On Ask a Stupid Question Day, let's ask Bryce Harper some stupid questions!

Harper, Papelbon Fight in Dugout
Harper, Papelbon Fight in Dugout


Today -- for some reason -- is Ask a Stupid Question Day. Somehow, this is not June 13 -- the anniversary of a Toronto television reporter asking then-19-year-old Bryce Harper which beer he considered his favorite.

The response that question elicited has gone down in meme history. "That's a clown question, bro" will live on forever -- in numerous contexts -- whether Harper ever intended on it or not.

So today, we took the time to (pretend to) ask Bryce some pretty dumb questions. His responses might surprise you.

Hey, Bryce, thanks for taking the time to speak with us today. How are you feeling?

Ah, right. Sorry. Guess you're a bit disappointed these days. Possibly because your Nationals were projected to contend for a World Series and are now eliminated from making the playoffs?

Yeah, that one was kind of rhetorical. But, to make matters worse, the closer your team went out and acquired at the trade deadline decided it was a good idea to choke you in your own dugout. Is Jonathan Papelbon really a guy that can stick around in Washington?

Didn't think so. But a bunch of MLB players have rushed to Papelbon's side since the incident. They're saying you need to be taught a lesson for not hustling out a popup, even in meaningless games. Talk about how much you've learned in the time since Papelbon grabbed you by your neck in front of thousands of people.

You're right. That doesn't seem like a very effective way to impart wisdom on a teammate. But let's look to the positives. Once the season finally comes to an end, you're almost a shoo-in as the National League MVP. Think any dark horse candidate can swoop in and steal the title? Zack Greinke? Yoenis Cespedes?

Indeed. A pitcher winning a second-straight MVP has never happened in either league, and Cespedes has barely played 50 games in the National League. Looks like you have the thing locked up! Any idea what type of beer you'll celebrate with?

Oh, come on. You knew that one was coming. Anyway, we wish you a healthy rest of the season and good luck next year. One last question though: Chances you cut your hair any time soon?

Seems about right. Thanks again for answering these stupid questions.

See photos of Bryce Harper throughout his career:

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Originally published