Mindy Kaling's book is full of beauty wisdom

Emmy's 2015 Mindy Kaling

Mindy Kaling, the national treasure who simultaneously delivered The Mindy Project to the small screen and redefined the concept of "extremely complicated relationships," is nothing if not forthcoming. So it comes as no surprise that her new memoir, Why Not Me?, includes an entire chapter devoted to the beauty secrets she learned while working in Hollywood. TV hair is always fake, she writes, and sheet masks help you appear human. Read below for the most useful beauty gems outlined in her book.

On why brown people should spray-tan, too:
"It's not about changing the color, it's about evening out the color. Basically what that means is a really brave woman named Jen will show up at my house with a machine that looks like a small stainless-steel box to store a gremlin, and I will strip naked and stand in my bathroom with my arms and legs wide open and a guilty expression on my face. You don't have to wear underwear, but I always wear mine because it's important for Jen to know that I am classy."

On how a robot cures her acne:
"I have had to learn some drastic ways to get rid of my zits. Only one thing has ever worked, and I have come to depend on one device, a special wand the size and weight of a remote control that shoots hot blue light into my skin. "I bought this wand, the Tria Acne Clearing Blue Light, from my dermatologist's office. At one point I was spending so much time with the device that I started calling him Wall-E. He looks like a fancy sex toy from Japan. His job is to 'eliminate acne-causing bacteria deep beneath the skin's surface,' and I have to hold him pressed against my face for twenty minutes every night."

On the importance of lighting:
"Lighting in television and film is the real key to always looking beautiful. I hired my cinematographer, Marco Fargnoli, based on one thing and one thing alone: his impressive and serious-sounding Italian name. I can always count on Marco to make me look luminous and adorable, like that kid who is fishing from the moon in the DreamWorks logo. So my advice to you is: Try to befriend a cinematographer and have him or her light you wherever you go."

On skin-saving sheet masks:
"If I haven't gotten enough sleep, it shows. You know how on The Walking Dead when a human gets bitten by a zombie, there's that fifteen-minute window after they are infected when they are transforming into a zombie, and their insides liquefy and their eyes turn into milky goo? That's what I look like. "But no one in America will ever know that, because on those bad-sleep days, my makeup artist Cindy applies a beauty mask to my face. It can be any calming mask. I keep mine in the fridge, because there are two things Mindy Kaling likes cold: beer and beauty masks."

On advice from Kim Kardashian:
"The most valuable thing I learned from Kim Kardashian is that your arm must never lie flat against your body. ... I remember hearing her say that when you put your hand on your hip, it makes your arm look thinner and draws attention to your waist. I tried it and love it! So I started doing it whenever I was getting my picture taken."

