Kelly Clarkson on emotional 'Idol' performance: 'Crying on national TV isn't really my idea of a good time'
On Thursday (March 3), Kelly Clarkson joined Elvis Duran for the Z100 Morning Show via phone to talk about her tearjerking performance of "Piece by Piece" on last week's American Idol.
"It was just, stars aligned for me to really be screwed emotionally [that night]," she said. "It was just the last time I was on Idol and my little kid is running around the same hallways that I was running around at 19. I was just super screwed!"
Last week, Clarkson joined Idol as a guest judge and performed "Piece by Piece," a song she wrote while pregnant with her first child about her absent father. By the end of her performance, Clarkson, judge Keith Urban and pretty much every single person tuned in was in tears.
Although the riveting performance has caused a boost in album sales and support for the song, she told Duran that crying in front of so many people is not her proudest moment.
"I'm so embarrassed," Clarkson said. "It's so funny to me that everybody was like, 'It was remarkable!' ...; Well, crying on national television isn't really my idea of a good time."
Although Clarkson is grateful for the support she has received for the song, she told Z100 that it is "incredibly sad" how many people understand what she went through.
"It's kind of incredibly sad how many people relate to the message. I think that's what's kind of awesome but disturbing, because it's been a really remarkable thing after singing it -- the response from it. I'm excited to be a vessel for a message that touches people, but at the same time I'm like, God, I wish it didn't touch that many people."
While "Piece by Piece" is self-described by Clarkson as a "reminder from hell," she sees good in the song as well, since it encourages her to stay positive.
"It's like that 50/50 song where you're like, 'Oh, that's incredibly sad but then incredibly hopeful,'" Clarkson said. "It's totally hopeful and it's kind of good. I have that reminder in life to keep my priorities in order, so it's cool!"
Listen to Clarkson's full interview with Z100 here and watch Clarkson's American Idol performance below: