The Knicks make their ridiculously large players sign contracts on a ridiculously tiny table
By JOHN DORN
We can all agree that most NBA players are freakishly gigantic men -- generally around 6'6", 220 pounds on average. Men of this size typically require specific accommodations like custom-made suits, cars and houses. But the New York Knicks don't seem to acknowledge this as fact.
On Thursday, the first day NBA free agents could officially sign with their teams, the Knicks' official Twitter account posted photos of the team's newest acquisitions signing their contracts. The guys look a bit... cramped.
That table is about half the height of Robin Lopez's knees.
Arron Afflalo has resorted to MLB catcher technique, just to sign his name.
Poor Derrick Williams became so distressed that caterpillars started growing out of his head.
This is nothing new, though. Let's flash back to last season.
Lance Thomas and Lou Amundson had to use this stupid table so many times. Ricky Ledo's chin is parallel to his knees. On second thought, this was a very fitting way for these players to begin their tenure with the team. "Welcome to the Knicks! Nothing about this will be enjoyable."
The Knicks are a very expensive franchise -- valued by Forbes at $2.5 billion. The least they can do is purchase their giant athletes a taller table.
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