time. The first night I had a complete panic attack freakout thinking I'd ruined my life. But now, I'm like, "Whatever!"
What's it been like watching the first couple of episodes? Have you found out about something that someone said that you didn't know had been said before watching it back?
No, but I will say that I thought I was very funny -- I'm a really witty person -- but some people definitely didn't think I was as funny as I thought I was being. They saw some of my wit and humor and took it seriously! It's so funny how people can take things out of context and twist it.
I hope people can see me for who I am as time goes on. You know, that I'm actually a real human being and that I have real feelings.
"Dallas" has been interesting, because it's pretty divided: You have LeeAnne and Tiffany on one side, and you have Brandi and Stephanie on there other. Then you're in the middle. Do you end up picking a side?
I definitely don't take sides, but I also definitely have friends on the show and women that I respect. You'll be able to see as the season goes on who I respect and who I don't. It's not because there are teams. I actually like girls on both sides. But, yes, there are two best friends and two best friends and then me. It's not like "Survivor" where there are alliances, and we're getting kicked off the island! But I definitely have girls I'm friends with.
Did you watch the other "Real Housewives" franchises prior to becoming a Housewife yourself?
You have to love some of the train wreck of it all, right? I always loved watching it when I would come home after a long day of operating, and my brain and body were just tired. Nothing better than laying in bed and watching someone else's life on TV. Like, what did they do today?
I think that's the really cool thing about "Housewives" and why it's such an amazing franchise. It truly is real life, and it really is seeing someone else in their real life and seeing how they chose to present themselves.
Did you learn anything from watching those previous Housewives on their respective franchises?
Not really. I think you are yourself on the show. I'm really Type A -- I'm Type triple-A [Laughs] -- so I did watch it to do my homework. My husband would be like, "Turn this sh-t off!" But I had to look at it to see what they were doing to make sure I was learning something. But I don't think you can actually learn anything; you just have to do you.
What's the reaction like been from your other cast mates since the show has premiered? What have you guys talked about?
I've talked to everyone ... except for one. I'm not naming names, though. [Laughs] Dallas is a big city, but a small town, and I think that people [in Dallas] have been a little harsh. We all kind of have our guards up right now, but I think that's probably par for the course, especially at this point. It's been two episodes! You can't judge, but people love to judge. It's their favorite thing to do. As time goes on, though, I think that it's going to change immensely, and I think it's going to be seen as a good thing.
In the second episode of this season, you caused a little bit of drama by putting the fake poop from Brandi's hat on LeAnne's chair while she was out of her seat. Can you tell me how that all went down?
I thought it was hilarious! First of all, Brandi is a goofball and Stephanie is right along with her. They're funny together. They're a riot. We all have little kids, you know? You couldn't tell that her hat had poop on it, and nobody would've known if LeeAnne hadn't gone and blabbed to every damn table and every damn person!
I was in the bathroom when the turd fell on the ground, and I was like, "Give me that thing! I'm going to go stick that on that girl's chair, and we'll all have a laugh and move on." Let's just say that someone needs to get a life, and it's not me. I have one.
How did fans on Twitter react to that moment?
They were like, "Good job!" But they didn't like my jokes about my husband. That was the one thing I've gotten killed on. My husband sits there during my interviews on the show. We're together 24/7. He sits there, and he's the one who sent those pictures into Bravo --not me! It's not as if I was like, "Hey f--ker, here's my fat husband!" I mean, God! I would never do that. He's obsessed with showing people those photos!
Plus, I wasn't sleeping with him when he was married, which was kind of my point in making that joke. When I said, "It's not like I was sleeping with him when he was fat," I was basically saying, "It's not like I was sleeping with him while he was married."
It's funny because people don't think everything I say is funny. But I guess that's how it goes.
What can we expect from the rest of the season?
You're going to see different relationships forming, disintegrating and then maybe coming back together. I don't even know where things stand, since things have changed since we wrapped filming. If we do a reunion, that will be insane. Like, insane. For me, that's the thing that I'm looking forward to most. Let me at them!
Look, you go through this process and develop friendships and things evolve. We aren't trying to be anything -- we're just doing us. I don't know about everyone, but I know that I gave 100% of my life and put it out there.
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