If not, maybe you need to think more like a grade school student. This grade school student has a platform to express hot takes on the NFL, and used it to call out Panthers quarterback Cam Newton. Here's the article, via Twitter user Jeff Atkins (with the young writer's name crossed off):
Can you feel that heat? That was a scorching hot take.
He jumps right in; the second sentence is "I believe they need a better quarterback." Right away, you know this kid isn't pulling his punches.
Now, this kid isn't totally unreasonable here. He'll admit that "maybe the team is responsible for some of the losses" but that "most of the time it is [Newton]'s fault."
Ouch. Do you feel that burn, Cam? Newton may answer to "Superman," but it sounds like this kid thinks of him as a much more useless superhero, like Aquaman. (Sorry, Aquaman. Your superpower is swimming. That's something literally every single human being is capable of).
But here's where the hot takes get even hotter. Our grade school columnist does think there's a spot for Newton on the team: running back.
It sounds like we have a future First Take co-host here. Moving Cam Newton to running back is the hottest of all the hot takes.
The only thing that betrays the young writer's lack of readiness to fire out scorching hot takes is the last part of his article. He seems to backtrack from his stance, saying that "now that I think about it... the Panthers were never a very good team. Maybe he is not the only bad player."
Bad form, kid! Never back off your hot takes like that! You have to stick to them in the face of all common sense and reasonable arguments! Looks like he'll need some more seasoning before he can join the First Take crew.
One can only imagine the column he'd write if he followed a team with an actual bad quarterback. If he was, say, a Tampa Bay fan, he definitely wouldn't be pushing to move Josh McCown to running back, I can tell you that.
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Grade school newspaper has a hot take on Cam Newton
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