Anna Duggar tearfully addresses Josh's 'betrayal': 'My only hope was to cling to my faith'

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Anna Duggar Speaks Out on Josh Duggar's 'Betrayal'


Anna Duggar is trying to keep it together.

The reality star has grown more reclusive in the wake of husband Josh Duggar's molestation and infidelity scandal, and on this week's Jill and Jessa: Counting On, she emotionally addresses how Josh's actions have affected their marriage.

"How could this happen in our marriage?" the 27-year-old wonders aloud. "Josh is my first love, he's my one and only."

"I didn't know what to do, I knew we needed help," she adds. "My only hope was to cling to my faith... If I went off of what I was feeling, I would turn a mess into a disaster."

"It was such a betrayal for a spouse to go through what we're walking through," Anna says. "It was a betrayal for those that call themselves Christian. To vow before God to be loyal to each other, and that loyalty was broken."

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Josh Duggar and Anna Duggar
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Anna Duggar tearfully addresses Josh's 'betrayal': 'My only hope was to cling to my faith'
NATIONAL HARBOR, MD - FEBRUARY 28: Anna Duggar and Josh Duggar pose during the 42nd annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at the Gaylord National Resort Hotel and Convention Center on February 28, 2015 in National Harbor, Maryland. Conservative activists attended the annual political conference to discuss their agenda. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: Josh Duggar visits 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: Hilaria Baldwin (R) interviews Josh Duggar and his daughter during their visit with 'Extra' in Times Square on March 11, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NATIONAL HARBOR, MD - FEBRUARY 28: Josh Duggar speaks during the 42nd annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at the Gaylord National Resort Hotel and Convention Center on February 28, 2015 in National Harbor, Maryland. Conservative activists attended the annual political conference to discuss their agenda. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images)
NATIONAL HARBOR, MD - FEBRUARY 28: Anna Duggar and Josh Duggar pose during the 42nd annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at the Gaylord National Resort Hotel and Convention Center on February 28, 2015 in National Harbor, Maryland. Conservative activists attended the annual political conference to discuss their agenda. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images)
NATIONAL HARBOR, MD - FEBRUARY 28: Anna Duggar and Josh Duggar pose during the 42nd annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at the Gaylord National Resort Hotel and Convention Center on February 28, 2015 in National Harbor, Maryland. Conservative activists attended the annual political conference to discuss their agenda. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: Hilaria Baldwin (R) interviews Josh Duggar and his daughter during their visit with 'Extra' in Times Square on March 11, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NATIONAL HARBOR, MD - FEBRUARY 28: Anna Duggar and Josh Duggar pose during the 42nd annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at the Gaylord National Resort Hotel and Convention Center on February 28, 2015 in National Harbor, Maryland. Conservative activists attended the annual political conference to discuss their agenda. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images)
NATIONAL HARBOR, MD - FEBRUARY 28: Anna Duggar and Josh Duggar pose during the 42nd annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at the Gaylord National Resort Hotel and Convention Center on February 28, 2015 in National Harbor, Maryland. Conservative activists attended the annual political conference to discuss their agenda. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images)
NATIONAL HARBOR, MD - FEBRUARY 28: Anna Duggar and Josh Duggar pose during the 42nd annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at the Gaylord National Resort Hotel and Convention Center on February 28, 2015 in National Harbor, Maryland. Conservative activists attended the annual political conference to discuss their agenda. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images)
NATIONAL HARBOR, MD - FEBRUARY 28: Anna Duggar and Josh Duggar pose during the 42nd annual Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at the Gaylord National Resort Hotel and Convention Center on February 28, 2015 in National Harbor, Maryland. Conservative activists attended the annual political conference to discuss their agenda. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images)
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WATCH: 7 Revealing Things We Learned From TLC's New Duggar Special 'Jill & Jessa: Counting On'

Last week, a source told ET that despite all the problems in their marriage, Anna and Josh have been writing love letters to each other, as the disgraced 27-year-old completes a faith-based rehabilitation program in Rockford, Illinois.

"Anna is planning on getting back together with Josh, that's just how it goes," the source said. "The family was taught to have a new level of forgiveness towards Josh."

WATCH: Anna and Josh Duggar Are Writing Love Letters to Each Other, Source Says

On the three-part TLC special, several members of the Duggar family have tearfully shared what Josh's multiple scandals have done to the family.

"Just thinking about what Josh has been speaking for, and how our family believes as a whole, that what makes it so unbelievable," Josh's sister, Jill, explained during last week's premiere. "It wasn't right for him to let us [defend him] without having the full knowledge of what he was hiding."

