This hilarious obituary is breaking the Internet
Pat Stocks was no ordinary woman. Therefore, her children made sure to write an obituary as unique, charismatic, and full of love as she was after she died at the age of 94.
Stocks was well known for her absurd collection of peculiar possessions. The obituary reads:
"She left behind a hell of a lot of stuff to her daughter and sons who have no idea what to do with it."
It gets even better. The obituary lists Stocks' bizarre possessions. She left behind "2 extremely large TV's from the 90s, a large ceramic stork (we think) umbrella/cane stand, a toaster oven (slightly used), a 2001 Oldsmobile with a spoiler (she loved putting the pedal to the metal), with only 71,000 kilometers and 1,000 tools that we aren't sure what they're used for."
Don't worry, though. While this list might appear to be a strange newspaper advertisement, Stocks' children made sure to include a notice to set the record straight. It reads:
"This is not an ad for a pawn shop, but an obituary for a great Woman, Mother, Grandmother and Great-Grandmother born on May 12, 1921 in Toronto."
Stocks' son Sandy told BuzzFeed Canada that the task of writing the obituary fell to him after his older sister became too distraught to do it. He said:
"I told them, I'm going to write it and it's not going to be an ordinary obituary."
His masterpiece certainly isn't an ordinary obituary. In addition to playing fun at his mom's worldly possessions, the loving son also describes Stocks' "lack of patience, not holding back her opinion and a knack for telling it like it is She always told you the truth even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear. It was the school of hard knocks and yes we were told many times how she had to walk for miles in a blizzard to get to school, so suck it up."
Mary Patricia Stocks and her family:
Just in case we didn't get a sense of this wonderful woman's character through stories detailing her lovingly stubborn nature, Sandy also wrote about Stocks' less than appetizing cooking skills. The obituary reads:
"She believed in overcooking everything until it chewed like rubber so you would never get sick because all germs would be nuked ... If anyone would like a copy of her homemade gravy, we would suggest you don't. The gravy was like paste and the turkey was hard and there was no juice in it."
The story behind Stocks' tendency to overcook everything melts our hearts, though. According to Sandy, his father got used to overcooked and bland food while serving in World War II. His mother made sure to cook to her husbands newly developed taste. The obituary reads:
"They had the best marriage, they were madly in love and just an incredible couple, and they did everything for each other and for her kids."
Of course, what's an honest obituary without some good old fashioned profanity and chores? The description continues:
"She liked four letter words as much as she loved her rock garden and trust us she LOVED to weed that garden with us as her helpers, when child labor was legal or so we were told."
Now that this amazing obituary has circled the world, Sandy told BuzzFeed Canada that he's been inundated with phone calls from kind samaritans. Strangers from around the world are now signing the guestbook for the obituary.
Sandy told BuzzFeed Canada that he wrote such an honest and humorous obituary because he "wanted the grandkids and great grandkids to have something to remember her by. And Christ almighty they are going to have something to remember her with now."
The obituary concludes:
"All whom loved her dearly and will never forget her tenacity, wit, charm, grace (when pertinent) and undying love and caring for them. She died peacefully and had a great long life, and us kids had a great life with her."
She sounds like a truly incredible person.
Obituary for Toronto's Pat Stocks, 94, brings unexpected laughs, via @tara_deschampshttp://t.co/f6ubQTWo9Tpic.twitter.com/glXRiMOedx
— Toronto Star (@TorontoStar) July 20, 2015
Watch this video to learn how to live a fulfilling life just like Stocks did:
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