See photos of Kaling throughout her career:
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Mindy Kaling through her career
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Mindy Kaling's book is full of beauty wisdom
Actress Mindy Kaling arrives at the 60th Primetime Emmy Awards at the Nokia Theater on September 21, 2008 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Lester Cohen/WireImage)
Actress Mindy Kaling attends NBC and Universal's 2009 TCA press tour all-star party at The Langham Resort on August 5, 2009 in Pasadena, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)
Actress Mindy Kaling arrives at the 61st Primetime Emmy Awards held at the Nokia Theatre LA Live on September 20, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic)
Actress Mindy Kaling arrives at the 62nd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards held at the Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on August 29, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 17: Mindy Kaling attends GQ 2010 'Men Of The Year' Party at Chateau Marmont Hotel on November 17, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by ANDREAS BRANCH/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images)
TODAY -- Pictured: Mindy Kaling appears on NBC News' 'Today' show -- (Photo by: Peter Kramer/NBC/NBC NewsWire via Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 23: Actress Mindy Kaling attends the Fox Broadcasting Company, Twentieth Century Fox Television And FX Celebrates Their 2012 Emmy Nominees at Soleto on September 23, 2012 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Frederick M. Brown/Getty Images)
TODAY -- Pictured: Mindy Kaling appears on NBC News' 'Today' show -- (Photo by: Peter Kramer/NBC/NBC NewsWire via Getty Images)
CULVER CITY, CA - NOVEMBER 03: Mindy Kaling attends the 1st Annual Baby2Baby Gala Presented By Harry Winston at Book Bindery on November 3, 2012 in Culver City, California. (Photo by JB Lacroix/WireImage)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - DECEMBER 05: Actress Mindy Kaling attends the Hollywood Reporter's 21st annual Women In Entertainment breakfast at The Beverly Hills Hotel on December 5, 2012 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)
SANTA MONICA, CA - OCTOBER 12: Actress Mindy Kaling attends The Young Storytellers Foundation's 10th Annual 'Biggest Show' at Moss Theatre at New Roads School on October 12, 2013 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Vincent Sandoval/WireImage)
TODAY -- Pictured: Mindy Kaling appears on NBC News' 'Today' show -- (Photo by: Peter Kramer/NBC/NBC NewsWire via Getty Images)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JANUARY 22: Actress Mindy Kaling arrives at the 22nd Annual PGA Awards at the Beverly Hilton Hotel on January 22, 2011 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Dr. Billy Ingram/WireImage)
THE MINDY PROJECT: Mindy Kaling in the 'Christmas Party Sex Trap' episode of THE MINDY PROJECT airing Tuesday, Dec. 3, 2013 (9:30-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX. (Photo by FOX via Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JANUARY 30: Actress Mindy Kaling arrives at the 17th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards held at The Shrine Auditorium on January 30, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - NOVEMBER 14: Actress/ Writer Mindy Kaling attends Glamour's Cindi Leive Toasts Mindy Kaling And Her Book 'Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)' on November 14, 2011 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jeff Vespa/WireImage)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - NOVEMBER 20: Mindy Kaling attends the Girls Inc. Los Angeles Celebration Luncheon at Beverly Hills Hotel on November 20, 2013 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Mike Windle/Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 13: Mindy Kaling attends the Pressed Juicery West Hollywood Opening Celebration at The Pressed Juicery on December 13, 2011 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amy Graves/WireImage)
WATCH WHAT HAPPENS LIVE -- Pictured: Mindy Kaling -- (Photo by: Charles Sykes/Bravo/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - SEPTEMBER 12: Actress Mindy Kaling attends 'The Mindy Project' 4th season premiere at Ysabel on September 12, 2015 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - SEPTEMBER 12: Actress Mindy Kaling and Hulu Head of Content Craig Erwich attend Hulu's 'The Mindy Project' Season Four premiere at Ysabel on September 12, 2015 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Angela Weiss/Getty Images for Hulu)
LOS ANGELES, CA - SEPTEMBER 11: Mindy Kaling is seen at 'Jimmy Kimmel Live' on September 11, 2015 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by RB/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - AUGUST 09: Actress and Executive Producer Mindy Kaling attends the Hulu 2015 Summer TCA Presentation at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on August 9, 2015 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty Images)
THE VIEW - Mindy Kaling and Gretchen Carlson are the guests today, Wednesday, June 17, 2015 on ABC's 'The View.' 'The View' airs Monday-Friday (11:00 am-12:00 pm, ET) on the ABC Television Network. (Photo by Lou Rocco/ABC via Getty Images)
HOLLYWOOD, CA - JUNE 08: Mindy Kaling arrives for the premiere of Disney-Pixar's 'Inside Out' at the El Capitan Theatre on June 8, 2015 in Hollywood, California. (Photo by Gabriel Olsen/Getty Images)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 30: Mindy Kaling speaks about her book: 'Why Not Me' at the BookCon 2015 at Javits Center on May 30, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Steve Sands/WireImage)
NEW YORK, NY - MAY 27: Author Mindy Kaling signs copies of her newest book during BookExpo America held at the Javits Center on May 28, 2015 in New York City. (Photo by Brent N. Clarke/FilmMagic)
CANNES, FRANCE - MAY 18: US actress Amy Poehler (C) US actress Mindy Kaling (L) and US actress Phyllis Smith (R) pose during the photocall for the film 'Inside Out' at the 68th international film festival in Cannes, France on May 18, 2015. (Photo by Mustafa Yalcin/Anadolu Agency/Getty Images)
LATE NIGHT WITH SETH MEYERS -- Episode 462 -- Pictured: Actress Mindy Kaling during an interview on December 14, 2016 -- (Photo by: Lloyd Bishop/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images)
LOS ANGELES, CA - NOVEMBER 14: Actress/writer Mindy Kaling arrives at the Glamour Women Of The Year 2016 at NeueHouse Hollywood on November 14, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage) *** Local caption *** Mindy Kaling
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 03: Actress Mindy Kaling is seen on set of Ocean 8' on November 3, 2016 in New York City. (Photo by Raymond Hall/GC Images)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - JULY 27: Actor Mindy Kaling speaks onstage during Summer TCA at The Beverly Hilton Hotel on July 27, 2017 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Joe Scarnici/Getty Images for Hulu)
LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 21: Mindy Kaling attends 'The Mindy Project' costume conversation event held at The Beverly Center on June 21, 2017 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Michael Tran/FilmMagic)
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