WATCH: Duggar Family in Turmoil Over Jill and Jessa's TLC Special: It's 'Turning Into a Circus,' Says Source

The cheating scandal hit particularly hard after Jessa Duggar revealed that the family had already spent years learning to trust 27-year-old Josh again, who, in May, admitted he had molested five minor girls as a teen, including four of his sisters.

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Duggar family
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Anna Duggar tearfully addresses Josh's 'betrayal': 'My only hope was to cling to my faith'
TODAY -- Pictured: (l-r) Michelle Duggar and Jim Bob Duggar appear on NBC News' 'Today' show (Photo by Peter Kramer/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: AJ Calloway (C) poses with (L-R) Jessa Duggar, Jinger Duggar, Jill Duggar, and Jana Duggar during their visit to 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
TODAY -- Pictured: (l-r) Michelle Duggar, Jim Bob Duggar and Kate Upton appear on NBC News' 'Today' show (Photo by Peter Kramer/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
TODAY -- Pictured: (l-r) James Duggar, Michelle Duggar and Matt Lauer appear on NBC News' 'Today' show (Photo by Peter Kramer/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: Josh Duggar visits 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: (R-L) AJ Calloway and Hilaria Baldwin interview Josh Duggar and his daughter during their visit with 'Extra' in Times Square on March 11, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: Hilaria Baldwin (R) interviews Josh Duggar and his daughter during their visit with 'Extra' in Times Square on March 11, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
Two weeks ago I married my best friend! 😘 I love you, Darling! @ben_seewald
It's great living life with your best friend! @ben_seewald
We're expecting!!! So grateful to God for this new little blessing!!! #babydilly #firsttimeparents #sogratefultoGod #derickdillard #jillmdillard
We enjoyed a wonderful family dinner at the Bradford Inn! #familyvacation2014 #19kids #branson
Met Duck Dynasty's Allen & Lisa Robertson tonight!
WASHINGTON, DC - FEBRUARY 10: A view of the book 'A Love That Multiplies' during the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at the Marriott Wardman Park on February 10, 2012 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Kris Connor/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 23: Jill Duggar Dillard (L) and husband Derick Dillard visit 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on October 23, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - OCTOBER 23: (L-R) AJ Calloway interviews Jill Duggar Dillard and husband Derick Dillard during their visit to 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on October 23, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
GOOD MORNING AMERICA - One of America's largest families, the Duggars, talk about their new book on GOOD MORNING AMERICA, 3/11/14, airing on the ABC Television Network. They are pictured in GMA's Social Square with Dan Harris. (Photo by Ida Mae Astute/ABC via Getty Images) DUGGAR FAMILY, DAN HARRIS
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: The Duggar family visits 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: The Duggar family visits 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: AJ Calloway (L) interviews the Duggar family during their visit to 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
WOODBRIDGE, VA - OCTOBER 16: Reality telvision celebrities, Jim Bob Duggar, center, and his wife, Michelle Duggar make a stop on their 'Values Bus Tour' outside Heritage Baptist Church on Wednesday October 16, 2013 in Woodbridge, VA. (Photo by Matt McClain/ The Washington Post via Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: The Duggar family visits 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: The Duggar family visits 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: The Duggar family visits 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: The Duggar family visits 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: (L-R) Jessa Duggar, Jinger Duggar, Jill Duggar, and Jana Duggar visit 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: AJ Calloway (L) poses with Jim Bob Duggar (R) and wife Michelle Duggar during their visit to 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: Hilaria Baldwin (R) interviews Josh Duggar and his daughter during their visit with 'Extra' in Times Square on March 11, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
TODAY -- Pictured: The Duggar Family appears on NBC News' 'Today show (Photo by Peter Kramer/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MARCH 11: AJ Calloway (L) interviews the Duggar family during their visit to 'Extra' at their New York studios at H&M in Times Square on March 11, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by D Dipasupil/Getty Images for Extra)
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"It was shocking. You don't expect something like that to happen. It's your older brother. Somebody you love and who you trust," she shared. "So definitely there was a period of time in our family where Josh was not to be trusted. He spent time away from home, getting help."

WATCH: Anna Duggar Speaks Out About Josh Duggar Cheating Scandal for the First Time: It Was 'Heartbreaking'

"Trust isn't instantly rebuilt," Jill added. "You can forgive in your heart, but at the same time it's a journey to rebuild that trust."

The second part of Jill & Jessa: Counting On airs Sunday, Dec. 20 at 8 p.m. on TLC.

'Jill & Jessa: Counting On': Duggar Boys Speak


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