Things LGBT women are tired of hearing

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Op-Ed: Things LGBT Women Are Tired Of Hearing
"Man hater."
"Are you sure you're bisexual?"
"I never would have known that you're transgender."

Marriage equality is the law of the land, Ellen DeGeneres dominates TV and transgender icons like Laverne Cox and Caitlyn Jenner are all over magazines — but that doesn't mean that LGBT women have escaped ugly stereotypes and intrusive questions.

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So here are things LGBT women tired of hearing — and why you should stop saying them, too:

Why are you wearing dude's clothes?
I feel more comfortable in clothing that matches how I feel.

You just haven't met the right man.
Gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things. Transgender people can be straight *or* identify as a lesbian, bisexual or gay — and it has nothing to do if we've met the right person or not.

You don't *look* gay...Or bi...Or queer.
What does being gay look like exactly?

Who's the guy in the relationship? And — if you're going to date a butch lady, why not just date a guy?
If I wanted to date a guy...I'd date a guy.

Have you had *the* surgery?
Questioning the gender of an lgbt woman isn't only none of your business — it can lead to harassment and violence against us — like the 20 trans women who've been murdered this year alone.

Do you all scissor? How do you have sex?
Sex is personal and private — how would you feel if a stranger asked you that question?

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I bet I could turn you straight.
Being LGBT is part of who we are — not something you can persuade us to change.

So...Instead of these questions and statements, you could ask us how to get involved in the fight for adequate health care and housing and other resources that not all LGBT women have. Ask how to support us at work and how to make sure we stay safe in the streets — because we still don't have job protections and guaranteed safety.

And, start by sharing this video, because knowledge is power.

See the slideshow below for famous transgender advocates:
11 PHOTOS
Famous transgender activists
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Things LGBT women are tired of hearing
Actress Laverne Cox from the Netflix series "Orange is the New Black" arrives at the 68th Primetime Emmy Awards in Los Angeles, California U.S., September 18, 2016. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson
In this June 1, 2015 photo, a journalist looks at Vanity Fair's Twitter site with the Tweet about Caitlyn Jenner, who will be featured on the July cover of the magazine. Caitlyn Jenner, the transgender Olympic champion formerly known as Bruce, on Monday unveiled her new name and look in a sexy Vanity Fair cover shoot -- drawing widespread praise, including from the White House. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender campaigners -- and many well-wishers -- welcomed the high-profile debut, as did the 65-year-old Jenner's family, which includes the media-savvy celebrity Kardashian clan. 'I'm so happy after such a long struggle to be living my true self,' Jenner wrote in her first tweet after the magazine released the July cover photo by renowned photographer Annie Leibovitz. AFP PHOTO / MLADEN ANTONOV (Photo credit should read MLADEN ANTONOV/AFP/Getty Images)
Writer Janet Mock attends Marie Claire's Second-Annual New Guard Lunch at Hearst Tower on October 30, 2014 in New York City. (Photo by Robin Marchant/Getty Images for Marie Claire)
Transgender former US Navy Seal Senior Chief Kristin Beck speaks during a conference entitled 'Perspectives on Transgender Military Service from Around the Globe' organized by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) and the Palm Center in Washington on October 20, 2014. Transgender military personnel from 18 countries who allow them to serve openly, gathered to talk about their experiences and discuss whether the US military could join them. It is estimated that more than 15, 000 transgender personnel currently serve in the US military, but policy requires their separation if they are discovered, according to the ACLU. AFP PHOTO/Nicholas KAMM (Photo credit should read NICHOLAS KAMM/AFP/Getty Images)
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA - MAY 07: Model Gigi Gorgeous attends the NYLON Young Hollywood Party presented by BCBGeneration at HYDE Sunset: Kitchen + Cocktails on May 7, 2015 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Jason Kempin/Getty Images for NYLON)
NEW YORK, NY - NOVEMBER 13: Mixed martial artist Fallon Fox attends the 2013 Emery Awards at Cipriani Wall Street on November 13, 2013 in New York City. (Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images)
Model Lea T presents a creation by Teca by Helo Rocha during the 2016 Summer collections of the Sao Paulo Fashion Week in Sao Paulo, Brazil, on April 16, 2015. AFP PHOTO / MIGUEL SCHINCARIOL (Photo credit should read Miguel Schincariol/AFP/Getty Images)
Jenna Talackova (R) arrives for a press conference in Los Angeles with her attorner Gloria Allred (out of frame) on April 3, 2012. Canada's Miss Universe pageant said it would allow the transgendered model to compete in its pageant as long as Canada recognizes her gender as a woman. Talackova was previously disqualified, she said, because she used to be male. AFP PHOTO/Frederic J. BROWN (Photo credit should read FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)
Director, writer and producer Lana Wachowski poses on arrival for the Los Angeles Premiere of the film 'Jupiter Ascending' in Hollywood, California on February 2, 2015. The film opens on February 6. AFP PHOTO / FREDERIC J. BROWN (Photo credit should read FREDERIC J. BROWN/AFP/Getty Images)
BEVERLY HILLS, CA - FEBRUARY 28: Caitlyn Jenner attends the 2016 Vanity Fair Oscar Party Hosted By Graydon Carter at Wallis Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts on February 28, 2016 in Beverly Hills, California. (Photo by Karwai Tang/WireImage)
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