How to sweat and like it

How Sweating Benefits Skin and Cellulite
You could try to fight it — fill a Jacuzzi with antiperspirant and soak until your pores seal shut. Perhaps by August you will be named runner-up to a silica gel packet in the competition for World's Driest Woman, and only then will the CEO of a deodorant company ring you up and finally answer the question, "What happens to a sweat deferred?" Does it dry up behind your armpit like a raisin in the sun, or is there some trumpet-spit-valve-type apparatus that you can empty into a mason jar and exchange for a sexy, employed boyfriend who showers daily? Maybe it builds up somewhere inside your beach bod and is converted into aluminum-deodorant-related cancer myths. I don't know — I love to sweat!

Does any summertime ritual feel more indulgent than letting yourself go? On a 90 degree day, I will sit braless on my roof for an hour at a time, eating peaches and drinking ice water until my face and chest are wet with sweat and juice. I am not an especially beautiful woman, but in summertime I love to become a kind of lazily beautiful machine that converts idleness into water and salt. What is more luxurious than doing nothing and having something to show for it? Is there a more empowering beauty ritual than giving your body permission to function exactly as designed? It can feel oppressive, with groceries to haul and buses to run after, but summertime sweat is not without reward. Science says that perspiration is a free amenity provided by the hypothalamus, the part of your brain that regulates temperature control. Sweat evaporating off the skin takes with it the heat of morning walks and patio cocktails and time spent reading by the pool. Think of it as locally sourced AC.

Photo: Image Source/Getty Images

Are toxins real? This I don't know. Does sweating cleanse you of them? I would stake my life on it. In the classical logic of womanhood, if something is difficult, then it must be good for you. When a face mask stings, I know it's working. If I can't stop crying, I know I am about to get a promotion, or finally reach my goal weight!

Once, in 1999, when I was 7 years old, I read an article in a women's magazine about rejuvenating Russian banyas where women whip themselves with birch branches, sweat for hours in a steam sauna, and then dunk in pools of freezing water. People are always stressing about young girls internalizing Disney princess standards of beauty, but what about those of us who got caught up at an early age in the fantasy of butch Russian grandmas sweating themselves handsome? Into adulthood I've carried with me an only lightly interrogated delusion that I can sweat my way toward better health or better skin or a thinner, flatter core. At most, I succeed in making myself thirsty.

Luckily, nothing pairs better with a sweaty and self-deluding afternoon of leisure than the myriad iced drinks of summer — phosphates, egg creams, seltzers, spritzers, coffee, cider, tea, and water (with or without gas).

Tomorrow will be hot enough to sweat if you let yourself. Walk ten blocks in the heat until you are sweaty and self-conscious, then walk ten blocks more until you forget to care. At the cafe on the corner, buy yourself something over ice to replenish the fluids. You will need them for the rest of summer, but first, the sweaty walk home.

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How to sweat and like it
Hot yoga today! #happyandhealthy 🙏💪✌️
Six months no beer. #GOTG Kinda douchey to post this but my brother made me.
Last night after a 17hour day running around London with the @VictoriasSecret #Angels and attending the #BFAs, I squeezed in a midnight work out with my trainer #JustinGelband to get ready for the #VSFashionShow (Dedication....or insanity? 💪👊)
One day I'll get the therapy I need. Until then... #HeavyIronFightsThePain #CheaperThanAShrink #NoFannyPacks My only drawback is f*cked up calloused hands.
Monday with @gunnarfitness!!! I am determined to get my pre-hamptons, pre- sympathy kourtney pregnancy weight off. Nothing good comes easy. Why do I blame Kourt though?!? Lol
End of week one of Navy St. Training camp
To be the best you have to learn from the best! #Homework #Hardwork #NoDaysOff #TMT #Creed
#goinhard #kravmaga
Had my RIB in the gym with me getting it in today....I'm 30days away from my goal people!!! I've been busting my ass & it's paying off. #healthiswealth #hustlehart #comedicrockstar #FitCouple #WorkingOnMyActionMovieBody #BoxOfficeKiller #motivation #focused
#MMA Training w/my bro Gerald.. #NYC.. Trying to hang with @rampage4real & @georgesstpierre!
Look who stopped by to watch me workout. @theellenshow I love her!
Finally gettin back into the swing of things thx to @tommyeurope . Time to turn things up a notch #ScrawnyColtonBegone #LetsEat
Someone is back on the grind. New things in the weight room this year. New season + new things = new swimmer! #shwoa #jeah
#iwokeuplikethis #crow w @corneliusjonesjr #hotyoga 💪🔥💦💨👊#cracklifeopen
#gunshow #iwillwhatiwant
Post workout @underarmourwomen @hot8yoga @baby2baby @omarrlopez @zicococonut @honest @cafegratitudela #cracklifeopen
Ended our #pilates sesh on a high note 🎶 A huge thanks to Suzanne + Graham Robins for their generous donation to and bidding on a work out with me and @nicolestuartla 💪💜 #fabletics
Addicted 💪 dedicated
Bout to curl 95lbs 💁😂
Brotherly love (or should I say brotherly mud?) at this weekend's #SpartanRace!
One of the first places I visit when I come to New York @elcuerpodepapi & @leilaflashfazel at #aerospacenyc #bodydaddy 👊💥 pow pow!
Boxing Part 3 #workoutwednesday #girls
@floydmayweather is my trainer
Sunday is family workout day @dino5thstgym 👊💪👊let's go!
End of week one of Navy St. Training camp
I 💜 @balletbodies

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