10 most absurd moments in Will Ferrell-Kristen Wiig Lifetime movie
If you saw Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig's Lifetime movie and are still trying to process what you just witnessed, you're not alone.
There were certainly a lot of life lessons to be learned in A Deadly Adoption, which aired Saturday on the cable channel. Possible morals to the story are to make sure the dock on your lake is not in disrepair, look at someone's stomach before just assuming they're pregnant and always, always keep track of the groupies you sleep with on book tours.
The film centered on married couple Robert (Ferrell) and Sarah (Wiig) and their daughter Sully, who welcomed Bridget (Jessica Lowndes), the pregnant mother of their adoptive child, into their home. Bad things ensued.
Here are ten of the film's most head-scratching moments. (Spoilers ahead.)
Robert silently mouthed Sarah's name as she fell into the water
Wooden docks are not to be trusted, apparently, which a pregnant Sarah learned when falling into the water and losing their baby. Also, Robert probably could have benefited from some CPR classes at some point in his life, since he seemed to have no idea what he was doing.
Sarah was certain that Bridget is A-OK
"I think we're going to be really happy," Sarah told Robert as they invited Bridget to move in, which was a surefire sign that they were going to be decidedly unhappy.
Bridget desecrated Robert's book cover, as if the publishing industry didn't have enough problems
Bridget didn't waste time to start destroying the family's property. She picked up a copy of Robert's book -; which inexplicably featured him with his wife on the front cover -; and tore off Sarah's picture, as it slowly cascaded to the ground. "Good luck getting a used bookstore to buy this with half a cover missing, Robert!" was what Bridget may have been thinking.
The dangers of ... what was that again?
One of the most memorable lines was Sarah telling Robert dramatically about their daughter's health issues, "You know the dangers of diabetic ketoacidosis!" Uh, doesn't everyone?
Robert finally realized Bridget looked familiar
Robert must have been on one hell of a bender, since he didn't remember having recently slept with Bridget, a.k.a Joni, on a book tour. Apparently, people are completely unrecognizable with pink hair and a fake pregnancy pad. (Where do people buy fake pregnancy pads, by the way?)
Sadly, a trophy was not enough to thwart Bridget
Even though Sarah threw the trophy at Bridget to stop her, Bridget still managed to knock Sarah out, leaving her to die of carbon monoxide poisoning before shooting Robert. "Mommy is already dead -; I'm your new mommy now," Bridget kindly informed Sully.
Robert heroically carried Sarah from the garage
As if he was saving Charlie from the jungles of 'Nam, Robert slowly brought Sarah's still-breathing body into the home, full of its breathable air.
Robert dove to avoid getting hit by Bridget in the truck
It might have been preferable had Robert gotten out of the way from the path of Bridget's truck sooner, as she and Sully came barreling toward him. Luckily, his leaping skills were par excellence.
Time for a dip
Just as Bridget was aiming to shoot Robert and Sully in their getaway boat, Sarah snuck to shoot her in the back, leading to a very comical scene in which Bridget went flying over the edge of the bridge. Then, the camera lingered on Bridget for a remarkable amount of time as she floated lifelessly in the water. Evidently, Bridget was off to the Great Adoption Agency in the Sky.
When in doubt, dance
The film ended on an upbeat note, with Robert, Sarah and Sully all dancing their troubles away. Yes, more than one wooden spoon was used as to pantomime a microphone.
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