Satirical line of baby food warns parents against 'feeding' their kids gender stereotypes
Image: Gender Baby Food
It's astonishing how young we begin to push gender stereotypes onto children.
It seems that when boys as young as a few years old cry about a bruise or cut, they're reminded that big boys don't do that.
And when girls even so much as pick up a ball and bat, they're told to be more ladylike.
But what if instead of going through all the trouble of verbally feeding children our society's gender norms, parents could literally FEED their kids these values.
Enter: Gender Baby Food, an obvious parody product based on the design of the iconic Gerber brand, which urges parents to "Give your baby the right start" by feeding them baby foods modeled around stereotypes.
Created by the folks at The Anxiety and Depression Association of America, a mission statement from the fake company reads:
Gender® baby food is made entirely from ingredients naturally grown in our society. When it comes to early development in children, we believe that feeding your kids the gems you were fed in your childhood is the best way for them to grow up in these changing times.
In fact, our leading formulas have been tested with a large percentage of boys and girls, who through slut-shaming, homophobia, and misogyny, inspiringly show us what gender perfection is today.
Let your boy behave like a man, and let your girl use her looks to get ahead. In our current society, there is no better way to succeed - and it all starts with Gender®.
So, what's on today's social menu?
For girls, we have:
About the product: Cover-Your-Cleavage Cucumbers will help your little girl understand that she should never wear whatever she wants. Too much boobs make her a hoe, and skirts too short make her a tramp. This formula will help her choose her clothes wisely, so that she won't ever have herself to blame.
About the product: Start your little girl's road to success with this juicy formula! Always gorgeous, often seductive, and never with a PhD, your girl's future F-cups are all she needs. Harvested at the source, Too-Hot-to-Be-Smart Squash is guaranteed to help your little girl squash her way to the top.
About the product: Diet-Til-You-Die Tomatoes will help your little girl understand that she's more feminine and desirable when she doesn't have elephant legs. A small portion a day of this calorie-free formula is all you need to keep your girl slim and petite.
And for boys!
About the product: Start your little boy's journey to true manhood with Anti-Gay Grapes. Infused with an abundance of extra strong ingredients, Anti-Gay Grapes will ensure that fruitiness belongs in a jar, not your family.
About the product: Perverted Peas contains all the mature ingredients to expose your little boy to thinking like a real man. Infused with 18+ different vitamins, this formula will teach him to master the expression of unlimited amounts of dirty profanities, offend as many people as possible in the process, and receive the privilege of nonchalant reactions such as "he's just a guy."
About the product: Your daughter should be the one whining, not your son. Big-Boys-Don't-Cry Carrots will help your little boy grow up by the motto "crying is the gateway to gay." Infused with testosterone boosters, our formula will show him that when times get tough, he'll need to get tougher.
Now clearly, there are no such products to actually feed your baby to endow them with these attributes. The satirical line is simply meant to remind parents that the things you 'feed' your baby mentally effect their growth and development just as much as the things you feed them physically.
Ultimately, the site hopes to encourage parents to start feeding their children "openness and discussion" rather than traditional gender stereotypes, "and let your kids shape their own attitudes about what it means to be a man or a woman."
By spreading awareness of how young this type of problem can start, The Anxiety and Depression Association of America is seeking to prevent, treat and cure anxiety disorders and depression in children.
See gender stereotypes in action: